If Hell were any Closer

Nikki's POV

My mouth flew open as I reread the letter approximately ten times. This must've been a mistake; surely even the C.I.A made mistakes, right? I mean, how on earth could they even consider hiring me, a teenager still in high school? This was a prank; it just had to be.

I dumped the brief letter and the envelope onto the kitchen counter, wanting nothing more then to just pretend that I hadn't just read that shocking news. Hypothetically, what if it was real? Would I just leave my home and my life and start C.I.A boot camp? Is that even a real thing? Ugh, curse the mailman for delivering this horrible, life-changing news on Christmas Eve, of all days! God dammit.

I make my way upstairs after turning off the gas fireplace, although I do leave the lights on downstairs. After the whole break-in incident, I’ve been slightly on edge about being alone twenty-four seven. However, if I were to accept this rather strange job position, I would never have to fear for my life ever again. If it is real, of course.

I gasp and my hand flies to my heart when I open my bedroom door, revealing a large pool of light circling my bed. And on it, is my boyfriend, Andy.

I scowl and make a dive for my bed, plucking a decorative pillow from it and chucking it at him. “Andy! What on earth are you doing here? Ever heard of calling?”

He chuckles and rolls across the mattress onto my side, pulling me quickly into his arms making me squeal. He flips us around so that I am pinned beneath him, his forearms resting on either side of my slim form. Andy grins wickedly and nuzzles his nose in the crook of my neck, breathing me in while his hands trail up my bare thighs, lazily pulling my large t-shirt up. His hands caress the newly bared flesh of my waist, distracting me from the problem at hand.

I giggle despite myself, using my own hands to still his. “What are you doing here?” I ask again in a hushed, if not breathless whisper.

“I missed you,” he confesses and my heart aches.

Ignoring all logic at the moment, I reach up and wrap my hands around his neck, pulling his lips down to meet mine. Andy’s own hands surround my body, stilling at the small of my back, harshly gripping the bare skin as he presses against me. My back arches unconsciously into his touch and my head falls back, giving him perfect access to the sensual skin at my throat.

Andy’s lips leave my lips and travel across my jawline, leaving a trail of kisses in their wake. His lips reattach themself at the base of my throat directly above my racing pulse point. He uses his position over me to take his time; sucking and biting at the sensitive skin. Gasps and breathless whispers leave my swollen lips as I fist my hands into his long, dark hair, urging him for more.

When he raises his head from the crook of my neck, a wicked smirk masks his sculpted lips, a dark fire already ignited within his blue irises, making them even darker. The sheer desire and lust within his gaze keeps me enthralled, and I reach for him once more, pressing my lips against his again.

Andy has enough sense to pull away; we both know where this moment will be heading soon. “A-are you sure?” He questions, breathless, his shallow breaths fanning out across my lips, encasing my face in his scent.

I nod anxiously, too caught up in the moment to even care about anything within sense. All I know is that I want him, now.

Andy takes my answer as a ‘go ahead’ and he swiftly reattaches our lips once more, letting me roll us so that I’m straddling his waist. I sit up and reach for my first clothing barrier: one of Andy’s old t-shirts. The garment is tossed carelessly to the floor before Andy pulls me back down again, his lips nipping at the soft skin behind my ear and near my collarbones.

Growing impatient, my hands wander to his hips, drawing the fabric covering his chest upwards until he sits up and pulls the shirt over his head himself. Feeling particularly satisfied with myself, I allow for my hands to wander on their own for a few moments, deftly tracing the crevices and curves of his pale yet defined chest.

My fingers idly outline his prominent hipbones as Andy’s hands crawl up my back, reaching for my bra clasp. Nervousness claws its way into the depths of my mind but I shake it off; I trust Andy completely and I love him so, so much. This isn’t a mistake - that I am sure of.

In one fluent motion, the clasp comes undone, and Andy sits up as well, using one hand to cradle me delicately to his body. He rests our foreheads against one another, asking once again if I am sure.

Instead of verbally answering, I reach past him and flick my straps down my shoulders, letting it fall between us. Andy’s eyes never leave mine, even as I move to press my lips to the hallow at the base of his throat; biting softly at the skin like he did to me.

My hands move towards his belt buckle, and they quickly begin to fiddle with it, before slowly unzipping his tight pants. Andy grins and flips us around again, ridding himself of his pants. He moves in between my legs, going up my body with his hands as he kisses me again, our movements frenzied and rushed.

I use my free hand to absentmindedly trail my fingers down the prominent bulge in his tight boxers, moaning myself at Andy’s own groan of pleasure. I grin into the kiss, hooking my thumbs into his boxers and swiftly pulling them down his legs, freeing his erection.

Andy growls as I wrap my small hands around his hardened length; “fucking tease,” he hisses, slowly dragging my damp panties down my thighs as well.

