He reached out to touch me, but I waved my arm to ward him off, and he clenched his fist and pulled it away, his forearm muscles tense. “Please. Humor me. I’m . . . My memory’s not so good these days. What happened?”

I folded my arms, trying to tear my gaze away, but it kept bouncing back on invisible rubber bands. “Don’t pull this moody trick on me again, okay? It isn’t funny.”

“No, it isn’t. We got the mirror, right?”

“Oh, so you don’t remember frightening the crap out of me in that warehouse? Strangling that girl half to death?”

A flush tainted his dark cheeks silver. “Okay. And the shiny—?”

“It’s in your back pocket! What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. It’s okay. You have to go. Now.” He scrabbled the mirror from his pocket and pressed it into my hands. “Take it. Leave. Before it’s too late.”

“What? No! Andy, what’s going on?” I backed off along the window, frustration searing my nerves to crisps. “Why’d you kiss me, if you’re just gonna push me away?”

He released his breath in a rush, his firedark gaze intent on mine. Coppery sweat slicked his cheeks. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, okay? Just get out of here before he comes back. There’s not much time.” He grabbed my hand and wrapped my fingers around the steel, forcing my grip tight. “Take it. Go to Jinxx. Get your cure and don’t come back.”

The metal stung cold and lonely in my palm, but it soothed compared with the empty chill in my heart. “No way. I don’t buy it. What’s really going on? Why’d you spend all this time hunting for this thing and half getting yourself killed about a dozen times because of me, just to hand it over? And what about the demon bitch? What did she promise you? Money? Power? Or just the fucking fun of it?” Cold fury ripped my voice to shreds. I shoved away from the window, resentment seething in my blood along with embarrassment that I’d let him kiss me like that, responded like that when I knew he’d betrayed me. I couldn’t believe I’d fallen for his sweet tricks. He’d used me, and now he pretended none of it mattered.

He sighed, exasperation sparking scarlet on his breath. “Don’t be like that. You’re not the only one who gets threatened around here, okay? I’ll get away from her somehow.”
Disbelief nailed my lungs tight. He wasn’t tricking me for kicks? “She’s chasing you? Like, you’ll go to hell?”
“I don’t care about that. I care about you. Get out of here.”
My heart juddered. The wind rose, swirling cool raindrops onto my burning face, and thunder clashed like iron. My nerves exalted, mirrortoxic excitement flooding my veins. My nose sparkled, and I slapped my wings together to stop them fluttering. “You what?”
He eyed me steadily, hair ruffling in ozone-fresh breeze. “It’s yours. Take it. I don’t want it anymore.”
Horror chewed at my skin like hungry ants. He’d chance a demon’s wrath for me. So I could be cured, of a glorious blood-burning madness that half the time I wasn’t sure I didn’t want anyway.
He’d go to hell for my cowardice.

Helpless admiration washed warm currents over my heart. That was so romantic.
And so maddening, I could punch his fine-angled midnight face. I shook my head and thrust the mirror out to him, straining my arm so he’d take it. “Oh, no, you don’t. I’m not sending you to hell so I can feel good about myself. That’s not fair.”

“And I’m not letting you die for my bad decisions.” His breath struggled, his eyes wild like he fought inside with some unseen beast, but he wouldn’t drop his gaze. Wouldn’t take the damn mirror from my hand. I shook it, terror rippling my muscles, but he wouldn’t move.

I wanted to roll on the ground and kick my legs and scream. I wanted to grab him and run, anywhere we could hide and pretend this wasn’t happening. I stuck my hand on my hip, trying to look pissed off and in control, but my voice trembled around a stupid lump in my throat. My eyes watered. I wiped them roughly, streaking my face. Damn it. “Like you care what I want. You just don’t want it to be your fault.”

Blue lightning arced from his wing tips to spike the wet ground, and hissing steam whipped away in the rising wind. His eyes flashed a dangerous violet, lashes sparking. “I never want it to be my fault again.”
“What do you mean?”
His gaze slipped. “Doesn’t matter.”
I jumped up and down, frustration jerking my calves, my skirt flopping. “It does matter! You can’t just lay that out there and then clam up. That is so your problem, you know that? All that strong and silent shit really fucks you up.”
He closed his eyes and sighed, slow and weary. “Fine.”
“Yeah, fine. Go ahead. Shut me out ag—”
“Wanna hear the story or not?” His jaw tensed, tendons sharp, and his teeth made a little metal shriek.
Truth at last? I swallowed, nerves tingling. “Oh. Okay. Sure. Go ahead.”

He slumped against the glass beside me and rubbed his eyes with thumb and forefinger, coppery lashes springing. “I knew someone once. A human woman, Lauren. I loved her so much, it hurt my eyes to look at her. We roamed together. We thieved together, and one night she . . . We were climbing from a pit, running away, and she couldn’t fly. She fell, and I didn’t catch her.” Silver tears slipped onto his cheeks, scattered by raindrops.

