I'm a Loaded Gun
We Stitch These Wounds
Reyas POV
My week off flew by way too fast. I was constantly texting Andy, only pausing when he had interviews, meetings, or of course when we slept. He kept me calm, and even though I had a few occasional moments, my nightmares stopped, and I didn't have another panic attack. Siren came over and helped me to rid my room of anything and everything that was from or related to Seth. It hurt, seeing all of the old memories, but there's was absolutely no sense in me keeping it or continuing in my routine of masochism. I boxed up the jewelry, stuffed animals, pictures, and clothes he had bought me. I was happy to see the preppy clothes I hated gone. I boxed up just about every item of Hollister or AE clothing I owned, except for my colored shorts, a few dress shirts, and my solid, no label, hoodies. Half of my closet was missing. I was...happy it was gone...I had never felt like myself wearing it. I did it to please Seth and my parents. Siren gave me some of her band shirts and pants/shorts that she couldn't wear. Siren had a much bigger chest than me, and she actually had hips. It's kind of sad when I at 17 can fit in the clothes Siren had at 14.
"Hey Siren?"
"Yeah?" she replyied from across the room. She was closing the last box of crap from Seth.
"Thank you...for everything. Do you think you could...um...help me with something?" I asked hesitantly.
"Whaaaat?" she stood up and gave me the look. She was wondering what I was up to.
"Well... I was uh -thinking about doing something..."
"Hmmm, are you thinking about finally doing something to your hair?" she had a devious grin.
"Yeah...I want to put some color in the bottom of my hair."
"Oooooooo!" she squealed. "Let me! Let me! I have SOO many ideas! PleasePleasePlease!!!" she begged. Oh god what was I getting myself in to. I could end up with hello kitty pink hair.
"Oh fine, but JUST the bottoms!"
She squeaked again and grabbed my wrist. She dragged me to my bathroom and ran her fingers through my hair. I heard a door open. "Shit, Siren my parents are home. And all the dye is at your house still. Tomorrow when they go to work we will do it at your house." she agreed and we went back to shove the now filled boxes under my bed so I never had to look at them again. I sat back down on the bed. Tomorrow was Monday. We had to go back to school on Tuesday. I signed. "Siren...I don't know what to do."
"About what sweetie?"
I sank down to the floor beside my bed. I looked at her through my outrageously long bangs with my head down. "Siren, what am I going to do. I can't hide all of these bruises. I can wear jeans for the ones on my thighs, but how can I hide these all over my arms? It's way too hot for long sleeves and even if I tried cover up, it would sweat off by fifth hour, it would never last till eighth hour advisory period. And...I can't cover these on my neck, I can't keep my hair down everyday. It'd get too not, the jeans alone with be enough to make me overheated. My god...what the hell am I going to do?" I pulled my knees up and buried my face in my hands.
"Hey...Reya, don't cry. I'm here. Well hey, you know what? I dyed my hair, let's do yours too. We will dress you up, and we will make you so beautiful that no one will even see those bruises. They will be too busy seeing how beautiful you are." She hugged me as gently as possible. "I'm sorry girl. I've gotta go, my dads calling. I'll see you tomorrow, come over whenever you want." She got up and left. This was going to be awhile...
___________________________________________
The next morning I woke up around ten, took my medication, and headed over to Sirens. I really wasn't supposed to be driving, but I made it there with no problems. I went straight to her room since her parents were never home. She was sitting at her desk, and she swiveled around, looking at me like predator and prey. I saw a bunch of hair color jars on her vanity desk. She also had out her straightener, curler, and a bunch of her beauty scissors. She cut and styled her hair all the time. I trusted her. "Step into my office." she said walking to her private bathroom. She washed my hair in her sink and wrapped a towel around it, dragging me to her vanity chair. "OK, you have to keep your eyes closed. Promise?" I held up my pinky and she shook it. I felt her running her comb through my hair and heard a jar of color open, and then another, and other....oh good lord.
"How many colors are you putting in my hair?" I demanded.
