Love Never Fades

Two months after coming back to an empty bus and Ash’s frantic note, Andy was more worried about someone than he’d ever been in his life. Neither he, nor the rest of the band, had heard a peep out of him in all that time, and they couldn’t get in touch with his grandparents, either. Normally, Daniel and Leana Crosswhite would answer the phone when any of them called because they knew they were trying to get in touch with their grandson, but it was like all three of them had vanished into thin air.

When none of them had heard from the bassist or his grandparents within two weeks, they’d agreed that it might be necessary to file a missing person’s report. Since he’d said he was going home, which meant to Missouri, not California, they’d asked that they contact authorities around Springfield. He’d never told them where his hometown was, so they weren’t sure exactly where to search for him back East, but they knew he was from that general area. The cops had agreed, saying that he could’ve gotten mugged and abducted at the airport before he could ever board the plane.

Their efforts turned up nothing, with the exception of Ash buying a plane ticket bound for Springfield, Missouri. After that, there were no leads whatsoever, and again, it was almost as if he’d disappeared. They all wanted to know what’d happened to him, but none more so than the young frontman.

None of his friends, not even his parents, knew that he’d made the foolish mistake of falling in love with his best friend. That combined with the alcohol had caused him to not just fuck him that night in July, but actually make love to him. When thinking back on that event and his subsequent disappearance, Andy wondered if that’d been why he’d run. But if so, what about making love to him could’ve made him run away and hide?

“I just don’t understand, Mom,” Andy said, holding his phone up to his head as he stood outside smoking. “He considered us all the siblings he never had, and the band was his life, his childhood dream. It meant so much to him, so why just up and leave without a moment’s notice, or telling us how long he’d be gone?”

“That I dunno, son,” his mother answered. “Didn’t he say in his note that one of his grandparents had gotten sick?”

“He did, and I honestly thought so at first, but now I’m not sure,” he told her.

“If one of them got sick, it could be a long-term illness. Then again, maybe whichever one got sick ultimately lost their battle, and he just hasn’t felt ready to come back,” she said thoughtfully.

“True enough; I hadn’t thought about it like that,” he conceded.

“But why do you think that he wasn’t being honest in his note?” Amy asked, a note of curiosity coloring her voice.

“Well, none of us have been able to get in touch with him; it’s like he just vanished,” the young frontman started. “Besides, I think he’d have at least told me, if no one else, that one of his grandparents had passed, or they thought they might.”

“Yeah, I suppose that’s true,” she agreed. “You were his best friend, when it came to his bandmates, if I recall…”

“And considering that we accidentally crossed a line I didn’t think we’d ever cross…” he trailed off.

“I remember you telling me about that.”

“I don’t know that he remembers what happened, so I didn’t wanna say anything. For all I know, he might’ve reacted badly to me doing so, so I kept my mouth shut.”

“Even though it wasn’t just casual sex for you.”

“Oh, it was far from being casual sex.” Andy sighed as he stubbed out his cigarette. “I never believed in true lovemaking, but after that night…well, I’d be lying if I said I still didn’t.”

“And since you haven’t been able to get in touch with Ashley, you haven’t been able to tell him that.”

“Exactly. Aside from the man I love just disappearing, that’s what makes this so painful for me.”

“Well, you know Dad and I are here for you. Maybe you’ll get in touch with him again one day, whether it’s in the near or distant future,” Amy told him. “Just don’t lose hope until you know for sure if he’s still alive or not. If he died and his death is confirmed, that’s one thing, but if he’s still alive…”

“I get what you’re saying, Mom,” he said, barely smiling at her words.

The pair soon said their goodbyes and Andy ended the call, sighing again as he put his phone in his pocket and lit another cigarette. He’d loved his best friend in more than a brotherly sense almost from day one, but had never gotten the chance to tell him. He’d been too afraid of admitting that he was bisexual, just in case he looked down on him, for whatever reason.

Now he couldn’t help but think that, because of his fear, he’d missed out on something that one found only once in their lifetime. A tear leaked over his waterline and streamed slowly down his cheek, eventually dripping off his chin. He’d lost his chance to tell Ash how he really felt, and now it was likely too late.



