Fvck The Haters

Jake knew that nothing else mattered when we drove around aimlessly. He knew eventually I’d snap out of it. At least that’s what he was saying an hour after we’d ditched class as I sat in awkward silence.

“So you’re not talking.” He sighed. I didn’t want to say anything, I was afraid I’d start crying again. “Anywhere you want to go?” He tried.

“I really liked her.” I said quietly.

“We need to get your mind off of this.” He stopped the car in front of a music store. “There’s a sweet guitar I’ve been dying to play.”

I was surprised nobody yelled at us to take our backpacks off or ask us if we needed anything then hovered within earshot until we left. I was even more surprised when Jake took a guitar off a wall, plugged it in and started playing it.

“What song is that?” I watched him play, when did he get so good?

“I wrote it.” He beamed. I watched his fingers glide over the fretboard and wished I could play like him. “Plug in.” He pointed to a guitar on the wall.

I picked up the nearest guitar and plugged it in, attempting to copy his sweep picking but I was lost in distortion hell. I stopped playing and shook my head.

He restarted the song and played slow enough for me to keep up. “You’re improving.” He observed a few minutes later.

“Not compared to you.” I stared at my pick.

“Dude I practice at least 3 hours a day.” He shrugged.

“I could never do that. I give up after 5 minutes.” I set the guitar down.

He started playing another song. “I’m in a band.” He said.

“What?” I laughed.

He looked up at me, still playing. He was serious.

“Actually?” I felt a tinge of jealousy. We’d always talked about being in a band, I loved singing and he was getting better at guitar. We’d come up with a name for our band and talked about what the merch would look like. This was our thing.

He smiled like it wasn’t a big deal. “With Ashley and Chris.”

“Who’s the singer?” I scoffed.

“Andy.” He shrugged.

“Andy?” I said, sounding way too offended. “Who the hell is Andy?”

“He’s on the football team.” He was smiling like this wasn’t a big deal, like he hadn’t crushed my dream in one sentence.

“Awesome.” I said, scowling. Wait, is that why he was defending Ashley in the parking lot?
“We have our first gig on Saturday.” He said.

“Really.” Now I was angry. The next words fell out of my mouth before I left the store. “That’s great. I hope it goes well.” I was intent on walking home but I ended up jacking Wi-Fi at Burger Bling while pretending to drink a cup of water. I was broke, my girlfriend hated me, my best friend was in a band without me and whenever I went back to school I was going to be in trouble for getting into another fight.

Notes