Maybe there's still hope
Guitar string adventure.
I woke up to someone shaking me.
" Jess wake up"
It was Jake.
" no 5 more minutes" I groaned hiding in my pillow.
" Jess it's 12 up now"
He smacked me with a pillow. I groaned and rolled out of bed. I looked at him , he was already ready.
" get dressed we need to leave like now" he said.
I nodded and waited for him to leave.
I kept on johns 'vans' shirt and put on black skinny jeans. I brushed my hair and didn't bother with makeup. I didn't care much about my appearance since john died besides my hair and clothing. I put on bracelets and brushed my teeth. After I was done I looked at myself in the mirror.
My brown eyes were outlined with red from crying. My face was pale and I didn't recognize myself . This isn't me. But who was me? That I couldn't tell you.
I sighed and went out the door and down the stairs. I put on my shoes and went to the kitchen where jake stood.
" ready" I said and he smiled.
" great lets go" he said grabbing his keys. I followed him out and into the car.
" we're going to be here late" he said and I shrugged.
" it's fine I don't really want to be at the house alone anyway." I said rubbing my cast. I couldn't wait to get this god awful thing off.
We drove to the studio and got out, everyone's car was already there. We were late. We walked into the main area and saw Andy and Ashley sitting in some chairs.
" hey jake !" Andy said
" hey Jess!" Ashley called.
I smiled.
" cc is in there tracking drums and jinxx is in the other room working on his violin stuff" Andy said and jake nodded.
" we were waiting for you let's go work on bulletproof" Andy said standing up. I sat in his seat and he smiled.
" you going to be okay here by yourself?" Ashley asked and I rolled my eyes.
" yes" I muttered .They smiled and walked off. I sat there for a hour playing with my phone until I saw jinxx walking in.
" oh hey Jess didn't know you were here" He said sitting next to me.
I nodded. I hadn't really talked to them much since. I just wasnt in the mood to. Yeah I said hi and the occasional word or two but I haven't had a real conversation with them except jake and CC but even with them I was being short on conversation.
" how are you" he asked turning to me. I sat in the chair crossing me legs under me and looked at him. I shrugged.
" come on talk to me you haven't talked to any of us lately except jake I miss you" he said touching my shoulder. I sighed.
" I'm sorry.. Just not in the mood for talking I guess" I mumbled and he sighed.
" I know it's hard, I know I don't understand what your going through Jess, I've never lost my best friend but I do know that I miss you and your energetic self. It kills all of us to see you being quiet. I know all your doing in that small head of yours is over thinking" he said tapping me head. I laughed lightly
" and I also know when you over think it becomes a problem"
I remained silent. I'm sure he knew I self harmed since it happened. I'm sure they all knew but they haven't confronted me on it.
I nodded.
He looked at my left wrist .
" Jess.."
" jinxx.. Not this please" I begged and he stood up.
" you know I have to do this"
I looked down.
" show me your wrist"
I shook my head.
" come on"
I remained still. I felt his cold hand on it and he extended my arm lifting the bracelets.
" shit Jess" he mumbled looking at the red angry marks that danced across my arm.
" this isn't any way to deal with it"
" yes it is" I mumbled not looking at him.
He held my face In his hand making me look at him.
" Jess it is not, not one bit, you have to stop this you have to promise me, really promise me that you won't or at least talk to me I mean it ,I'm here for you" he said. I didn't say anything. How could I? I wanted to stop I really did but the question was could I?
" Jess if you dot stop I think you should see a therapist"
My head shot up.
" no jinxx. I can't" I said rushed out.
" I'm making a deal with you and its only because I love you and care about you, if you don't self harm anymore , then fine, but if you do one more time ,and ill be checking , your going to therapy deal?" He asked in a serious tone. I nodded. It was for the best.
" deal" I mumbled. He brought me in a hug.
" we never want anything to happen to you, we need you here" he said and I hugged him back. He pulled away and I kissed his cheek.
" thank you, for everything" I said playing with my bangs.