At the same time that Andy was struggling to hold back tears of sorrow and despair while talking to his mother, Ash was sighing as he finished unpacking his last box. He and his grandparents had all decided to move from Aurora to a small town in central-Eastern Tennessee called Strawberry Plains.

Situated on the banks of the Holston River, which fed into the French Broad River, it was about fifteen miles East of Knoxville. The town itself was tiny, and few of its residents appeared pleased that there were outsiders moving into their midst, but he didn’t care. It was a town where everybody knew their neighbors by name and face, and soon enough, he’d be one of them. They may not take well to knowing he was a man who could carry children, given that he was in the heart of the Bible Belt, but again, he didn’t care.

The town was so tiny, in fact, that it was the perfect place to hide from his best friend-turned-lover. The cell service out here sucked, quite honestly, which meant that it would be hard to track him down. And if the townspeople weren’t exactly taking well to him and his grandparents moving here, he could only imagine how they’d react if his past came looking for him. Not very well, he’d imagine, and he was thankful for that.

Once he’d unpacked the last box, he stretched out on his couch for a nap. His grandmother was in his new kitchen, setting it up and working on throwing together a quick lunch while his grandfather inspected the barn. The few horses they’d kept were being housed in a public facility nearby for the time being, but they wanted to bring them here soon. Since they were busy doing that and he didn’t want to strain himself, he chose to lay down for a bit as he waited. Carrying one baby would’ve been hard enough, he supposed, but carrying twins already put twice the strain on his body.

“You feeling okay, Ashley?” the elderly woman asked as she came into the living room with a sandwich for him.

“Just tired,” he answered, smiling. His morning sickness had finally started slacking off, considering that he was now thirteen weeks pregnant.

“Not too nauseous, if at all, I hope,” Leana said, setting the plate and a glass of milk down on the coffee table.

“Actually, not really. At most, it’s a feeling of unease in the pit of my stomach,” he told her, grinning as he sat up.

“That’s a good thing,” she chuckled, gently kissing his forehead. “You enjoy your lunch and just relax.”

“Not gonna eat with me, Grama?” Ash asked, mock pouting a bit.

“I already ate while I was unpacking,” she laughed, ruffling his hair.

“Hey! No touchie the hair!” he whined, slapping her hand away as his pout turned real.

“All right, all right, you girlie-girl of a grandson I love.”

“I love you, too, Grama.”

Shaking her head, Leana headed back to the kitchen as he sat back with the plate on his lap. He noticed as he looked down that he could see a slight swell to his lower abdomen that wasn’t there before, and even though most would’ve thought it was ruining their figure, he didn’t. Sure, he hated gaining weight since he’d worked so hard to maintain his slim physique, but if it meant his babies were healthy, that was all that mattered.

By the time he’d finished his lunch, Ash was definitely in need of a nap, as evidenced by the soft yawn he released as he stood up. He might’ve been tired, but that didn’t mean he was going to let his grandmother allow him to be lazy, even though he had every right to be while he was pregnant.

He gently hugged her after putting his dishes in the sink, then headed upstairs. Surprisingly, the house they’d all agreed on had two master suites, so they didn’t have to fight over who got the master suite and who took a secondary bedroom. He headed to his suite, which he’d already decorated as much as he could since Leana wouldn’t let him paint just yet. She didn’t want the fumes harming the babies, even though he would’ve made sure the room was well-ventilated before he started. Not only that, but he’d have taken a break and gone outside for some fresh air every once in a while, too.

With a soft sigh, Ash stretched out on his bed and hugged one pillow tightly, another clamped between his thighs. He’d noticed ever since discovering that he was pregnant that his crotch seemed to be almost as sensitive as his chest. Alongside being more easily stimulated, which led to him becoming aroused easier and more often, just the slightest touch could hurt if he moved the wrong way. It was like being kicked in the balls without actually being kicked, and being kicked in the balls hurt bad enough on its own.

“I love you guys so much,” he said softly, gently caressing his little swell. “You hold a bigger place in my heart right now than even your daddy does, and I love him a lot. I can’t wait to meet you guys, to hold you in my arms.”

Ash smiled and sighed softly as he continued caressing his belly, his eyes soon fluttering shut as he drifted off to sleep.

Notes