My heart squeezed tight, and tears stung my eyeballs. I tried to imagine how I’d feel if Ashley or Charlotte died in front of me. If Peter had shot Andy while I stood there. “I’m sure it wasn’t your f—”

“I tried, but . . . I was angry with her, you see. She’d pretended to love me so I’d help her to the treasure.” He raked his wet hair flat and ruffled it again, frustrated. “The mirror, Appolonnia, okay? We were stealing the mirror from Jinxx's temple in hell, all spiketraps and burning pits and trip wires like it is, and when we got there, she . . . Well, she’d meant to trick me all along. She trapped me there for Jinxx to find so she could have the mirror for herself. She broke my heart and I hated her for it. I . . . I don’t remember the things I hissed at her, but they were awful. If I’d just let her leave me, she’d have been safe. But I had to fight with her, didn’t I, I had to scream insults at her, and Jinxx found us both. We . . . I broke the chains and fled, and she followed me, it was steep and rocky and without wings she couldn’t climb fast enough. She begged me to help her. . . .” Andy squeezed his eyes shut, wetness filling his lashes.

I swallowed. “It’s okay—”
“No, it isn’t, Applonnia. I was so angry with her for lying to me. I shoved her away and she . . . she fell. I tried to catch her. I really did. I held on so tight. But my fingers were bloody, and . . . and her little hand was so small. I couldn’t hold her. She died because of me, Appolonnia. I can’t let you die because of me, too. They’re my consequences. I won’t let you suffer them.”

Icy shards ripped deep into my heart. Jesus. No wonder he was so afraid of girls. Of liking a girl. Was that why he’d acted like such an ice-walled prick for so long? Because he feared he might like me?
I’d finally gotten him to admit it, and now one of us had to die?

I slid timid fingers onto his arm, but gently he brushed them away.
His gaze settled on me again, silver sparkling on his lashes, and the determination glowing there made me shiver. “There’s more, Appolonnia. Please. Just listen. I looked into the mirror that day, to see what was so damn important that I’d lost her. Ever since then, I . . . well, it’s like I’m split in two. There’s this shadow half of me locked away, the part that could love her . . . but it’s the part that hated her, too, and it’s dark and angry and dangerous and . . . and I can’t control it, Apples. I black out and I wake up somewhere else, and I don’t know where I’ve been or what I’ve done.”

His molten gaze shifted, just for an instant, and my throat hurt. That rainbow titanium bangle, so snug now on his left wrist. I was right. It didn’t come off. It swapped, whenever he felt like it. He was two fairies, and at least one of him had known it all along.

Two fairies. Andy’s kindness, flashing in and out like neon. No accident. The way he kissed me, so hot and passionate and full of desperate emotion. But whose? How was I supposed to tell? None of it was real.
My throat burned tight. “So everything you’ve said to me is a lie, is that it?”

“No!” His jaw tightened, pulse shifting. “No, Appolonnia. You make me forget it all. You make me want to be whole again, and I . . . I don’t know what to do. I’m crippled. I don’t know how to give you what you need. I’m sorry. Just take the mirror and go.”
Lightning crackled, deafening. I rubbed my arms, chill aching my bones though the stormy air stuck hot and thick to my skin. “So what, I’m just supposed to let some demon bitch tear you apart?”
He shrugged, casual, though unease leaked dark blue ink into his eyes. “I’ll get rid of her somehow.”
Anger skewered my nerves. “That is such boy bullshit, you know that? She’s a fucking demon. You don’t get rid of demons.”

He eyed me steadily, calm, ineluctable, unmovable. “Appolonnia, there’s no other way.”
“There must another way!” Tears slashed at my eyes, and words rushed unstoppable from my tongue. “Don’t you see, I can’t do this! I can’t let you do it. It’s not so bad, all right? I’m not so nuts. It’s just this . . . this urge to do stupid things and live on the edge and say every idiot thing that slips into my head and when you threw me off that skyscraper I was scared shitless but I’ve never felt so fucking good in my entire life and . . . and I want to be brave and crazy and reckless but I don’t know if I can do it alone, and you helped me see that for once in my sorry little life I’m not alone, and if I have to do it without you I think I’ll die right now and get it over with because I’m in love with you and if you push me away one more time I’ll break into a million screeching bleeding little pieces and make a big mess and Christ I can’t believe I said that.”
Hair whipped my cheeks in the rising wind, and I left it there, tears fresh on my face. For once I didn’t care if he laughed at me.

He swallowed, dragging hair from his cheeks with unsteady fingers. “Appolonnia—”

Notes

-Grimm