"Oh you will see, you will LOVE it." she clipped up some parts of it, I'm guessing separating the colors. She finally out a shower cap over it. "OK now we let that dry for a bit, and we will wash it out. Now I'm going to do your nails!!" I groaned. I had nice nails, I just never painted them. I was horrible at painting my nails. She filed my nails and painted the tips blood red. She put a black line separating the tip and natural colored nail and somehow made it look like I had a little black bow on the tip line. She clear coated them as the timer on the desk went off. "OOOH time for the color!!!" she dragged me again to the bathroom and pulled out the clips and little buns she made. She rinsed my hair and dragged me back to the chair. I couldn't make out the colors since she had it covered with a towel and made me close my eyes again. She started styling my hair with a comb and then put most of it on the top of my head pinned in a bun. She got out her scissors and I was terrified when I heard her cutting. I loved my long hair, and I would hate to see it gone. But I was relieved when I felt her pull it down to the middle of my ribs. She took another twenty minutes to cut it and then she blow dried it and did some weird stuff to it with the irons. "OK, don't open your eyes just yet, I want to do your make up for the full effect. She rubbed brushes over my eyes, cheeks, lips, and nose. "OK. And....voila!"
I sucked in a deep breath and almost jumped when I saw myself in the mirror. My once crazy, long, curly, reddish brown hair that I'd never died once, was completely different. It was still very long, but I had scene bangs, and the edges of my bangs and the front of my hair had fire red on the tips of the layering, and it faded down the front to the bottom of the bags layers. And then the tips of my longest layer had fire red on the tips. I also had streaks of blondes randomly intermittent. It was...amazing. My thick hair was straight and thinned and layered. My eyes popped with the grey and brown eyeshadow around them. It was...the best. I (as fast as possible with my ribs) jumped up and hugged Siren. I felt beautiful and revived. I'd never colored my hair or experimented with cutting or styling it. I don't think anyone would recognize me at school. Good. I stayed with Siren until four, since my dad would be home around five thirty. I said goodbye and went home. I pulled my bangs back into a headband so they couldn't see the color, and put my hair in a bun so the bottoms were buried in the rest of my hair and unseen. My parents came home and commented on how pretty I looked. They asked me if I was ready for school tomorrow, since the school resumed from break. I said I was ready, and hesitated to tell them about the tour offer.
"So...um. I heard some news today." I said quietly. I waited to see their reactions.
"What's that honey?" my dad said with a mouthful of spaghetti.
"Well...one of the tour managers and produces from the festival called. And he was very impressed with the performance my band gave at the grounds."
"Congrats sweetheart," my mom said. She didn't look too enthused.
"He said that the-um- the other producers want to hear our band...and that they wanted to offer us a deal."
"What kind of deal?" my dad layed down his fork. Oh god.
"A touring and EP contract," I said very quietly.
"A what?"
"Touring and EP contract. They loved some of our music. They want to take us in a studio to record some songs with us. They also want us to go on a test tour with one of their bands for a month. Then they will decide to sign us or not."
"And when are you supposed to do this?" Oh god she didn't sound happy about this.
"They want us to go to St. Louis next week to meet back up with the manager we worked with, and then follow the band they assign us to on a few shows around Illinois, Missouri, Wisconsin, Kentucky, Indiana, and ending in Ohio. I'd be gone for the last the weeks of school."
"And are you just dropping out?" she almost yelled.
"No...I already took my senior finals last week, and the rest of the classes are just for juniors to study for finals. We have the rest of this week and anything extra I can do online."
"You are too young to do this." she said.
"Mom, I'm going to be 18 in two weeks. I can handle my work and this."
"Are you not going to college either in the fall so you can run around and play rockstar? You think you can-"
"Mom, I need to get out of here! You seriously think I can just stay around here? You think I want to walk these halls for the next month sitting in class with Seth almost every single hour and walk to classes near him? I don't want to be here. It hurts."
"You can't just run away from your problems! I know it was bad but you need to face it and deal with it." she said.
My dad out his hand over hers. "Let us talk about this for a bit Reyalie." Yes, my real name is Reyalie (Ray-a-lee).
