Little Miss Suicide

I stood there, completely numb, for what felt like hours.

"Alex!? Alex, please talk to me."

I couldn't move. I was so damn shocked. Thousands of thoughts were racing through my mind, and I had no idea what to do.

"Alex.... Please. Just please, talk to me."

The tone of his voice seemed to snap me out of it. He sounded really worried. I picked up the phone slowly, then took a deep breath.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I said, almost whispering.

"I didn't want you to freak out, Alex. By the time I realized you knew about me we were already such great friends and I didn't want to ruin that connection," He mumbled, sounding kind of sad.

"So what you're telling me is that you've been my saviour in more ways than just one?" I said, tears starting to fill my eyes.

"What do you mean?" He asked, obviously having no clue.

I explained to him about my suicidal thoughts and self-harming issues, and about how his support and his music kept me from killing myself so many times. Tears started running down my cheeks. He must've heard me sniffling, because suddenly he spoke, sounding very worried.

"No no no, please Alex, don't cry...."

Him saying that just set me off, and I broke out into full-blown sobs. I couldn't stop myself. I didn't know why I was crying, but the tears just kept coming. I was about to hang up, thinking he wouldn't want to hear me blubbering like a baby, but then I heard his voice. He was starting to sing, very softly. I put the phone up to my ear and his voice immediately seemed to calm me down.

"I never meant to be the one who kept you from the dark.
But now I know my wounds are sown because of who you are.
I will take this burden on and become the holy one.
But remember I am human and I am bound to sing this song.

So hear my voice.
Reminds you not to bleed.
I am here.

Savior! will be there.
When you are feeling alone. ohhh.
A savior for all that you do.
So you live freely without their harm

So here I write my lullaby.
To all the lonely ones.
Remember as you learn to try to be the one you love.
So I can take this pen and teach you how to live.
But what is left unsaid, the greatest gift I gave.

So hear my voice.
Reminds you not to bleed.
I am here.

Savior! will be there.
When you are feeling alone. ohhh.
A savior for all that you do.
So you live freely without their harm

Savior! will be there.
When you are feeling alone. ohhh.
A savior for all that you do.
So you live freely without their harm

When I hear your cries.
Praying for life.
I will be there.

When I hear your cries.
Praying for life.
I will be there."

He ended the song there, sending chills throughout my body. He sang the song so perfectly, even without the instruments in the background. I hadn't realized it, but somehow, I'd totally stopped crying.

"A-Andy?" I said softly.

"Yes, Alex?" He asked.

"Thank you."

He chuckled. "It's no problem at all, beautiful." His words gave me chills. I was used to him calling me that when texting, but hearing his voice say it was just... totally different. I smiled.

"Well. Now that you're all cheered up, it's your turn. You promised me, after all," He said. I could practically hear his smile.

"B-But I don't even know what I'd sing..." I said shyly.

"Hmm.... why not your favorite song, Set The World On Fire?" He said sounding excited.

"You remembered that?!?!" I was pretty shocked.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Andy chuckled.

I sighed. "Alright... just... don't say I didn't warn you about my horrible voice" I mumbled. Then I took yet another deep breath.

"Saints born together to fight against their holy fables
The streets are where we pray
Hymns for the lonely, wretched and forgotten
The feeling in our hearts won't ever fade away"

I was singing pretty quietly, nervous as hell. I mean, I was signing to the very CREATOR of this song, why wouldn't I be scared?

"We stand tall
Watch them fall
Break the chains and now we'll show them all

Fight for all you know
When your backs against the wall
Stand against the liars
Stronger than before
When your life becomes a war
Set the world on fire"

At this point I was really getting into it. This part of the song always made me feel better with the powerful lyrics. Before I knew it, I was singing like I usually did, at full passion.

