The Cost Of Winning

ASHLEY'S POV :

"Hey , that's awesome !" , CC says to whoever is on the other end of his phone call . "Don't be negative ! If your professors nominated you , you have as good of a shot as anybody else . Keep me posted , kid . Good luck !"

He talks for a couple more minutes , then hangs up , just as Blasko and Feldy walk into the room . I've been in LA for a week , so we can get tracks going for the next album , and today we're going to work on narrowing down which songs are most likely to go on the album , and concentrate on those first .

"Who was that ?" , Jake asks CC .

"That was my cousin Diane . She got nominated for some big award at the university , so she's pretty stoked !" , he replies . "Apparently she's only the third person at the school to be nominated in the last thirty years or so , and she said that out of all the winners , only one of 'em ever didn't end up going into a major grad program afterwards , or getting some really cushy job ."

"What about on your end , Ash ? Is Brenna doing better ?" , Andy inquires . He's referring to the fact that Fianna told me that she had to miss a couple of days of day care because she picked up some sort of stomach bug .

"I called last night , and she was feeling better ." , I tell him . "Fi said she was gonna keep her out of daycare for at least one more day , to make sure she's not contagious . Apparently she's staying with Miki today , because Fi couldn't take another day off . I'm gonna call her as soon as she gets off , and talk to Bren ."

"You still going back next weekend ?" , CC asks .

"Absolutely ! I explained to her that I wouldn't be able to come for my schoolday visits , but I wouldn't miss our weekends . So as long as we're here , I'll be flying back on Friday afternoons and coming back Sunday night ."

Everyone sort of nods , and Andy gets up and grabs a Sharpie , scribbling on the whiteboard that contains our tentative schedule for recording . He erases a few things , and moves them to other spots , then says , "There , that makes it work !"

CC goes into the booth to lay down the drum track for one of the songs , while the rest of us sit in the next room listening . He runs through the song , and Feldy asks him to do something different on the bridge , so he starts up again . Halfway through the song , I feel my phone vibrate . I pull it out of my pocket , and see Fianna's number . It's too early for her to be off work , so I figure she must be on her break . I click on and say , "Hey , Fi , what's up ?"

She doesn't say anything at first , and I hear sort of a weird clicking noise . I'm almost ready to assume she accidentally butt - dialed me or something and hang up when I finally hear , "Ash ..."

Her voice sounds completely wrong , so I instantly know something's not right . I also hear strange noises in the background , and I say , "Fianna , what's wrong ? What's all that noise I hear ?"

"We ... We're ... at the ... at the hospital ." , she stammers , and I realize that the clicking noise I heard earlier was her teeth clicking together . This is definitely not good .

"The hospital ?! What the fuck for ?! " , I shout , and everyone instantly turns their attention to me .

"She was feeling better , but after lunch she got really sick , and Miki called me and brought her to the emergency room . They're taking her to do tests , but she wants to talk to you first ." , she tells me .

"Put her on ."

A couple of seconds later , I hear a tiny little voice say , "Daddy , me feels ucky . Pwease you come sees me ? Me misses you , Daddy ."

"I'll be there as soon as I can , cutie . But until I get there , you be good for Mommy and the doctor . Do what they tell you , so they can make you feel better , okay ?"

As I'm talking to her , I snatch Andy's notebook out of his hand , write down , "Bren - hospital" , and put it down in front of everyone . As everyone reads it , I see Feldy pull out his phone and punch in a number .

"Me is be good girl , but mines tummy feels not good ." , Brenna says .

"I know , sweetie , and I'm sorry . Daddy loves you , baby girl , and I'll be there as quick as I can ."

"Me wuvs you , Daddy . I has to go wif the nursie now . Byebye !"

"Bye , cutie , I'll see you soon ."

Fianna comes back , and I tell her , "As soon as I hang up , I'm going to book the first available flight . I'll give you a call and let you know when I'll be getting back to town ."

" Not necessary , Ash ." , Feldy announces , still holding his phone to his ear . "I have a friend who has his own plane , and he's agreed to fly you back . He says he can be ready to leave in about an hour , if you're ready ."

"Fuck , I'm ready now , but that's better than having to wait for a commercial flight . Tell your buddy thanks . Did you hear that , Fi ?"

"Yeah , I heard . So how long will it take ? " , she replies .

I look at the clock and say , "It's 11:25 right now , so if we leave in an hour , I should be in Nashville no later than 3:30 . Which hospital are you at ?"

She gives me the name of the hospital , and I tell her , "If traffic isn't bad , I should be at the hospital by no later than 4:00 . I'll call you as soon as we land . And one more thing , Fi ..."

"What's that ?"

"Hang tight , and think positive . She's going to be fine , I won't accept anything else ."

"I hope you're right ." , she practically whispers . "You have to be right ."

I end the call , only to find all the guys on their phones , talking to their significant others . When I hear Jinxx telling Alice he's on his way to get his bag , I just look at them in utter confusion .

Blasko says , " Feldy's friend says he can carry six passengers , so we're coming with you . We're going home to grab some clothes , and have our girls drop us at the airport , so we're ready to roll as soon as he is . Do you need to go with C to grab your stuff , since you're crashing at his place ?"

"Yeah , probably , since I most likely won't make it back to my house tonight ." , I respond .

We all leave the studio , and everybody goes to their place to grab a bag of clothes that the girls are packing for them , and we're going to meet up at the airstrip where Feldy's friend keeps his plane .