" no problem"
He smiled at me and I raised my eyebrow.
" so do you want to be the best person ever?" He asked and I laughed.
" what do you want..." I asked smiling.
He pulled out his wallet.
" there's a music store down the street can you pick me up some guitar strings I broke mine and don't have any extra" he said handing me a 20$. I took it.
" yeah sure"
He hugged me.
" and that's why your my favorite"
I pushed his off and He laughed.
" tell jake where I am" I said heading out the door.
" okay!" He shouted walking away.
I closed the door and walked out of it. I made my way down the street until I found the store. it was a big building.I walked in and saw it was 2 floors. after looking for a little i went to the guitar section.
I picked the strings off the wall and went to turn around when someone bumped into me sending me to the ground.
" shit I'm so sorry" someone said.
I looked up as saw a boy about 5"8 and 19. He had small gauges in. His brown hair swept to his ear and swept in his face. He had on a backwards SnapBack and a asking Alexandria shirt with black skinny jeans. He seemed familiar.
He reached down and helped me up.
" are you okay?" He asked
" I'm fine" I said and he smiled.
" I'm Matt" he said and held out his hand. I shook it.
" Jess"
" you seem familiar" he said and I laughed.
" I was thinking the same thing"
He stared at me for a minute.
" your Jessica Pitts! You sung on stage with Austin Carlile!" He said and I laughed.
" that would be me."
" can I say you have an amazing voice"
I smiled "thanks. "
Then it clicked i know where I knew him from.
" wait , you from the band ' burn bright' aren't you?" I asked and he laughed.
" yes I am, guitarist and signer" he said.
" I've heard you guys your amazing" I said
" thanks, we've gotten pretty far we recently got signed to a record label"
" that's so cool!"
He laughed
"So are you in a band?" He asked and i laughed. He gave me an odd look.
" I wish but sadly no"
" want to be?" He asked and I looked at him.
" wait what?"
" do you want to be In my band burn bright?" He asked. My eyes widened. He wanted me?
" but you- your the singer?" I said confused.
" yeah but we want a lead signer and your amazing, we all think so, Sean's our bass player, cam plays lead guitar and James is drums" he said and I looked at him. He can't be serious.
" what do you say?" He asked and I nodded my head.
" yes ! " I said and he hugged me.
" great!!" He said and then looked around.
" guys get over here!!" He shouted and soon 3 boys joined us.
" guys this is Jess remember the girl who played with of mice and me " he said and they all nodded smiling.
" she's our new lead singer!" he said and they all cheered.
" yes! Finally" one shouted.
" I'm Sean, I play bass I'm 19" the boy who shouted said. He was about 5"7 and had white skinny jeans on and a plain black v-neck on. He had blond hair that spiked up in the front and crystal blue eyes.
" I'm James I play drums and I'm 17" a boy with black hair that matched Matt's said. He had on sport shorts and a vans shirt on.
" I'm cam I'm 18 and I play the guitar" the last one said. He had dirty blond hair that went just above his Carmel eyes and swayed to the right. He had on an of mice and men shirt with cargo shorts on.
" nice to meet you" I said and they smiled.
" pleasures all ours " Sean said
" yeah kid you have some lungs" cam said.
I blushed.
" so how about you come over on let's day Monday afternoon? and we can have a band practice?" Matt asked and I nodded handing him my phone while he gave me his.
I put my number In and we passed them between us.
" alright I got to get back to my brother before he has a heart attack" I said and they laughed giving me a hug and walking back to the sections of the store they came from. I payed and grabbed the bag. I went out the door and waves to Matt. I walked down the street with a huge smile.
Maybe this was my big brake.
I walked into the studio and saw everybody minus Andy sitting in the main area.
They jumped up.
" why were you there so long! I thought you were hurt!" Jake said checking me over and I laughed shoving him off.
" fuck off I'm fine" I said and try laughed. Cc came over and kissed me.
" hey there" he said as I smiled.
" you smell" I said and he laughed smacking my arm.
