Heart of Fire

They say that you can feel when someone close to you dies. I can’t help but feel regret for not immediately going to him. I know that it is kind of irrational to blindly go after what happened in a dream, but I should have gone to see him.

I look down at my hands, they are shaking and I don’t feel like they are a part of me. I’m not crying, there’s no way he’s dead. I feel like this is a prank everyone is playing on me. I just saw him, and everything was great and we were happy. He’ll be here.

Nikki comes around the corner with red eyes and tear stains down her cheeks. Her arms open and circle around me. I feel my throat becoming blocked off and my face is wet. My body completely collapses into her. What the hell?

I’ve lost all the feeling in my body and mind. It’s just blank. She guides me back to the chair and she sits next to me. There are fresh tears across her face as well. Ashley takes my hand and squeezes it as I lean into him.

“It was very quick, painless.” Nicki says her voice rough and lifeless.

I don’t understand how this is real or how one person can affect my life as much as Jackson did. “W-what happened?” my voice sounds like Nikki’s only ten times worse. He was the only blood family I had left.

“He was helping set up the stage, which he never should have been on, but they were short on their staff. And a metal bar from the roof fell on him.” She said grasping my other hand. I nodded my head.

This is all my fault.

Notes

Sorry this is really short again but i didnt want to continually dwell on just the sadness
also i dont think i'm going to be able to update for the next couple weeks but we'll see...