I'm a Loaded Gun

My heart was pounding, my throat tightening, my head spinning.

"Reya?" I heard through the phone. I don't know what to do! How do I stop this?! "Reya, just breathe. Take a deep breath. Can you hear me?...Reya? Reya?" I pulled in a deep breath and held it for a moment and slowly released it. I already felt more calm. My hands were still shaking. "Reya, it's OK. I'm here, just calm down. Are you hurt?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and managed to choke out, "No."

"Will you explain to me why you are crying?" he said softly. I didn't even realize I was crying. Tears were burning down my face and neck, and I was sniffling. "I'm here, Reya."

"I...woke up in my room. And-and I was looking around when....when I saw...the frame."

"What frame Reya?" his voice was so calming.

"The picture frame...with...with Seth." I said through the sniffles.

"What did you do to the frame?"

"I...I broke it. It's g-gone."

"Did you hurt yourself? Are you OK?"

"I'm fine. I just panicked."

"Are you OK now?"

"I think. I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to do."

"Its fine. I'm glad you called me." Andy was very quiet. I hope I hadn't woken him, but he didn't sound like he had slept, he sounded like he was stressed out.

"Are you ok Andy?" I asked.

"I'm alright."

"You sound like something's wrong."

"It's fine Reya. I'm just...exhausted. I'm just really tired."

"I'll let you sleep then," I said.

"No it's fine. I'm too awake, unless you need to go to sleep."

"Noo, I'm fine. Just let me get back in bed." I delicately moved myself back into my bed. I couldn't help but hiss as my ribs settled onto the bed. I was still extremely sore. Andy stayed in the phone with me till around 2am. But slowly I rested my head on the pillow and pulled over my blankets. Andy's voice began to slowly fade.

Andys POV
I became extremely worried when her number came up on my caller ID. Instantly, my mind raced through all of the horrible possibilities of problems she could have happen. I was even more concerned when I answered and all I held was her gasping for breath. She was panicked. I talked as gently as possible, trying to assure her she was safe. Did she have another nightmare? Was she in pain? I heard the gasping break to sobs. She finally explained that she had seen her memories of Seth and destroyed them. At least she didn't have glass in her skin or cuts in her wrists. I longed to comfort her, hold her in my arms again. I would brush back her long coppery hair and look into her green eyes, assuring her that I would never let him touch her again. Would she live the rest of her life in terror? How could she ever feel safe again? If her parents don't allow her to tour, how will she have any protection from Seth? Her parents don't know what happened to her and I severely doubt she will ever tell them. She would be the walking shell, attempting to seem unbroken, unshattered. But in reality she hides her hollowness, making all surrounding her assume she is whole and filled. Will she lie awake in the night dreading the terrors that haunt her once pleasant dreams? I stayed on the phone with her, distracting her from the rapid thoughts that must be aching in her head. I told her about my band when I was fifteen. I told her about how I struggled to get to LA to make my music dreams, the line became silent. I could hear her gentle breath over the phone, she was asleep. I smiled at the thought of her curled up on her bed, blank expressions on her face, and her bangs slowly falling over her closed eyes.

I remember a few nights ago, she was terrified to sleep alone, asking me to stay with her for the night. I changed and returned to my room where she was resting on my bed. I turned down the lights and laid against the wall, giving her most of the bed. When she drifted off, she rolled over, her body was right up against mine. She let out a very small mumbled moan, like a little kid waking up from a nap. She wrapped an arm around me and snuggled ino my chest. I couldn't bare the move her since she was so happy looking. I put my hands behind my head and fell asleep with her on my side. When I woke she was in the same place and in my sleep I had wrapped my arms around her. I never let girls sleep in my bed. Ashley and I had made a deal when we started the band that no girls stayed in our rooms. We had a few fun times in there, but no girl stayed the night unless she was a serious girlfriend. We let Jinxx and Sammi stay, but that's because I knew Jinxx was very serious about Sammi, I'd never seen him so happy. They were like the halves of one heart, operating independently, but not efficient until they were working together. I have to admit, I was quite jealous at times. I honestly thought that I had found love with Scout, a high school sweetheart, but I left high school. It was my dreams or stay with her. She's moved on. I've tried to find anything like what I had with her, but never found it. I've been with plenty of girls since then, but this was...different. I set my phone aside and went to take a shower. I felt a little more calm after that. I needed to just chill out. I pulled on my shirt, picked up my phone and walked to Jinxx's room. I opened the door to see everyone chilling on the floor or on the bed.

"How was it Andy, you guys seemed kinda quiet over there," Ashley said with a wink.

"Shut up Purdy, nothing happened."

"That's like me saying I have no interest in women," he said with a laugh. He stopped when he saw the seriousness in my expression. "Sorry man. You ok? She break up with you or something?"

"I was never dating her. I just don't feel like it right now."

Sammi have me a sympathetic expression from her place on Jinxx's lap. "Things will be OK Andy."

"Yeah, we'll see."

Notes

Poor Andy :(