Between The Roses

For most of my life I had despised hospitals. They were always too clean and too quiet. Whenever I went into one I was usually sick or had hurt myself, but this time it was completely different; I was neither sick nor hurt, I was in labor and it seriously sucked. The room that they had put me in was actually pretty nice. There were dark hard wood cabinets on the one wall and the hospital bed and machines on the other. They call the room ‘Birthing Suite One,’ so original. I was currently laying back on the bed already clad in a fantastic hospital gown with my arms covered in IV tubes and really annoying things that I didn’t understand. Andy and his parents were in the room with me. Well it was only Andy and Chris right now, Andy sent his mom off to call Lettie, Brett, and Lauren. I told him he could go do it, but he refused.

It had been about three hours since I got here and the pain just got worse. Dr. Parksley told me that I was 4 centimeters dilated and still had a long way to go, even though my water broke already. Of course my child decides to be stubborn and difficult. My eyes were closed and I had my arms laying at my sides limp while Andy sat in the chair beside the bed.

“Alright, Lettie and Brett are on their way up. Lauren said that she will be up in a few hours. But if things start progressing fast that we should call her again,” Amy walked back into the room and I opened my eyes.

“Gotcha,” I said and sighed. “I hate waiting.”

“We know,” Andy chuckled and I rolled over onto my side to face him.

“Now is not the time to mock me,” I told him and he smiled while raising one eyebrow.

“I think it’s a perfect time to mock you. You can’t attack me,” he answered and I rolled my eyes.

“I can always throw this remote at you,” I threatened and he laughed.

“Go ahead and try,” he was trying to provoke me. I raised my eyebrows and was about to actually throw the remote at him but then another contraction hit and immediately my eyes closed and I scrunched up my face.

“Breathe Sadee,” I heard Andy say quietly to me as he rubbed my arm. When the pain subsided and I was able to move, I opened my eyes and looked at Andy, who was staring intently at me.

“This really sucks,” I sighed and he nodded.

“I can only imagine,” he told me as he leaned his cheek on the railing of the bed. In that moment I forgot that Andy’s parents were there and it felt like it was just Andy and I. I was terrified. Most women are terrified when they first become moms but I was really terrified I never had a good role model for a mom and my older sister was a dud for so many years. I’ve read up on postpartum depression and it scared me that I might actually get that. I’ve dealt with depression most of my life and I didn’t want to have to deal with it again.

“What are you thinking about?” I heard Andy ask and I sighed.

“Nothing really,” I answered and sighed again. “Why does our child have to be stubborn even though he isn’t born yet?”

“He’s our child, that’s why,” Andy chuckled and I rolled my eyes again. From the door to the room I heard someone walk in and walk up to the computer beside me. It is either a nurse or Dr. Parksley.

“How are we feeling Sadee?” I heard Dr. Parksley ask.

“Like I’m going to have to push a baby out of me sometime soon,” I told her and she chuckled.

“Well that isn’t false. Please lay on your back so I can check your progress,” she instructed me and I listened. While I laid there, exposed to whoever walked in, I prayed that I wouldn’t have another contraction. When I do get one, all I want to do is curl into a fetal position and cry. As the doctor finished checking things out, she looked up at me.

“Okay, you are at roughly 6 centimeters. You are getting closer, but there is still some time to go. I would love it if you went for a walk around the halls, but it is up to you,” she told me before grabbing her things and leaving. I narrowed my eyes at her as she left before rolling back over onto my side. There is no way I am walking around. Not if I’m in as much pain as I am.

“What’s with the narrowing of the eyes at the doctor?” Andy chuckled and I looked at him.

“No reason. I get irritated and moody when I’m in pain, you know this,” I said and he shrugged.

“Knock, knock,” I heard from behind my and recognized the voice as Lettie’s.

“Come on in,” I said and the two walked into the room and set their things down on the table.

“How are you doing?” Lettie asked.

“Pain, there is a lot of pain,” I sighed and she nodded. Then, with the most impeccable timing, a contraction hit and I scrunched up my face. This time, though, the pain seemed worse and I could feel tears falling from my eyes. As the pain subsided, I opened my eyes and rubbed my face.

“I really don’t want to do this anymore,” I muttered mainly to myself but Andy must have heard because he leaned over and kissed my forehead.

“How far along are you?” Lettie asked and I sighed.

“Six centimeters,” I answered and she nodded.

“So not much longer, hopefully,” she smiled and I shrugged. The room then grew quiet. Not only was it because another contraction hit, but because it was also almost midnight.

