My Fallen Angel

Tears ran down my face as I jerked the shard of glass out of my hand, Raza rambling as he paced the bathroom back and forth.
More blood seeped from the wound, eating through whatever material the sink was made out of. Razas eyes never strayed from it. "
You shouldn't have touched me," he muttered, agitated.
I cradled my hand to me, wanting to whimper at the pain. Why did it have to hurt so badly?
"Kenali," Raza suddenly appeared in front of me, and I jerked away from him, hitting the wall. He merely turned with me, looking unimpressed.
"I'm not going to let you leave," he told me point blank.
"You're not going to have a choice," I snapped at him, my hand spasming as it tried to heal itself. "You can't force me to stay here."
"You underestimate me." He said, eyes flicking to mine.
I watched as the blackness started to seep through them, until his entire eye looked like nothing more then a bottomless abyss. His teeth abruptly sharpened, and he grunted, rolling his shoulders as his back deformed slightly, harsh, sharp bone jutting out like spikes.
Raza had been here too long.
I pressed my back against the wall, my eyes widening as I watched the angel slowly lose himself into a demon, his form warping grotesquely.
I slipped my uninjured hand to the side, feeling for the doorknob, finding the cold metal and gripping it tightly.
I was out of here.
I jerked the door open, slamming it behind me as I went for the front. I heard it explode, and unfortunately, I glanced back.
My heart skipped a few beats in fear.
I screamed as he caught me, shoving me into the floor and holding me down. I clawed him, ripping through his face and throat, and he laughed, enjoying the fight.
"I always love the rumble before the kill," he hissed, blood dripping from his chin and splattering across my chest.
No!
I had to get him off me, I had to get away, back to Andiel ---.
I shoved at his shoulders, but it was like pressing against the earth.
"Your blood is mine now," Raza hissed, leaning down close to my face; he was straddling my waist, his weight keeping me pinned down as he tried to capture my wrists to gain total control.
I growled, wrapping my fingers around his throat and tearing at the skin. Blood started to cover the apartment, and the stench from his rot was almost overbearing. It seemed no matter how much I fought him, injured him, he just healed right up, new skin growing the second the old was injured.
"Get off me!" I shrieked, panicked.
He was going to kill me if I didn't get away from him, and he would enjoy every second of it --- he probably wouldn't even regret it when he returned to normal except that Theda would be upset.
"Theda!" I burst, and his attack faltered a moment. "Think of her! Control yourself!"
He growled, his fingers biting into my face as he held me still.
"Don't let her name past your lips again unless you wish for me to take out your tongue!"
I glared at him.
"She wouldn't want this, want to see you like this!" I managed. "She would be horrified!"
Raza growled, and pain blossomed through the side of my face as his fist silenced me.
I gasped, everything going dark for a moment.
And then I felt pain everywhere as he tore into my throat.
I screamed as his teeth cut through my flesh, tearing it. The pain spread up my neck and down my torso, paralyzing me.
All I could do was scream in agony as he drank my blood. And then I couldn't scream anymore as my blood filled my mouth, choking me, and I felt Raza rumble with satisfaction as he started to become sated.
"What the hell is going on up here?" someone shouted, beating on the front door, and Raza raised his head, drool and blood dripping from his mouth.
Oh no!
"Human," he breathed, clambering off of me and hopping to the door.
I gargled, and rolled my head, coughing the blood out. I heard the human scream as Raza got to him, but I was merely glad it was him and not me.
I have to go, I realized, forcing my eyes open. I have to get out of here. Oh, but I could barely move. And what was the point anyway?
The only being I had ever felt anything towards was human, and when he died, I would be left here all alone to suffer. And who wants to stay in a world with so much pain?
My mind flicked to Ashlandil.
But there was so much pleasure, too, if you could find it. He had promised to show me all the wonderful things this world had to offer, and I had wanted to see them so badly.
I still did.
And I didn't want to bleed out and disappear on the floor in some ugly apartment because a demon had attacked me; I didn't want to go like that.
I didn't want to go to oblivion!
I curled my fingers, and pressed against the soaked hardwood, managing to roll to my side, my blood and Razas eating through my clothes and everything else it touched like acid.
Up! I told myself fiercely. Get UP!
I made it to my knees.
I grasped at the hoody Ashley had lent me, feeling the half-eaten fabric around my shoulders, and giving a cry of pain as I peeled it off my skin.
I whimpered, and managed to pull the hood over my hair.
I could hear more human screams as Raza started attacking others, but all I could feel was fear and pain. I couldn't save them if I had wanted too, and at that moment all I could think about was getting away.
I crawled to the window, knowing there was a fire escape. I pulled myself up to the edge, my hand pressing against the glass as I panted, staring out into the darkness.
My fingers weakly fumbled with the lock, but I couldn't get it open.
Frustrated, I broke the window, glass shattering and falling everywhere.
I glanced back at the busted front door as I heard demonic laughter, the metal smell of human blood rising to my nose.
I gagged.
I couldn't be here.
I forced myself over the window sill, falling hard onto the creaky iron fire escape.
I had to get to the bus, I told myself, crawling to the ladder.
I had to make it to Andiel.
I was supposed to protect him from our kind.
Tears burned my eyes. How could I protect him when I couldn't even protect myself?
Ashlandil was right, I was basically useless, more of a burden then anything else. I managed to get myself into trouble constantly, I didn't even have to try. It was like the whole world was against me.
"Is this my.punishment?" I wept as I fell down onto the alley, water splashing over me. "All this pain?"
I pressed my eyes into my arm, and then raised my head.
"I only did this to protect him," I muttered, using the wall to get to my shaking legs. "To keep him safe! Why are you punishing me?"
I staggered forward into the street, glad it was dark and not crowded. I could hear sirens in the distance, getting closer and closer, and the smell of death was heavy in the air.
Go, I told myself, numbly moving forward. If I stopped, if I relaxed for just one moment, I knew I would crumble. I was still bleeding, it wouldn't stop, and it was eating through my clothing.
I hoped Ashlandil wouldn't be upset over his hoody; it had been so nice.
I pressed against a wall, using the force of it to help me stumble across the street. I fell to my knees, tripping over the sidewalk, and I coughed, trying to breathe.
Keep going.
Get to him.
He needs you!
I raised my head, feeling blood streak down my cheek.
My tears were black now.
GO!
I staggered back to my feet.
"Please," I prayed, "please make it stop. I didn't do this against you, Father! I did this to keep him safe!"
He didn't hear me, or He didn't care, because the pain only got worse the more I pushed myself.
At least some of me was numb by the time I neared the venue, stumbling blindly forward; it was like I was looking through a black tunnel.
I made it to the alley, and shoved myself forward, bouncing against the opposite wall. I could see the tour bus parked there, but I couldn't tell if anyone was inside.
I was just relieved they hadn't left without me.
I slid down the wall, my legs abruptly giving out. I couldn't go any further, I couldn't even crawl.
Ashlandil, I thought in panic. Where was he? I needed him!
I needed him so badly.
Please Ashlandil, I begged silently. Please find me. Please.
I closed my eyes with a sob.
I'd made it all the way here, but I was done.
Andiel.
At least he couldn't hate me if I was gone. I had come down here for him, but I had failed him. I had interrupted his human life and brought trouble with me.
He was in more danger because of me now then he had been before.
Misery.
That's all I could feel.
Andiel...

Notes