Beautiful Remains

The night had crawled up from the open cracks on the earth’s surface and slowly engulfed my surroundings. Stars peeked out from behind the clean veil of vapor every now and then. Ashley’s breathing against my back matched my own and his pulse had a calming effect. For now, everything was right with the world.

“Hey.” Dylan’s call made me jump, but the startled feeling was soon replaced with joy,”he asleep?”

An accusing finger motioned to Ashley and Dylan’s free hand offered me a warm hot chocolate. The absent moonlight made it hard for me to see his face, but I could tell he was being apologetic.

Ever since our little argument, Dylan has been doing me favors. Honestly, I wish he would stop, he has enough stress on his shoulders from Juliet without trying to please me. At least his efforts weren’t fruitless with Juliet, she was talking normally and could walk at a good pace for thirty minutes at a time. The group was even discussing heading out as soon as she could go for an hour.

“Ash has been out for a while.” I explained, taking the mug from Dylan.

“‘Ash?’” he repeated.

The ground rattled as Dylan planted himself down next to me. His demeanor was strange, but he must be feeling tired, not to mention, he didn’t enjoy feeling guilty for anything.

“I don’t call him that to his face.” I said.

“Why?” Dylan continued.

“Don’t want him to think we’re super close friends. I just shortened his name.”

“You know it’s that thinking that makes CC dislike you.”

“You noticed?” I laughed a little through my words to which Dylan responded with a chuckle.

“Yeah, but just yesterday. I feel bad for not realizing a little earlier.”

“Naw, it’s fine.”

“Look…” Dylan deepened his voice and peeked over his shoulder at Ashley uncertainly.

“He’s not gonna wake up, don’t worry. What are you going to say?” I prodded, trying to support him a bit.

With an uncomfortable shuffle, Dylan pulled me into a brotherly hug. I rested my head on his shoulder and listened to his heartbeat. His hand on my shoulder was cold and tired, but what made me stop was the skinny body I felt underneath me.

Sometimes I forgot that I wasn’t the only one affected by this world’s evil. Those times made me want to punch a wall until blood poured out of my knuckles, to punish myself.

Why am I so selfish?

“Now,” Dylan began,”I know I’m not much of a brother, but I love you, Ray. When you brought in Andy, Juliet and everyone else, I didn’t like them. Jinx had his gun out, CC was eyeing the supplies and Andy was carrying a sick girl. As time passed though, I saw what you saw. A man with his wits about him, another that took in his surroundings and a third looking after his loved ones… Sometimes I wonder how you manage to see so much, your sniper eye must see things mine don’t.”

At this time, I felt like crying, but I held it in. I didn’t want to come off as weak, not now, not in this time and age. Thankfully, Dylan’s laughter at his last remark helped me to steady my nerves.

“What I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry for doubting you and the guys downstairs…”

“Dylan,” I breathed,”thank you.”

“You’re welcome, now,” he said,”I need to tell you something.”

Wait, what?

“Remember my old girlfriend? Jenna?”

Where is this going?

“She’s downstairs.”

No way.

“Would it be ok if she stayed?”

Did he apologize just for this? Was that all just to get the guilt off his chest before he asked a favor?

Notes

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