"Oh shush"
" so what took you so long?" Jinxx asked. I handed him the bag and sat on the couch next to cc.
" I met some people..." I said smiling.
Ashley raised his eyebrow.
" and who would these people be?" He asked leaning back in his chair.
" my new band members"
they're eyes grew wide.
" you got a band?!"Jinxx shouted and I laughed.
" indeed I did"
" finally!!" he said standing up and picking me up. He spun me as I laughed. Just as he set me down Andy walked out of the recording room.
" okay what did I miss?" He asked confused.
" Jess had a band!" Cc shouted. Andy ran and hugged me squeezing me.
" dear jesus that's amazing"
I laughed.
" I think you guys are more excited then I am" I said and they laughed.
" we'll we've been waiting forever for you to get one, what the bands name?" Jake asked. I sat back next to cc.
" burn bright" I said.
" oh I've heard of them!" Andy said and I nodded.
" yeah they're already signed to a label" I said and they all smiled.
" even better" Ashley said .
" does this mean I don't have to finish junior year and I can just focus on the band?" I asked towards jake and he chuckled.
" no Jess.. It's our deal " he said and I pouted.
" way to ruin my mood" I said sarcastically.
" sorry" jake said standing up.
" let's go jinxx " he said walking towards the door to the recording area. They waved before they disappeared behind the door.
" I'm so proud of you" cc said kissing me. I smiled and kissed him back passionately.
" eww get a room" Ashley said. I flipped him off not braking the kiss.
I felt a pillow smack my head and I broke away. Cc laughed and I saw Ashley holding the pillow.
" oh it's on purdy" I said standing up and tackling him on the ground. We started to wrestle while cc and Andy watched and laughed cheering me on.
Ashley pinned me down holding my hands above me head and leaning his face above mine.
" glad to have you back" he said smiling. I smiled truly for the first time in a week.
I hooked my leg between his and switched so I was on top of him holding his hands above his head which was hard with my cast.
" glad to be back" I said as we continued to wrestle.
" Jess wake up"
It was Jake.
" no 5 more minutes" I groaned hiding in my pillow.
" Jess it's 12 up now"
He smacked me with a pillow. I groaned and rolled out of bed. I looked at him , he was already ready.
" get dressed we need to leave like now" he said.
I nodded and waited for him to leave.
I kept on johns 'vans' shirt and put on black skinny jeans. I brushed my hair and didn't bother with makeup. I didn't care much about my appearance since john died besides my hair and clothing. I put on bracelets and brushed my teeth. After I was done I looked at myself in the mirror.
My brown eyes were outlined with red from crying. My face was pale and I didn't recognize myself . This isn't me. But who was me? That I couldn't tell you.
I sighed and went out the door and down the stairs. I put on my shoes and went to the kitchen where jake stood.
" ready" I said and he smiled.
" great lets go" he said grabbing his keys. I followed him out and into the car.
" we're going to be here late" he said and I shrugged.
" it's fine I don't really want to be at the house alone anyway." I said rubbing my cast. I couldn't wait to get this god awful thing off.
We drove to the studio and got out, everyone's car was already there. We were late. We walked into the main area and saw Andy and Ashley sitting in some chairs.
" hey jake !" Andy said
" hey Jess!" Ashley called.
I smiled.
" cc is in there tracking drums and jinxx is in the other room working on his violin stuff" Andy said and jake nodded.
" we were waiting for you let's go work on bulletproof" Andy said standing up. I sat in his seat and he smiled.
" you going to be okay here by yourself?" Ashley asked and I rolled my eyes.
" yes" I muttered .They smiled and walked off. I sat there for a hour playing with my phone until I saw jinxx walking in.
" oh hey Jess didn't know you were here" He said sitting next to me.
I nodded. I hadn't really talked to them much since. I just wasnt in the mood to. Yeah I said hi and the occasional word or two but I haven't had a real conversation with them except jake and CC but even with them I was being short on conversation.
