Blood Thirsty

*Jake's POV*

Why! Why do I have to be in love with him! Why do I have to fall for the ones that are out of my reach?! I sat in the bathroom, not wanting to face them or him. I heard Jinxx and Andy bashing at the door, begging me to let them in. I don't want to be around anyone right now. I just want to be in my misery alone. I turned up the metal blasting from my phone, drowning the world out. I let my head hit the wall, too tired to cry anymore. Then, an urge came over me. A sickening urge of extreme depression and self loathing. I grabbed one of my shaving razors, and stomped on it with my shoe. I took one of the many blades, smiling sickly spreading across my lips as I felt the cool metal kiss the skin of my wrists. I haven't done this since high school, but I remembered how it felt. I winced as I felt the metal pierce my flesh, dragging it in smooth line. I continued this until I had deep, red, bleeding cuts all down my arms. I smiled at my work, until I realised what I had just done. I don't want anyone to see this! I bandaged up my arms, then looked out of the door to see if anyone was around. I sighed in relief when I saw that the bus was empty. I walked over to my bag, grabbing a sweatshirt and putting it on. "Jake?" I heard CC's quiet voice, making me jump in the air. "What is it, CC...." I sighed, not looking him in the eyes. "I didn't know that you were here. Everyone else went to the bar to drink." He said, looking at me with concern in his voice. I didn't want to deal with this at the moment. I walked past him, and out of the bus. The night air was chilly, causing me shiver slightly as I walked down the street, into a bar. I just need to drink my feelings away. I saw the guys sitting in a booth on the other side of the room, so I snuck to the bar. I ordered shot after shot, until I couldn't think anymore. I stumbled onto the bus, ignoring the guys asking where I had been. I just got into bed and cried myself to sleep.

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