I slowly begin to move my hand, keeping my eyes locked on his ecstasy filled ones. He groans as I pump my hands faster, and he startles me by batting my hands away. His lust-filled eyes meet mine again and he moves away briefly leaves me, reaching for a condom in the depths of his wallet.

I raise an eyebrow as he slides it on, and nerves begin to eat away at my stomach again, “should I even ask?”

He chuckles darkly, “probably not.”

He joins me on the bed once more and I lean up on my elbows, gazing up at the love of my life. Andy smiles sweetly at me, and cups the back of my head, leaning in so our lips meet together in a soft kiss.

When he pulls away not even an inch, he speaks again, his warm breath cascading across my lips, making my mouth water; he even smells good.

“I’ll go slow, alright baby?” He asks more then tells, and I nod in response.

He kisses the top of my head gently before he positions himself at my most private area. His eyes never leave mine as he slowly begins to push past my tight folds, and he blindly reaches for my hand, giving me a reassuring squeeze.

I gasp at the sudden fullness I feel, the strange feeling entirely foreign and unknown to my body. At the moment, it is more pain then pleasure above all else, and I automatically shut my eyes to prevent my eyes from watering at this... odd feelings.

“Nikki, baby, I know it hurts. Please open your eyes sweetie, we can stop if you want,” Andy practically pleads, though his voice sounds hoarse and strained.

This must be hard for him too, I realize, and my heart swells at how considerate he is being. I shake my head ‘no’ but open my eyes as Andy stills, having reached my final barrier.

He gives me another look, asking yet again if I am sure and I smile in response. He nods, clenching his jaw as he pushes further, and I let an involuntary gasp fall past my lips at the quick burst of pain the surges through my veins. It is over with quick, although a dull ache remains, and only increases as he moves further inside of me.

Tears well in my eyes as Andy finally stills inside of me, but I do my best to blink them back. Andy reaches a hand down that isn’t holding my hand to gently cup my cheek, “you okay?” He breathes.

I nod, the pain fading but the ache still there.

Then he starts to move. He goes slow, as promised, gently pulling back before he thrusts back into my warm body. I gasp as he continuously moves inside of me, repeating the pattern over and over again.

Andy’s breaths are short and strained, a layer of sweat coating his body. “I love you so goddamned much, you know that, don’t you Nikki?” He breathes out in between thrusts.

I nod, feeling out of breath and sore already, “I love you too, so much.”

He nods, and I wrap my legs around his hips, freeing my hands in order to tightly grip his shoulder blades. My long nails dig into the soft skin, surely breaking it, but I doubt he’ll mind at this point, I doubt he even feels it at this point in time anyways.

He groans and his head lolls to the side lazily, “I’m so close baby, I love you so much.”

I say nothing, feeling absolutely no pleasure but I heard that girls often don’t enjoy their first or even second time. The ache is fading though, and it gives me a chance to observe Andy in his most primal state, and the whole ordeal is quite breathtaking actually. Seeing him lose control this way, watching as he shudders with pleasure and desire.

I reach up again and press our lips together, feeling him shiver from pleasure against my lips. “I love you too Andy,” I whisper into our kiss as he comes undone.

He collapses on top of me, his arms having given out. I don’t mind though, as I stroke his sweaty hair soothingly, using my other hand to trace his perfectly sculpted facial features.

My finger pads run across his long eye lashes, running over the bridge of his nose and outlining his lips and high cheekbones. He’s truly perfect in my eyes, and I love him with everything I have. I don’t know how I ever could leave him, because I know now, that I can’t.

When Andy finally composes himself, he pulls out of me quickly, and I wince despite myself, suddenly feeling empty and cold. Andy cups my cheek and kisses my forehead as he tosses the used condom and its wrapper in the trash, before returning to my side and pulling me into his arms.

He repeatedly kisses my face: my closed lids, my eyebrows, my nose, my cheeks and finally my lips. “I love you so goddamned much Nicole.”

I giggle despite my exhaustion, “I love you.”

He wraps an arm under my shoulders and another around my waist and he hoists me up, standing with me. He sets me down on a lone couch across from my bed and gets to work on quickly removing my poorly stained sheets. I frown at that and shiver; I guess I never realized the cold before but without Andy I feel empty and freezing.

I begin to nod off when Andy returns to my side, having pulled his boxers back on; he picks me up once more and carries me away from my bedroom to a guest room across the hall. He swiftly pulls back the covers and deposits me under them, joining me and wrapping my bare body up in his arms.

Just as sleep starts to take me he kisses my temple once more, uttering a few simple words. “Merry Christmas Nikki.”

Notes

Alright guys, I have been putting this chapter off for almost a week because that was both very intense and tremendously awkward lol
hope it was sufficient and stuff
Now I am going to go crawl under the covers and consider how I make life decisions

plz comment on how that was! Only my fourth attempt at this but I think I have improved sort of