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Two Hours Later
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With every contraction, the pain got worse. So bad at one point that I was full on bawling my eyes out and had to have Andy hold me so I didn’t fall apart. Currently I was curled into a ball on my side with my hands gripping the railing on the bed for dear life. After my crying fit I had, I told Andy to not touch me, that if he did I would kill him. He knows I was kidding, but the threat was still there. Dr. Parksley had been in a few times and each time she said that I was further along but not quite ready yet.

A sigh left my mouth as the contraction ended. Andy had left for a bit, to eat or whatever, and had called my sister to let her know that it was most likely almost time for everything to get going. Lettie had replaced Andy and was rubbing my hand gently. The door to the room opened and in walked the doctor followed my Andy.

“Okay Sadee, I can see you are uncomfortable. But I am here to see if it is time yet,” she said before I rolled onto my back so she could check. She nodded as she checked and then looked up at me.

“Okay you are ten centimeters, but there might still be a little bit of waiting left. I will get the delivery team all ready though. It’s almost time Sadee,” she reassured me before walking out of the room. I groaned loudly after she left.

“Please tell me I didn’t miss it,” I heard my sister’s voice and looked at her.

“Nope,” Brett answered for me and I mentally applauded him. Then, out of nowhere, I got this really intense, pressure filled pain that would not stop and I had the urge to push. Oh no, this must be it. But Dr. Parksley isn’t in here and I was freaking out. I then began to groan and saw ow quite often. Dr. Parksley walked back into the room with a team of like five people.

“How are we feeling now Sadee?” She asked.

“I feel like I need to push,” I told her and she nodded. Then everything moved quickly but slowly at the same time. I was repositioned so that my legs were in the stirrups and Dr. Parksley was in position. Then everything slowed down. I pushed, but ten seconds seemed like a minute. As I pushed, it felt like my insides were being torn into pieces. Andy held my hand and I occasionally shoved my head into his arm.

“Okay Sadee, one more push and you’ll be done,” I heard and then, from somewhere deep within the very exhausted me, came this powerful push and the second I began to push the pain paused and was gone. Immediately after that I felt something being set on my chest. I blinked a few times and realized it was my child, who was out of me and on my chest. Then the tears came, in huge waves. I wrapped my shaky arms around him and kissed his head. He had really fine light brown hair on his head and I could definitely see Andy in his scrunched up cry face. Then, too soon, the nurses took him from my chest and I felt the really intense urge to hurt someone. Andy hugged me and kissed the top of my head. I couldn’t hear anything in the room, my only care was my son who wasn’t with me but rather on the other side of the room.

As everything was being cleaned up and I was finished with the labor and birth part, I watched the nurses intently, making sure they didn’t fuck anything up. Roughly ten minutes later, after my bedding had miraculously been changed and I was covered in a new blanket and things were cleaned up, I watched as the nurse carried a blue bundle over to me and set the bundle in my arms. Amongst the blankets, which were really soft, was my son who was now sound asleep. I just stared at him, not caring about anyone else in the room. I could hear them, but I didn’t care. My son was in my arms and he was here now.

“Sadee, look up at me,” I heard and when I looked up, I saw my sister holding her phone up to take a picture. Andy had his arm wrapped around me, I realized. After Lauren took the picture. I went back to looking at the life I had created. He had my nose and lips, but I could see Andy in him and that just made me so happy. It then clicked in my head that Andy probably wants to hold his son. I turned my head to look at him and saw he had tears in his eyes as he looked at the baby.

“Do you want to hold him?” I asked him in a voice that was just above a whisper.

“Yeah,” he nodded before sitting on the chair beside me and I looked over at Lauren.

“Can you help me please?” I asked and she walked over and raised her eyebrows.

“What do you want me to do?” She asked.

“Can you carefully hand him over to Andy?” I asked and she nodded before pulling the baby from my arms and handing him to Andy. When I got sight of Andy holding him, I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

“Oh Andy,” I heard Amy say and I looked over at her. Her hand was over her mouth and Chris had his arm around her waist.

“So Sadee, what did you guys decide to name him?” Brett asked. I looked over at Andy and the baby before answering.

“Lincoln Charles Christopher Biersack,” I said aloud. About a week ago, Andy came to me and suggested we add Charlie’s full first name to his name in honor of him. I cried when he suggested it but agreed. Welcome to the world Lincoln, I promise to always take care of you.

Notes

And she gave birth! I was going back and forth in my head about whether I wanted to write out the labor and delivery but decided not to since I have never had a child so I don't actually know what happens in that moment. But I did my best and I hope you liked it!

And I am in love with the baby's name: Lincoln Charles Christopher Biersack. Adding Charlie's name to the middle names was an after thought I had while writing the chapter. It was originally going to be just Christopher as the middle name.

But yes, I hope you liked it! And no, this story is not over, I am still writing, and have quite a bit still planned. So, look out for more chapters!

Peace <3