" how are you" he asked turning to me. I sat in the chair crossing me legs under me and looked at him. I shrugged.
" come on talk to me you haven't talked to any of us lately except jake I miss you" he said touching my shoulder. I sighed.
" I'm sorry.. Just not in the mood for talking I guess" I mumbled and he sighed.
" I know it's hard, I know I don't understand what your going through Jess, I've never lost my best friend but I do know that I miss you and your energetic self. It kills all of us to see you being quiet. I know all your doing in that small head of yours is over thinking" he said tapping me head. I laughed lightly
" and I also know when you over think it becomes a problem"
I remained silent. I'm sure he knew I self harmed since it happened. I'm sure they all knew but they haven't confronted me on it.
I nodded.
He looked at my left wrist .
" Jess.."
" jinxx.. Not this please" I begged and he stood up.
" you know I have to do this"
I looked down.
" show me your wrist"
I shook my head.
" come on"
I remained still. I felt his cold hand on it and he extended my arm lifting the bracelets.
" shit Jess" he mumbled looking at the red angry marks that danced across my arm.
" this isn't any way to deal with it"
" yes it is" I mumbled not looking at him.
He held my face In his hand making me look at him.
" Jess it is not, not one bit, you have to stop this you have to promise me, really promise me that you won't or at least talk to me I mean it ,I'm here for you" he said. I didn't say anything. How could I? I wanted to stop I really did but the question was could I?
" Jess if you dot stop I think you should see a therapist"
My head shot up.
" no jinxx. I can't" I said rushed out.
" I'm making a deal with you and its only because I love you and care about you, if you don't self harm anymore , then fine, but if you do one more time ,and ill be checking , your going to therapy deal?" He asked in a serious tone. I nodded. It was for the best.
" deal" I mumbled. He brought me in a hug.
" we never want anything to happen to you, we need you here" he said and I hugged him back. He pulled away and I kissed his cheek.
" thank you, for everything" I said playing with my bangs.
" no problem"
He smiled at me and I raised my eyebrow.
" so do you want to be the best person ever?" He asked and I laughed.
" what do you want..." I asked smiling.
He pulled out his wallet.
" there's a music store down the street can you pick me up some guitar strings I broke mine and don't have any extra" he said handing me a 20$. I took it.
" yeah sure"
He hugged me.
" and that's why your my favorite"
I pushed his off and He laughed.
" tell jake where I am" I said heading out the door.
" okay!" He shouted walking away.
I closed the door and walked out of it. I made my way down the street until I found the store. it was a big building.I walked in and saw it was 2 floors. after looking for a little i went to the guitar section.
I picked the strings off the wall and went to turn around when someone bumped into me sending me to the ground.
" shit I'm so sorry" someone said.
I looked up as saw a boy about 5"8 and 19. He had small gauges in. His brown hair swept to his ear and swept in his face. He had on a backwards SnapBack and a asking Alexandria shirt with black skinny jeans. He seemed familiar.
He reached down and helped me up.
" are you okay?" He asked
" I'm fine" I said and he smiled.
" I'm Matt" he said and held out his hand. I shook it.
" Jess"
" you seem familiar" he said and I laughed.
" I was thinking the same thing"
He stared at me for a minute.
" your Jessica Pitts! You sung on stage with Austin Carlile!" He said and I laughed.
" that would be me."
" can I say you have an amazing voice"
I smiled "thanks. "
Then it clicked i know where I knew him from.
" wait , you from the band ' burn bright' aren't you?" I asked and he laughed.
" yes I am, guitarist and signer" he said.
" I've heard you guys your amazing" I said
" thanks, we've gotten pretty far we recently got signed to a record label"
" that's so cool!"
He laughed
"So are you in a band?" He asked and i laughed. He gave me an odd look.
" I wish but sadly no"
" want to be?" He asked and I looked at him.
" wait what?"
" do you want to be In my band burn bright?" He asked. My eyes widened. He wanted me?
" but you- your the singer?" I said confused.