I got up and rinsed my plate off and went to my room. I pulled out my phone and texted Andy.
You: I told my mom about the tour...not good.
Andy: uh oh. What happened?
You: she thinks I'm dropping out of school and I'm running away from my fears of Seth
Andy: I'm sorry. I hope everything works out. I really want to hang out with you again.
You: I wish you could come here, but I have school tomorrow. :( blahh
Andy: cherry up Reya :)
Andy: *cheer up. Fucking auto carrot
Andy: *AUTOCORRECT damn smit
Andy: I give up.
You: It hilarious watching you struggle (: but it made me laugh
Andy: well good :P
You: It's almost nine and I still have to pack my stuff for school tomorrow. :(( I'm just trying to figure this out, I'm gonna build up the walls. I wish you could come and save me now
Andy: me too. We have meetings most of tomorrow. We are talking with a producer for our next album. ;D
You: congrats Andy!!!! *hugs*
Andy: *hugs back and swings you around room while running away with you over shoulder*
You: someone forgot I have broken ribs :p
Andy: fine *picks you up in arms and runs away while hystarically laughing*
You: As long as you don't drop me or give me to Ashley ;)
Andy: oh god he won't fucking shut up about your friend siren.
You: oh really? ;D
Andy: he thinks she's really hot. He won't shut up about her. Appearntly she's an amazing kisser, and that's pretty fucking amazing becausesAshley's kissed millions of girls.
You: shes a freaking genius. I'd be lost without that girl
Andy: she seems pretty cool. I miss hanging out with you two crazy people
You: I miss you too. Well. I must be off to bed :( its 10 and I have to take that stupid sleeping medicine, so I'm guaranteed asleep in like ten minutes.
Andy: Goodnight Reya. Sweet dreams xx
You: I can't dream with this stuff c: but thanks. Goodnight Andy
I put my phone under my pillow and swallowed the tiny yellow pill. I curled up in need and realized it felt kind of empty. My bed was much bigger than th bus bunks, but I still felt like it was too big for me. I curled my arms around a pillow and was able to finally sleep.
My week off flew by way too fast. I was constantly texting Andy, only pausing when he had interviews, meetings, or of course when we slept. He kept me calm, and even though I had a few occasional moments, my nightmares stopped, and I didn't have another panic attack. Siren came over and helped me to rid my room of anything and everything that was from or related to Seth. It hurt, seeing all of the old memories, but there's was absolutely no sense in me keeping it or continuing in my routine of masochism. I boxed up the jewelry, stuffed animals, pictures, and clothes he had bought me. I was happy to see the preppy clothes I hated gone. I boxed up just about every item of Hollister or AE clothing I owned, except for my colored shorts, a few dress shirts, and my solid, no label, hoodies. Half of my closet was missing. I was...happy it was gone...I had never felt like myself wearing it. I did it to please Seth and my parents. Siren gave me some of her band shirts and pants/shorts that she couldn't wear. Siren had a much bigger chest than me, and she actually had hips. It's kind of sad when I at 17 can fit in the clothes Siren had at 14.
"Hey Siren?"
"Yeah?" she replyied from across the room. She was closing the last box of crap from Seth.
"Thank you...for everything. Do you think you could...um...help me with something?" I asked hesitantly.
"Whaaaat?" she stood up and gave me the look. She was wondering what I was up to.
"Well... I was uh -thinking about doing something..."
"Hmmm, are you thinking about finally doing something to your hair?" she had a devious grin.
"Yeah...I want to put some color in the bottom of my hair."
"Oooooooo!" she squealed. "Let me! Let me! I have SOO many ideas! PleasePleasePlease!!!" she begged. Oh god what was I getting myself in to. I could end up with hello kitty pink hair.
"Oh fine, but JUST the bottoms!"
She squeaked again and grabbed my wrist. She dragged me to my bathroom and ran her fingers through my hair. I heard a door open. "Shit, Siren my parents are home. And all the dye is at your house still. Tomorrow when they go to work we will do it at your house." she agreed and we went back to shove the now filled boxes under my bed so I never had to look at them again. I sat back down on the bed. Tomorrow was Monday. We had to go back to school on Tuesday. I signed. "Siren...I don't know what to do."