"Sing out united against the ones you left in hatred
Our message of today
Like children crying when all they knew was dying
And we will raise our flags up
It's time for them to pay

We stand tall
Watch them fall
Break the chains and now we'll show them all

Fight for all you know
When your backs against the wall
Stand against the liars
Stronger than before
When your life becomes a war
Set the world on fire

Woahh ohhh
So sing it loud you hold the key
We're the rebels and we're free
Woahh ohhh
It's time to burn all that you see
Now the world belongs to me

Fight for all you know
When your backs against the wall
Stand against the liars
Stronger than before
When your life becomes a war
Set the world on fire

Proud in all you are
Showing every scar
As your badge of honor
When you can't take anymore
Of what they're living for
Set the world on fire"

Everything was silent as I ended the song. I stood there for a while catching my breath. Andy still hadn't said anything. I was worried. What if he hated it? What if my voice was so horrible he hung up? What if I sung the lyrics totally wrong?

"Um..." I said softly.

"That... was fucking... AMAZING!!!" Andy yelled, almost making me deaf with how loudly he yelled in my ear.

"R-Really?" I said shyly.

"Yes. I was right. That was the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard." He said.

I smiled widely. Andy Biersack thought I was a good signer!! Wow! But that didn't shock me nearly as much as his next question.

"Hey Alex, we're actually in your city right now and I was wondering... could I maybe have your address so we can hang out sometime soon? I really want to see you in real life." He sounded really nervous. Andy Biersack, nervous? Hah, as if.

"Um... Sure." I texted him my adress.

"Thank you." He said

We spent the next few minutes talking. I heard the front door of my house open and close. My parents were probably home. I just ignored it and kept talking. Then I heard Andy yell at someone else from the other end of the phone.

"Hey Ashley, come listen to this girl sing!!" He shouted.

I laughed. What, now he wants to show me off to his friends? There was NO WAY my voice was that good. Andy begged me to sing again and I agreed, this time singing Knives and Pens. I heard a whistle and knew it was Ashley. Guess he was impressed, too. I got to about the middle of the song when I heard my door get shoved open violently.

"THE FUCK DID I SAY ABOUT SINGING IN MY HOUSE!?!?"

It was my dad. He was obviously drunk out of his fucking mind and was slurring his words, but I understood every little thing he said. He stomped into my room, rather pissed. I was scared, I've never seen him drunk and this was totally new for me.

"YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO BE A SINGER, WHY DON'T YOU GET IT, YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE SHIT?!?! I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU FUCKING PAY FOR ALL OUR YEARS TRYING TO RAISE YOU RIGHT, WASTED!!!"

He swung at me and I swiftly dodged his fist, dropping my phone.

"Daddy, please don't!" I screamed.

Next thing I knew, his hand was around my neck, pinning me against a wall. He was squeezing so hard I couldn't breathe, and my vision was already getting kind of fuzzy. He punched me a couple times, calling me things like a bitch and a whore and worthless. He threw me to the ground, allowing me to get a tiny breath of air, but then kicked me in the stomach, knocking it all out of me. He sat on top of me and started choking me again. Everything was slowly fading to black. Tears ran down my cheeks and I tried to push him off me, but it was no use. The last thing I remember was feeling him being slammed into the wall next to us before I passed out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I groaned and opened my eyes. There were a pair of sparkling blue ones staring right back at me. Was I dreaming?

"Oh my god, you're awake!" He said, pulling me into a really tight hug. I felt something wet hit my shoulder. Was he crying? I looked over his shoulder to see Ashley, arms crossed, sitting on top of my dad, who was knocked the fuck out.

"I don't think he'll be up till his hangover's started, so we're probably cool," He said, giving me a thumbs up.

Andy grabbed my shoulders and stared into my eyes.

"Please tell me you're alright," He said.

The second my eyes met his beautiful blue gems, I started sobbing. I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't stop. He hugged me tight to him, laying my head on his chest.

"Shh, it's alright Alex, I've got you. You're safe. I won't ever let him hurt you again," He said softly.

"Thank you..." I said in between sobs. "Thank you, Andy, for always being my saviour."

Notes

So yeah, that just happened. Long chapter, not nearly as good as when I wrote it the first time, but my internet messed up my first copy like a douche. Hope you guys still love it!