Novocaine Hearts

Lexa's POV

For the remainder of Warped Tour, I tried not to dwell on everything that was said. I kept my focus on the show.
I avoided press as much as Nate would let me and I avoid Jake. For obvious reasons.
I was hurt by everything he said about me and it did make me wonder whether he said those things cause they were true or because he just wanted to hurt me.
I just put it down to him being asshole.
As for myself and Parker, we still laid low. We weren't ready to tell the fanbase that we were in an actual relationship.
Nate and Saxon were relieved. They didn't want to deal with the antics and ethical issues of it. There were always going to be rumours, but we let them slide. We never gave them proof.
Warped Tour was in it's final week, but we didn't want to go home. We were all having too much fun on tour, writing and getting inspired.

"Where would you go after this?" Parker asked Nate one night, as the bus sped through the vast emptiness of whatever state this was.
"I don't know... I was thinking maybe Miami? Chilling out by the beach. Writing some new stuff. What about you guys? What are you gonna do?" He asked, glancing between myself and Parker.
"Ummm" we said in unison. Neither of us had spoke about it. For most of the tour we hadn't even been acting like a couple.
"I swear, you guys are the worst couple ever" Saxon commented while we thought about our plans.
"Yeah, did you guys break up and us not know about it?" Nate asked, looking between us.
I looked over at Parker and he was looking down at his hands.
"Parker?" I said, feeling my face drop as I saw Parker's expression.
"We should probably talk Lex..." He said, getting up and walking to the back of the bus.
In confusion I looked at Nate and he looked worried. "You'll be fine" he said reassuringly.
I sighed and left to join Parker.
He sat with his head in his hands, grasping his hair in his fingers.
"What's up Parker?" I asked shutting the door behind me.
"Can we call ourselves a couple? I mean really? Are we a couple?" He asked, stressed by the thought.
"Of course we are" I said, dropping to my knees in front of him. Taking his hands off his face so he could look at me. "Why? What's wrong?"
"We're kidding ourselves. All tour we have been distant from each other. It doesn't even feel like we're together anymore. It feels like we're back to the way we used to be... when we were just band mates and friends. We don't love each other" he said flatly.
The last line stung.
How could he say that?! How could he say that there was no love?
I felt my cheeks get hot and my heart sinking into my chest.
"Are you saying you want to break up?" I said letting go of his hands.
"Lex, you can't tell me you haven't felt this distance. We're not in a relationship."
"I thought this was all a phase! That we'd be fine after Warped. I didn't think you want to break up!" I explained, tears pooling in my eyes.
"Lexa... Please don't make this hard. I've been thinking about this and maybe it's for the best" he said softly, he reached his hand out to touch my face.
I wanted to swipe it away, but it was going to be the last moment of tenderness.
"What's gonna happen?" The tears running down my cheeks. "When we get home? Do you want me to just act like the last 2 years didn't happen?!" I shrieked.
"I don't know... Maybe I'll leave for a bit."
I shook my head, denying the situation. "Can you please leave. I want to be alone."
Parker gave me a longing look, and leaned in to kiss me, but I turned my cheek.
"I just... I just don't think we're working anymore."
As soon as he left, I switched out the light and crawled into a ball on the couch.
How was I going to be okay?

"Lexa?"
*knock knock knock*
"Lexa? Are you awake?" The voice inside the room now.
"Go away" I mumbled.
"Lexa, we have a set. You know, Warped Tour?" I was starting to assume t was Nate, judging from the deep tone.
I unballed myself and looked up to him. "Do I have to?" I sighed.
"Please Lexa. We only have few shows left. Then you can go home" Nate pleaded.
I sniffled and pushed passed Nate to the bathroom.
"You're gonna be okay Lex" he called after me.
No I wasn't.

Nate's POV

She was a zombie.
Her body was there, but her mind was a million miles away. She went through the motions of getting herself ready for our set, but there was no care in it.
Her performance was no better.
She was a wreck. There was no going back after this.
I watched her pack up afterwards and walk off back to the lot.
"You fucked up big time!" I growled to Parker as I helped Saxon pack the drum kit.
"I fucked up? No. I did the right thing! It would be worse if I left it longer!"
"You know, I got so annoyed at her when I found out about you too. Telling her how I worked too hard in this band for her to fuck it up. And she fought back. She said it was different. She loved you! Looks like I yelled at the wrong person. If she leaves the band, or so much as looks at drugs, I'm blaming you."

Notes

Thoughts ?
-Tina xx