"About what sweetie?"
I sank down to the floor beside my bed. I looked at her through my outrageously long bangs with my head down. "Siren, what am I going to do. I can't hide all of these bruises. I can wear jeans for the ones on my thighs, but how can I hide these all over my arms? It's way too hot for long sleeves and even if I tried cover up, it would sweat off by fifth hour, it would never last till eighth hour advisory period. And...I can't cover these on my neck, I can't keep my hair down everyday. It'd get too not, the jeans alone with be enough to make me overheated. My god...what the hell am I going to do?" I pulled my knees up and buried my face in my hands.
"Hey...Reya, don't cry. I'm here. Well hey, you know what? I dyed my hair, let's do yours too. We will dress you up, and we will make you so beautiful that no one will even see those bruises. They will be too busy seeing how beautiful you are." She hugged me as gently as possible. "I'm sorry girl. I've gotta go, my dads calling. I'll see you tomorrow, come over whenever you want." She got up and left. This was going to be awhile...
___________________________________________
The next morning I woke up around ten, took my medication, and headed over to Sirens. I really wasn't supposed to be driving, but I made it there with no problems. I went straight to her room since her parents were never home. She was sitting at her desk, and she swiveled around, looking at me like predator and prey. I saw a bunch of hair color jars on her vanity desk. She also had out her straightener, curler, and a bunch of her beauty scissors. She cut and styled her hair all the time. I trusted her. "Step into my office." she said walking to her private bathroom. She washed my hair in her sink and wrapped a towel around it, dragging me to her vanity chair. "OK, you have to keep your eyes closed. Promise?" I held up my pinky and she shook it. I felt her running her comb through my hair and heard a jar of color open, and then another, and other....oh good lord.
"How many colors are you putting in my hair?" I demanded.
"Oh you will see, you will LOVE it." she clipped up some parts of it, I'm guessing separating the colors. She finally out a shower cap over it. "OK now we let that dry for a bit, and we will wash it out. Now I'm going to do your nails!!" I groaned. I had nice nails, I just never painted them. I was horrible at painting my nails. She filed my nails and painted the tips blood red. She put a black line separating the tip and natural colored nail and somehow made it look like I had a little black bow on the tip line. She clear coated them as the timer on the desk went off. "OOOH time for the color!!!" she dragged me again to the bathroom and pulled out the clips and little buns she made. She rinsed my hair and dragged me back to the chair. I couldn't make out the colors since she had it covered with a towel and made me close my eyes again. She started styling my hair with a comb and then put most of it on the top of my head pinned in a bun. She got out her scissors and I was terrified when I heard her cutting. I loved my long hair, and I would hate to see it gone. But I was relieved when I felt her pull it down to the middle of my ribs. She took another twenty minutes to cut it and then she blow dried it and did some weird stuff to it with the irons. "OK, don't open your eyes just yet, I want to do your make up for the full effect. She rubbed brushes over my eyes, cheeks, lips, and nose. "OK. And....voila!"
I sucked in a deep breath and almost jumped when I saw myself in the mirror. My once crazy, long, curly, reddish brown hair that I'd never died once, was completely different. It was still very long, but I had scene bangs, and the edges of my bangs and the front of my hair had fire red on the tips of the layering, and it faded down the front to the bottom of the bags layers. And then the tips of my longest layer had fire red on the tips. I also had streaks of blondes randomly intermittent. It was...amazing. My thick hair was straight and thinned and layered. My eyes popped with the grey and brown eyeshadow around them. It was...the best. I (as fast as possible with my ribs) jumped up and hugged Siren. I felt beautiful and revived. I'd never colored my hair or experimented with cutting or styling it. I don't think anyone would recognize me at school. Good. I stayed with Siren until four, since my dad would be home around five thirty. I said goodbye and went home. I pulled my bangs back into a headband so they couldn't see the color, and put my hair in a bun so the bottoms were buried in the rest of my hair and unseen. My parents came home and commented on how pretty I looked. They asked me if I was ready for school tomorrow, since the school resumed from break. I said I was ready, and hesitated to tell them about the tour offer.
