I Didn't Want to Get Married

"Could you pick out Blondie's feet?" Blondie was a tough girl, but no need to make her trot around with stones stuck in her feet.

"Already done, Sir." I nodded. Good. Thank goodness Jon had come to fetch us just then, I'd been about to suggest something completely idiotic and inappropriate!

(Y/N) was, indeed, beyond beautiful, incredibly headstrong, and she had managed to turn me on quite precipitously, almost surely unintentionally. Nevertheless, it would have been a disaster if I had forged ahead on my impulse and asked her if I could have the honor of her first kiss. Forget being ‘famously handsome,’ I'd have had a broken nose to cope with, no doubt!

I offered (Y/N) my arm, and she took it. Hopefully she could ride decently, Danzig seemed to have taken a shine to her after her combination of manhandling and babying.

If any other horse was an acceptable choice to ride in Danzig’s company, Blondie had to be it. She got her name from her fancy silver dapple coloration. One of my mother's Gypsy Vanner mares, she had suffered a terrible bout of metritis following an abortion when she was only 6 years old, and been barren ever since, not even showing noticeable heat cycles. It made her perfect company for stallions, as she generally had a mellow temperament. That way the lads didn't get too lonely or strange in the head from being alone all the time. She was also not shy about informing aforementioned stallions that she was not receptive, and quickly established that their relationship would be solely platonic.

As we approached, I saw Danzig and Blondie were, in fact, in cross ties at two stations alongside one another, and Danzig was behaving. His foofy braids were still in place. I wondered what Father would think of that! Maybe I wouldn't have to say a damned thing about my thoughts on (Y/N), I'd just bring him out and show him the elaborate braids she'd put in his old warhorse. I stifled a snicker.

"This is Blondie? May I say hello?" I nodded, secretly pleased that (Y/N) had been paying attention and remembered her name. I watched as she scratched Blondie's shoulder and rubbed her breast. Again, I was impressed when (Y/N) didn't linger too long before going over and fussing with her greeting of Danzig, ensuring the old bastard didn't get jealous.

This was going to be… interesting. Danzig was used to leading or riding solo with my Father, not following Blondie. I supposed we could ride abreast, if (Y/N) could control Danzig. I found myself actually crossing my fingers as I led Blondie by the reins towards the mounting post my mother used, so (Y/N) would be able to get in Danzig’s saddle. Danzig may be short for a Shire but he was... oh.

When I turned around to ensure they were following, I found (Y/N) was sitting astride Danzig, looking very small, but excited. I had two thoughts at once: 'Strange woman, please don't die!' -and- ‘Must also get saddled!’

Danzig took that moment to lightly nip my ass, which got him a scolding and a light ear pinch from (Y/N). Argh! At least (Y/N) had my back (or my butt). I mounted Blondie and guided our slapdash group out of the stable, hoping desperately for a miraculous cloudburst to save me! However, there was no such luck, and I was greeted with the merry chirping of songbirds, making me frown.

It was then I realized I didn't know where we were going yet. I let (Y/N) bring Danzig up beside Blondie, making an effort not to tense. I relaxed when neither horse struck out. "We have a lot of land, my lady, and many trails-"

She raised an eyebrow. "-You're so modest and humble, Biersack. When are you going to tell me about sex?"

I guffawed, and felt my face turn red. "My goodness! You're like a wolverine, just scrabbling and rootling! I will, all right? I just thought, perhaps in the bloody middle of my Father's stables might be not the ideal location-" because I was getting an erection, but I'll refrain from mentioning that, "-so why don't we have the staff bring us a picnic about a mile from here? There's a trail through some shaded forest that ends at a structure my Father built for me as a boy at the end. Does that suit you?"

(Y/N) agreed, and I waved Jon over, telling him to have us a picnic ready at the old tent house. Strangely, I found myself enjoying (Y/N)'s odd company as we rode. Though, constantly, she challenged me.

“How do you expect to form any sort of genuine connection to any visiting woman, if you won’t make any time in your schedule to spend with them? Or are you already in love with someone? Or do you have romantic notions of marrying outside of aristocracy” (Y/N) glanced at me playfully, making me feel like an idiot.

I honestly hadn’t thought about the point she made. “No, I’m not already in love with anyone. I don’t know what the future holds, (Y/N). I just know that I was getting so tired of families with these girls visiting that were nice, but they really didn’t have anything in common with me, or care about me, they just want to lay claim to the things I’ll presumably have one day. A title, land, social standing… They were all blending together. I just don’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life.”

(Y/N) laughed. “Me neither!”

We spent most of the ride talking about our childhoods, our families, and the like. But at one point, (Y/N) dared me to race to the finish. Before I could tell her that neither horse was in any shape for such a thing, she took off at a gallop!

God, (Y/N) was galloping on Danzig! Shit! Panicking, I kicked an extremely recalcitrant Blondie in the flank, desperately urging her forward, and eventually got the old mare up to what was technically a lackluster gallop as well. I could feel my dick shrinking in terror as I saw (Y/N)’s hair streaming out behind her- it might look lovely and picturesque now, but I was no dupe! When she tried to rein that devil in, he would surely throw her! I had to beat (Y/N) there and catch her!

I tried shouting, and (Y/N) just turned and stuck her tongue out at me! Why?!? What had I done to deserve this? I kicked Blondie again, trying to tell her that now was the time for her to shine. She snorted, irritated, and went a bit faster.

I saw the tent house up ahead and prepared to jump from a galloping Blondie, moving my feet from the stirrups to the saddle. Just as I was ready to throw myself to the ground at a roll, perhaps dying in the process, so I could cushion (Y/N)’s fall from inevitably being bucked off, I saw Danzig begin to come to a slow halt as we passed!

Thank goodness! I brought Blondie about and jumped out of the saddle, leaving Blondie to her own devices, furious! (Y/N) had just dismounted and was telling Danzig how well he had done. I was about to tell (Y/N) off, and I gather she was about to claim victory, when we both were hushed rather abruptly.

We were most definitely not alone. We looked at each other, shocked into silence. There were the sounds of loud, amorous coupling coming from the inside of the tent house! Both of us flushed from collar to hairline instantly.

Notes

Cross ties: A method of restraint for a horse using two ropes instead of one, generally from each side of an aisle or two columns. Often regarded as safer than a post (single point of restraint)

A picture of two horses in cross ties, wearing halters:


Metritis: inflammation of the uterus

mounting post: Anything used to help a rider get up on larger/taller horses.

Stirrup: Ring or metal frame, attached to a saddle, holds the foot of a rider