" yeah but we want a lead signer and your amazing, we all think so, Sean's our bass player, cam plays lead guitar and James is drums" he said and I looked at him. He can't be serious.
" what do you say?" He asked and I nodded my head.
" yes ! " I said and he hugged me.
" great!!" He said and then looked around.
" guys get over here!!" He shouted and soon 3 boys joined us.
" guys this is Jess remember the girl who played with of mice and me " he said and they all nodded smiling.
" she's our new lead singer!" he said and they all cheered.
" yes! Finally" one shouted.
" I'm Sean, I play bass I'm 19" the boy who shouted said. He was about 5"7 and had white skinny jeans on and a plain black v-neck on. He had blond hair that spiked up in the front and crystal blue eyes.
" I'm James I play drums and I'm 17" a boy with black hair that matched Matt's said. He had on sport shorts and a vans shirt on.
" I'm cam I'm 18 and I play the guitar" the last one said. He had dirty blond hair that went just above his Carmel eyes and swayed to the right. He had on an of mice and men shirt with cargo shorts on.
" nice to meet you" I said and they smiled.
" pleasures all ours " Sean said
" yeah kid you have some lungs" cam said.
I blushed.
" so how about you come over on let's day Monday afternoon? and we can have a band practice?" Matt asked and I nodded handing him my phone while he gave me his.
I put my number In and we passed them between us.
" alright I got to get back to my brother before he has a heart attack" I said and they laughed giving me a hug and walking back to the sections of the store they came from. I payed and grabbed the bag. I went out the door and waves to Matt. I walked down the street with a huge smile.
Maybe this was my big brake.
I walked into the studio and saw everybody minus Andy sitting in the main area.
They jumped up.
" why were you there so long! I thought you were hurt!" Jake said checking me over and I laughed shoving him off.
" fuck off I'm fine" I said and try laughed. Cc came over and kissed me.
" hey there" he said as I smiled.
" you smell" I said and he laughed smacking my arm.
"Oh shush"
" so what took you so long?" Jinxx asked. I handed him the bag and sat on the couch next to cc.
" I met some people..." I said smiling.
Ashley raised his eyebrow.
" and who would these people be?" He asked leaning back in his chair.
" my new band members"
they're eyes grew wide.
" you got a band?!"Jinxx shouted and I laughed.
" indeed I did"
" finally!!" he said standing up and picking me up. He spun me as I laughed. Just as he set me down Andy walked out of the recording room.
" okay what did I miss?" He asked confused.
" Jess had a band!" Cc shouted. Andy ran and hugged me squeezing me.
" dear jesus that's amazing"
I laughed.
" I think you guys are more excited then I am" I said and they laughed.
" we'll we've been waiting forever for you to get one, what the bands name?" Jake asked. I sat back next to cc.
" burn bright" I said.
" oh I've heard of them!" Andy said and I nodded.
" yeah they're already signed to a label" I said and they all smiled.
" even better" Ashley said .
" does this mean I don't have to finish junior year and I can just focus on the band?" I asked towards jake and he chuckled.
" no Jess.. It's our deal " he said and I pouted.
" way to ruin my mood" I said sarcastically.
" sorry" jake said standing up.
" let's go jinxx " he said walking towards the door to the recording area. They waved before they disappeared behind the door.
" I'm so proud of you" cc said kissing me. I smiled and kissed him back passionately.
" eww get a room" Ashley said. I flipped him off not braking the kiss.
I felt a pillow smack my head and I broke away. Cc laughed and I saw Ashley holding the pillow.
" oh it's on purdy" I said standing up and tackling him on the ground. We started to wrestle while cc and Andy watched and laughed cheering me on.
Ashley pinned me down holding my hands above me head and leaning his face above mine.
" glad to have you back" he said smiling. I smiled truly for the first time in a week.
I hooked my leg between his and switched so I was on top of him holding his hands above his head which was hard with my cast.
" glad to be back" I said as we continued to wrestle.
@LindseyBVBarmy
I'm glad!:)
2/20/14