Novocaine Hearts

Jake's POV

A few days after Riley and Ashley went home, the rest of us were scheduled to leave Miami also.
Lexa sat on my bed, pouting.
"Don't be so sad. You're still moving down to LA yeah?" I asked, jamming more clothes into my backpack.
"Yeah, I think so. I briefly spoke about it with Nate. He said he would prefer if I waited a bit longer to see how we're going with the album process to see how much we actually have. But, I don't know, me and Parker have been okay the last few weeks... Maybe things can go back to normal..." Lexa wondered as she picked at her nail polish.
"But, you're still moving out to LA? Right...?" I said uneasily.
"I don't know Jake... I mean... What are we? We haven't talked about it... We're not together, but we're not, not together... You know? Argh... I really like you and I will always think of you as the person who made me want to be better, but if you don't want me... around... I don't have to be" she spoke with care and caution, her eyes shooting up at me every so often.
"Aww, Lex..." I smiled, shaking my head at her. I sat on the bed next to her and took her hand. "Seeing you here in Miami has been amazing. I've missed you so much. I want us to be together. So, it would be awesome if you moved to LA."
Lexa couldn't contain her smile. I felt her hand tighten around mine and she sprung over and kissed me deeply.
I was taken aback for a moment, but quickly let myself melt into her. Letting my hands run over her body, feeling her teeth graze my lips.
"So is that a yes?" I said between kisses.
"Yes! Oh my God yes! I want us to be together!" She she excitedly, pulling away, but leaving her hands on my neck.
My cheeks started to hurt from how much I was smiling. I couldn't believe I had gotten Lexa back.
I leaned in and kissed her again and again. Roughly gripping the back of her head and pulling her closer.
"Knock knock" I heard someone say.
I quickly pulled away from Lexa and glared towards the door.
CC stood there, looking a little shocked, but shrugged it off.
"Umm, Jake we have to get going. The cab is here to take us to the airport" CC said, jerking his thumb towards the front of the house.
"Yeah, sure thing. Be there in a sec" I shot him a quick smile, annoyed.
CC disappeared from the doorway and I turned back to Lexa.
"I suppose you better get going" Lexa said, grabbing her bag off the floor.
"Please come to LA with us!" I whined.
"I can't. Nate still needs me here. Besides, I still need to talk to Parker and you really need to talk to Riley..." she huffed.
"I really don't think Riley will ever talk to me again..."
"You have to try. Anyways, I'm gonna go, cause you have to go. I'll see you in LA" she smiled as she quickly kissed me and left my room.

Later that evening, after I had packed away all my stuff and cleaned my apartment top to bottom. I settled in bed, ready to wind down and watch a movie when I got a visitor.
There was a light knock at the door, followed by silence.
I sighed and got out of bed to see who was there.
I unlocked the door and pulled it open, but no open was there. I turned my head to see a figure walking away.
"Hello?" I called.
The figure stopped. "Ohh, Jake, I wasn't sure if you were home or not..." She spoke quietly. She moved closer and when the light reach her face, it was Riley.
"What are you doing here?" I asked a little confused.
"Umm... I have to talk to you... Can I come inside?" She asked nervously.
"Yeah, of course" I said, clearing the way and making sure the dogs didn't escape.
As Riley walked in, Trixy circled her feet and started licking her ankles. Riley grabbed Trixy and cradled her to her chest.
"So, I didn't think you'd want to talk to me for a while..." I started.
"Well... I feel like I have to talk about the other week... What you saw..." her voice full of shame.
"We don't have to talk about that... I haven't told anyone" I assured her, sitting down on the edge of my bed.
I noticed Riley bite the inside of her mouth. "I couldn't take it anymore though" her own throat making her words choke up.
"What do you mean? You didn't do anything."
Riley looked like she was going to cry. She silently handed me Trixy and roughly removed her jacket.
She held out her left arm to me and showed me multiple, big, bright red scars.
"Ohh... Riley..." I was speechless.
"I've already told Ashley. I told him everything. He thinks I should go into therapy and I've agreed. I've just come by to tell you the rest of the story in case it comes up" she said, taking a seat on the edge of my bed.
"Why'd you do it? Cut yourself?" I asked, feeling a lump growing in my throat.
"I couldn't take the thoughts I was having... They were too much. It was all too much... I thought I had already had my hard years with my Dad, but it's like its all happening all over again. It's too much. That's why I don't want to go to London with you guys. I just want to stay home and take care of my bar."
"Why don't you ever tell us whats going on? It doesn't have to be a secret" I said, sitting next to her.
"I don't know. You guys seem to always think I'm helpless and can't handle my shit, when I can. I always feel like I have to prove myself, but somehow I dig myself a deeper hole."
"You really do. We're sick of all the secrets. You need to be straight with all of us. We are family and you have to know that we're here to support you no matter what" I said, placing a hand over hers.
"Thanks Jake. Anyways, I'm gonna go. Ashley probably wants me home" she said, as she quickly slipped her hand out from underneath mine.
Riley grabbed her jacket, tucking it under her arm and strode for the door.
"Riley..." I started.
She stopped and gave me a worried look; her hand on the doorknob.
"I'm sorry... about everything. All the horrible things I've said, for not supporting you, for not believing you, for every time I've doubted you. I really am sorry" I sighed, shame filling my body.
Riley sighed. It was like she wanted to be mad. "Thanks" she said stiffly. "But I don't want your apologises. I'm not saying it's all your fault, but you helped pushed me over the edge. I really didn't ever wanna be this person. I don't know if I'll ever stop hating myself."

Notes

Please comment.
I need some inspiration. It would really help :) <3
-Tina xx