If Hell were any Closer

Nikki's POV:

I take a shower and take a long period of time simply brushing the tangled out of my matted hair, blow drying it, and applying cream to my skin. I don't want to have to see Andy, not after our mini screaming match earlier this morning. But I'll have to face him eventually.

Wrapping the towel, spotless and soft, tightly around my trembling body, i make my way into my once again, empty room. I breath out a sigh of relief, I really did not want to face him again so soon.

I get dress quickly, throwing on sweats and a tank top, winding my hair into a messy bun before venturing downstairs, all thoughts of my nightmare momentarily gone from my subconscious. He's not there, which alone clams me immensely, yet somewhere, I also feel sad that he didn't stay.

That's when I see it, the small folded piece of scrap paper lying on the clean counter top. I am hesitant to read it, but curiosity winds yet again.

Nikki,
I'm sorry for this, for everything, really. I know I don't deserve another chance, but I'm asking for one anyways. I never stopped loving you, baby, so please, one more chance. Meet me tonight.

Andy x

My heart unconsciously clenches and shivers run throw my veins as his words sink in. He wants to meet me, he wants me back. But the question is, do I want him back? Hell, I'd be lying to myself if i said 'no', but he did hurt me, I don't think I would be able to handle it if he did again.

Then I remember my frightening dream, and my breathing increases. There were three doors: three options. One was Andy; safe, secure, loving Andy. The guy who loved my unconditionally, and was always there for me, until he suddenly wasn't. But that wasn't entirely his fault, Danny pulled him away from me with the allure of drugs and alcohol. Then there was door number two, the one with Oliver, the guy who I sued to fear, and then came to like. He was nice to me, he helped me whenever Andy wasn't there, but i was almost certain that I ddi not love him like I did Andy. Finally. there was the frightening door number three, the suicide chamber. I suppose I do have a potential third choice: death. I always have a way out, but I don't want to discover that route yet, not today at least.

I close my eyes tightly, willing for the dream to come back to me even though moments ago I was hoping t forget it. The bloody towel, that somehow appeared in my bathroom. The writing in red; parts of me own insecurities. Andy after, helping me, holding me. He was always there for me, always able to calm me down.

I opened my eyes; I know my choice.

Notes

sorry for the short update, but it was important. Nikki has finally chosen Andy! About time guurl!!

So sad that the long weekend is almost over :( After this I have dance performances and exams. High school sucks guys