We get to CC's place , and Anna is waiting for us at the front door , with my bag and C's gym bag sitting on the step next to her . As soon as I get out of the car , she runs over and envelops me in a tremendous hug .

"Ash , I'm so sorry that Brenna is sick !" , she says . "But I know she'll be better soon . I have faith in that ."

"That's basically what I told Fi . I told her that I wasn't going to accept anything else . But I have to be honest with you , I'm scared shitless right now !" , I admit .

"Of course you are , that's your baby , and you don't know what's wrong . And poor Fianna must be beside herself !" , she says , giving me another squeeze . " When you get there , tell her that we're thinking about her , too ."

"Thanks , Anna , I will ."

She gets into the car as CC and I toss our bags into the car and get in , and she drives us out to the airstrip . Everyone else is there , and I get hugged by all of the other girls , and more well - wishes to pass on to Fi , before we finally get on the plane . Feldy's buddy , whose name turns out to be Nigel , informs us that he's already called ahead to the Nashville airport and explained the situation , so we'll get priority for landing , and won't have to worry about holding patterns or anything , and that the weather is clear , so we should be able to make good time .

The plane takes off , and the guys start trying to engage me in random conversations . I'm basically replying with monosyllables at first , and after a bit , I kind of start getting annoyed . I'm just about to start screaming at everyone to shut the fuck up , when a light bulb goes on in my head , and I realize that they're trying to distract me , and keep me from totally coming unglued .

"Hey , guys ." , I say . "Thanks for coming . I probably would've gone insane up here by myself , with nothing but my own thoughts ."

"That's what we figured ." , Jake informs me . " We're family , remember ? This is what families do ."

"Yep , we look after our own ." , Andy adds .

After what feels like a week , we finally touch down in Nashville . As we get off the plane , I see a van sitting outside the fence , with the words "Wilkes Landscaping" emblazoned on the side . There's a tall , thin guy in a Predator's jersey standing next to the van , and he waves to us to come that way .

"Hi , I'm Larry ." , he says . "The boss asked me to come take y'all to the hospital , so you didn't have to call an Uber or anything like that . Which one of you is little Brenna's dad ?"

I give him a small wave , and he grabs my hand and says , "That's a darlin' little girl you've got there . Her and her momma have come by with Mikaela a few times , and she's the sweetest little thing you ever saw . Me and the rest of the guys are prayin' for her , and I hope she feels better real soon ."

"Thanks , Larry , I appreciate that ." , I tell him . "Right now , I'll take all the help I can get ."

We all pile into the van , and it's basically a miracle that we don't get pulled over , because Larry's driving like he's trying to qualify for a spot on the NASCAR circuit . I give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he's just trying to get us to the hospital as fast as possible , and that he doesn't drive this way when he's working . So , with that in mind , when we get out of the van , I suggest to the guys that they not mention it to Ryan , and they agree .

We go inside , and I tell the guy at the front desk who I'm looking for . He tells me that she's on the third floor , so we get on the elevator and go up . When the doors open , the first thing I see are the words "Pediatric ICU" painted on the wall , with an arrow pointing to the left , and my knees nearly give out .

ICU ? Fuck , that means things are even worse than I thought .

We all move down the hall , and when we finally turn a corner , we find a little waiting area , where Ryan is sitting between Fianna and Miki , with an arm around each of them , and Miki has reached across his lap and is holding onto Fi's hand .

I sit down next to Fianna , and ask , "How is she ? Have they figured out what's wrong ?"

She looks at me , barely seeming to realize that I'm here for a few seconds , and I see that she's shivering like she's in a freezer . I take hold of her other hand , and finally Ryan answers my question , saying , "They took her for some more tests . Apparently , they've narrowed it down , and they're trying to figure out if it's something they can give her medicine for , or if they'll have to do surgery ."

"You need to go see her when she comes out ." , Fianna says in a raspy whisper . "She's been asking for you all day , and I promised her that she could see you as soon as you got here ."

"Of course , that was my plan anyway ." , I tell her . "Did they say anything at all ?"

She shakes her head and says , "Dr . Abernathy said that he didn't want to say anything until he was sure of what's going on , and maybe make us worry unnecessarily ."

We sit here for about an hour , and just as Andy and Blasko come back from the cafeteria with drinks for everybody , a short , plump man in a white coat comes around the corner .

"Dr . Abernathy , how's Bren ?" , Fianna asks , jumping up out of her seat like she's on springs . "Can we see her now ? I promised her that she could see her daddy as soon as he got here ."

"Yes , you can see her in a few minutes , but I need to discuss the test results with you first ." , he informs us , very solemnly .

Just listening to the tone of his voice , I already know that we're not going to like what he has to say . I put my arm around Fi's shoulders , and say , "Doctor , what's wrong with our little girl ?"

"Ms . Chandler , Mr . Purdy , I'm sorry to have to tell you that Brenna's liver is failing . She's going to require a transplant , very soon ."

As he says this , I feel Fianna go limp next to me , and Ryan and I barely manage to catch her before she drops to the floor .

As we get her into a chair , I look back to the doctor and ask , "How long does that usually take ? "

Fortunately , Mr . Purdy , the liver is a regenerative organ , so we can take a piece from a living donor , and it will grow back . All we need to do is test potential donors to determine who is the best match . We usually begin with blood relatives , and work out to the donor registry if that doesn't work ."

I take off my jacket , and start rolling up my sleeve .

"Okay , when can we get started ?"

Notes