"So...um. I heard some news today." I said quietly. I waited to see their reactions.
"What's that honey?" my dad said with a mouthful of spaghetti.
"Well...one of the tour managers and produces from the festival called. And he was very impressed with the performance my band gave at the grounds."
"Congrats sweetheart," my mom said. She didn't look too enthused.
"He said that the-um- the other producers want to hear our band...and that they wanted to offer us a deal."
"What kind of deal?" my dad layed down his fork. Oh god.
"A touring and EP contract," I said very quietly.
"A what?"
"Touring and EP contract. They loved some of our music. They want to take us in a studio to record some songs with us. They also want us to go on a test tour with one of their bands for a month. Then they will decide to sign us or not."
"And when are you supposed to do this?" Oh god she didn't sound happy about this.
"They want us to go to St. Louis next week to meet back up with the manager we worked with, and then follow the band they assign us to on a few shows around Illinois, Missouri, Wisconsin, Kentucky, Indiana, and ending in Ohio. I'd be gone for the last the weeks of school."
"And are you just dropping out?" she almost yelled.
"No...I already took my senior finals last week, and the rest of the classes are just for juniors to study for finals. We have the rest of this week and anything extra I can do online."
"You are too young to do this." she said.
"Mom, I'm going to be 18 in two weeks. I can handle my work and this."
"Are you not going to college either in the fall so you can run around and play rockstar? You think you can-"
"Mom, I need to get out of here! You seriously think I can just stay around here? You think I want to walk these halls for the next month sitting in class with Seth almost every single hour and walk to classes near him? I don't want to be here. It hurts."
"You can't just run away from your problems! I know it was bad but you need to face it and deal with it." she said.
My dad out his hand over hers. "Let us talk about this for a bit Reyalie." Yes, my real name is Reyalie (Ray-a-lee).
I got up and rinsed my plate off and went to my room. I pulled out my phone and texted Andy.
You: I told my mom about the tour...not good.
Andy: uh oh. What happened?
You: she thinks I'm dropping out of school and I'm running away from my fears of Seth
Andy: I'm sorry. I hope everything works out. I really want to hang out with you again.
You: I wish you could come here, but I have school tomorrow. :( blahh
Andy: cherry up Reya :)
Andy: *cheer up. Fucking auto carrot
Andy: *AUTOCORRECT damn smit
Andy: I give up.
You: It hilarious watching you struggle (: but it made me laugh
Andy: well good :P
You: It's almost nine and I still have to pack my stuff for school tomorrow. :(( I'm just trying to figure this out, I'm gonna build up the walls. I wish you could come and save me now
Andy: me too. We have meetings most of tomorrow. We are talking with a producer for our next album. ;D
You: congrats Andy!!!! *hugs*
Andy: *hugs back and swings you around room while running away with you over shoulder*
You: someone forgot I have broken ribs :p
Andy: fine *picks you up in arms and runs away while hystarically laughing*
You: As long as you don't drop me or give me to Ashley ;)
Andy: oh god he won't fucking shut up about your friend siren.
You: oh really? ;D
Andy: he thinks she's really hot. He won't shut up about her. Appearntly she's an amazing kisser, and that's pretty fucking amazing becausesAshley's kissed millions of girls.
You: shes a freaking genius. I'd be lost without that girl
Andy: she seems pretty cool. I miss hanging out with you two crazy people
You: I miss you too. Well. I must be off to bed :( its 10 and I have to take that stupid sleeping medicine, so I'm guaranteed asleep in like ten minutes.
Andy: Goodnight Reya. Sweet dreams xx
You: I can't dream with this stuff c: but thanks. Goodnight Andy
I put my phone under my pillow and swallowed the tiny yellow pill. I curled up in need and realized it felt kind of empty. My bed was much bigger than th bus bunks, but I still felt like it was too big for me. I curled my arms around a pillow and was able to finally sleep.
Go till you have no more and then make that the end please dont make a sequel
8/27/15