Finding Grace

Andy POV

"You're fucked, man," Ashley told me as I stepped through the studio door, and I blinked at him in confusion.
"Over what?"
"You went to see Juliet?" Jinxx scowled at me from the couch, and I stiffened, wondering how the hell he knew that.
"Andy, Leah is about to have your freaking kid!" Jake started, glaring at me. "What is wrong with you?"
"What the hell is this?" I frowned at all the guys. "How do you even ---?"
"Leah texted me asking when the meeting was." Ashley told me, crossing his arms judgementally. "I told her what time it was, and asked if you would be late, and she told me that depended on Juliet and the coffee shop."
Oh shit.
How did she know?
I hesitated, then reached for my phone in my back pocket hastily, only to realize I didn’t have it. I looked down, panicked, patting all of my pockets and only feeling my wallet.
Shit.
I must've left my phone at home.
"What is wrong with you, man?" Jinxx asked me, shaking his head. "She's seven months pregnant! You can't be messing around on her!"
"I'm not messing around on Leah," I scowled at them, wondering whose side they were really on. "I swear. I just had coffee with Juliet, that's It."
"Well your just coffee has I'm sure put Leah in a mood," Ash told me. "She's going to rip you in half the second you step through that door tonight, and none of us are going to save you! You're ---."
"Look, it's no ones business, alright?" I snapped, glaring at all three of them. "Leah knows we still talk, it's not like ---."
"Talking, sure, but seeing each other out in a public place where people can get pictures of you?" Ashley snapped, rising to his feet. "Are you trying to publically embarrass yourself and her? She can't get stressed out right now, Andy!"
"What the hell are you, her mouthpiece? Leah's perfectly fine!"
"Do you want to upset her so badly she goes into labor again?" Jake demanded, he and Jinxx jumping to their feet as well. "Because that's what's going to happen! She's in a fragile state as it is, being on bedrest! Grow up!"
"I didn't do anything wrong!"
"Then why are you being so defensive?" he spat, looking furious at me; I don't think I'd ever seen Jake so angry before. "You took a vow, AndY! You took a vow to be faithful, and honest, and to be there for her --- what are you doing? If you didn't take it seriously you never should have married her!"
We all just kind of looked at himm, startled.
"Jake---."
"Go home to your wife and clean this mess up, do you hear me? She is about to have your child! It might have been an accident, I get that. Neither of you might have wanted it, but it's about to be here, and you need to step up and fucking deal with it!"
"I AM dealing with it! Everything is ready ---- were ready!" I snapped, glaring at the three of them. "II'm not messing up, I only went to see Juliet to hash --- because we're friends, nothing more, that's been over with for a long time."
"NNot because you wanted it to be," Ash reminded me, his arms crossed. "BBut because you fucked up. And it wasn't long after that you took up with Leah. Look, man, if she was meant to be a rebound, I could understand, but you got her pregnant. She's your responsibility now, so is that kid, and this is a fuck up you can't get out of or make go away. You married her, now be a husband!"
"II AM ahusband!" I squawked, refusing to just let them brow beat me. "Jeeez, whose side are all of you on?"
"The side that does the right thing," Jinxx informed me. "and because Leah doesn't deserve to be cheated on. Don't you think she had a hard enough time with her ex? It took her months to even open up to you, do you remember any of that? You worked so hard to get her to like you and be your girlfriend, and now you're just pissing it all away like none of that even mattered. Have you made your conquest now you're done?"
They were making me mad at myself, mad at them, Leah --- all of this was bullshit.
It wasnt like that at all.
Fuck.
It wasnt like me and Leah had been on the path to marriage when Warped started, let alone having a family together.
We'd been on the verge of breaking up, even I'd been able to see that, I'd just put it off because --- because I'd thought I'd loved her and I didn't want to lose her.
getting pregnant had never been part of the plan.
none of this had.
I sighed, sitting down heavily on one of the couches, running my hands over my face.
"Whhat am I supposed to do, huh?" I asked, glancing up at them where they still towered together in an avenging circle. "YOOh don't get what it's like, being there every single day. Her mood swings, random fits of crying --- she threw the hairdryer at me yesterday. The hairdryer."
"You probably deserved it," Ash to me dryly, sitting down beside me.
"Loook, I'm married too, yknow," Jinxx told me, him and Jake sitting down as well, the tension starting to melt away. "II know it's really hard. The first year is always the worst, especially getting used to each other; yours is even worse because neither of you even wanted to be with each other anymore."
I hesitated, my eyes flicking to his face.
"Anndy, none of us are idiots," Jake sighed. "EEveryone with eyes could see you two weren't getting along anymore. You can't tell me that you would have married her if she hadnt gotten pregnant. "
"SShe wouldn't have married me, you mean," I muttered.
Leah had never wanted to get married.
She had this fear shed end up like her mother so much she'd refused herself a lot of things.
But I guess I couldn't blame her.
I'd never met her mother, I doubted I ever would, and Leah hated to talk about her anymore then was strictly necessary; Danny had told me some stuff, about how when their dad had died she'd just kind of lost it.
Leah didn't mention her nightmares anymore, but I knew she still had them.
about her mom, Romochka... fuck, probably me now as shitty ad I was sometime s.
I wasn't perfect here, I didn't know what to do all the time, I didn't know what was the right decision to make --- hell, I couldn't even pick out the right color of Pink for the baby's room.
I felt like I couldn't do anything right anymore, not where she was concerned.
How could I be a good dad if I couldn't even get the husband part right?
I didn't know what to do, I just couldn't be there all the time anymore --- I had to get away.
We weren't happy together, I knew that, but we'd gotten pretty good at pretending we were.
except when I fucked it up.

Notes

Sorry about the random updates, I'm really swamped right now.
Looks like andys having some issues, huh?


Sorry about the errors, I'm on my phone and it's absolutely awful!