the things left behind

mirandas pov
i sit in the pak after breakfast with the boys, sipping on a coffee, while Cory plays with a little girl on the play ground
''what do you plan to do d?'' asked andy, also watching our son
''i havent gotten too far with things...'' i tell him '' im going into the hospital in three days, and all i knew was that cory had to be with someone i trusted. aka, you, and the gang''
''you scared?''
''yea... but mostly for him... i remember what loosing my mom felt like, i dont want him to go through all that... i want him to be better than i ever was...''
''sure miranda, you went a little off the rails, but you came out of all that stronger than you ever were''
''a little? you call fucking random guys, drinking, and having sex with my brother best friend, then running away little?''
''couldve been worse...''
''i guess...''
''im loosing my house in a month...''
''what?''
''i was gunna move in with juliet... but things went pretty bad...''
''just stay at my place. cory is comfotable there, plus his day care is around the corner, along with the park, and doctors. everything you need is walkable. ''
''okay... yea that sounds perfect...thank you''
''least i can do, youre taking care of my kid for me''
''our kid...'' he corrected
''right... sorry. never had to share him before...'' i smiled
''i get it. and dont worry miranda, he'll be okay, its not just me he has...''
''yea, he has all the things i left behind...god, how much i wished i stayed around... wouldve been so much easier, wish i told you the mnute i found out i was pregant... things wouldve been so much better for him to have that male figure around, and his daddy...''
''did he ever ask about me?''
''alot actually... i remember when he first came home from day care, they were drawing things about their families... he noticed that everybody had more than just a mom. they had siblings, and pets, and fathers, and grandparents. he asked where his daddy was, wheres my daddy... i didnt know what to say... how do you tell your two year old son that his dad didnt know he exsisted...''
''what did you tell him?''
''most honest answer i could give, i dont know.''
''have you ever just felt something? like some part of your being just knew?''
''yea... get it all the time when he's causing trouble. he is a trouble maker like you... i see a lot of you in him...''
''some part of me always felt like something was missing... i wasnt hapy for the longest time... i never really knew why... now ive figured it out...its so hard to believe that i could love someone so much without really knowing them, but yet, i do know them, if that makes sense...''
''it does. before i even held cory, when i first saw him innside my tummy, i loved him so much...''
''i wanna be mad at you, for keeping him away from me''
''you have every reason to be mad''
''i wish i was there for his birth, got to hold him, put him to sleep... was he a fat baby?''
''yup,, just like me, theres pictures on my phone if you wanna look... everything you'll ever wanna see is on that phone'' i pulled out my phone, punched 1122. scrolled through until i found the album filled my son. ''november 22...''
''i know''
''what?''
''i know thats his birthday''
''how?''
''sometimes you can feel things. on the day he was born, i was so restless, i knew there was some where else i hd to be, annd everyday since, im always so anxious, i always know that im in the wrong place at the wrong time...''
''mommy!'' cory cheered, running towards me wiith dandelions in his hands that were stained yellow from the pollin
''what is baby?'' i asked, dropping down to his level
''i picked you flowers, and got daddy leaves!'' he looked so proud of himmself for picking the weed
''awe, thank you, theyre so pretty. why dont you take daddy, to go find a wish?'' i said, reffering to the white puffy ones. he took andys hand in his, and ran off.

Notes

just a cute little filler between miranda and andy