Finding Grace

"Ashleys throwing his Christmas party on the twenty - third this time," Andy called from the bathroom as he brushed his teeth.
I grimaced.
"Why is he doing it so early?"
"Him and Morgan wanna spend Christmas eve just them this year, I guess. That's what he told me, in so many words. I think Morgan is bullying him."
I could see her taking the reins.
"Did she come last year?"
"She was there, she was just a little late, I think. I remember seeing her anyway."
I didn't, but that had been a really long time ago.
"Oh. Are you gonna go?"
He hesitated. "Probably not. I don't wanna leave you here by yourself."
"I wouldn't be by myself." I frowned; I didn't want him to miss out on Ashleys parties, he loved going to those.
I felt like I held him back enough as it was.
"Andy, I want you to go --- you don't see the guys enough, and you love his parties."
"Leah, you'd be here by yourself, and ---."
"I'm not gonna be by myself," I rolled my eyes. "I can have someone come over."
I just had no idea who.
I hesitated thoughtfully.
Vales parents were coming up here for Christmas, so while Vale and everyone else went to the Christmas party, her parents could just come and stay with me until Andy got back.
Vales mom was going to stay up here anyway because I would be so close to my due date, which they had figured for the twenty - seventh, ironically. Ash had been excited to hear that, considering it was one day before his own.
Andy had decided that he would just cancel his tour, because if he left he would miss the baby's birth and leave me alone with it completely for the first couple weeks, and I was pretty sure I'd have a mental break down if I had to handle all of it by myself.
I wished he wouldn't have to sacrifice so much, though. He said he'd talked it over with the guys first and they'd all agreed that it would be best if he stayed, because we all knew my band wasn't going to be very helpful.
Vale was unable to take care of herself, let alone help me with a baby, and Clarke was still so far up Claras ass none if us were on good terms with him right now; and Nate was still partying too much.
I wouldn't dare even mention Xavier around Andy.
I sighed, tucking an errant strand of hair behind my ear.
I couldn't do this by myself.
I felt Gracie shuffle again, kicking erratically for a few minutes like she was trying to play soccer, and I winced as she hit my ribs.
I wrapped my arms around myself, leaning forward ever so slightly.
I hated it when she did this; I'd heard about babies breaking their mothers ribs sometimes when they flailed around, so I was really hoping that wasn't going to happen to me.
Like I could not deal with that.
"Leah?" I heard Andy ask in concern, suddenly kneeling down beside the couch, half-dressed. "What's wrong?"
"Urgh, she's just moving again," I mumbled, feeling her kick again with a vengeance. "Kicking a lot."
Andy frowned, and reached forward, letting his hand rest on my stomach.
"Hey, little baby," he said gently, his deep voice soothing. "Don't be so mean to your mommy, okay? She's been awful good to you."
He pressed his lips against my stomach, and I chuckled slightly, amused. He'd gotten over his embarrassment of baby talk, and now I think he talked to her more then he did me, singing to her softly and telling little stories.
She was probably going to come out dressed in black clothes with a rebel yell.
I chuckled at the thought, and felt her settle the more he talked to her, making it easier on me.
I relaxed, leaning back against the pillows that were stacked behind me, and Andy gave me stomach a content pat before slowly rising to his feet.
"Better?"
"Ugh, yes, she only seems to calm down for you," I sighed, closing my eyes.
A lot of the baby gifts from the shower were still in the living room, I hadn't had a chance to really move them over into her room, or basically move off the couch much at all.
It was getting kind of hard to walk, for some reason.
My legs kept swelling, and I had to huff now, I was getting so heavy.
This was ridiculous.
I was only seven months pregnant.
I wouldnt be eight until next month, but I was really starting to have some difficulties.
Fuck.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay home today?" Andy asked after a moment, feeling my forehead. "You're kind of warm, Leah. You're not getting sick, are you?"
He sounded so worried.
"No, I'm not," I sighed. "The baby shower just really wore me out."
"I can stay," he said again, looking hesitant. He was supposed to be going out to meet the guys for some band meeting discussing something that he had told me but I had stopped listening, and he really shouldn’t miss it.
"You're going to be late if you don’t hurry," I told him, forcing a smile. "You'd better zip your pants."
He looked down, then hastily did so.
He pressed his lips to my forehead, then hurried into the bedroom to finish getting dressed.
I shuffled slightly, and messed around on my phone until he left the bedroom again, dressed in one of my favorite shirts.
It was black, button up, and had the word Prophet scrawled across the back in elegant words. The studio had designed it to go into one of the music videos, but they'd ended up not using it, so he'd just ended up keeping it.
And he was wearing cologne?
He gave me a quick kiss before he took off for the door, in a rather big hurry to see the guys.
Why was he wearing cologne for the guys?
I frowned.
I heard something buzz, and glanced over at the counter, seeing he'd left his phone.
He always forgot something.
I sighed, and then slowly rose to my feet, shuffling over in that direction before it buzzed itself off into the floor.
I picked it up, quickly typing in the passcode.
He had three texts that had all come in simultaneously, all from one person.
Who I was not fond of him talking too.
I shouldnt read the text from Juliet, I knew I shouldnt, but why was she sending him such long texts? Why were they talking so much?
I talked to Xavier, but we were friends and I was literally about to have a kid here, so there was no worries there.
Andy, however, was still free to use his dick however he wanted, despite the fact he'd married me.
So what was going on?
I pushed aside my guilty conscience and clicked on the texts quickly, scrolling down to the message she'd sent.

Juliet: Andy, come on, don’t be such a wuss. You're gonna be a great dad! You just need to get used to the idea of having someone else rely on you, that’s all.
Juliet: And yeah, I miss you too, but we made our decision, yknow? Or rather you did when you slept with that girl. Leahs a good person, rabbit, so you gotta be good to her! You made your bed, now sleep in it.
Juliet: And dont be late this time! I expect to see you at the coffee shop in ten minutes, got it?

I felt a little sick.
Was he not going to meet the guys at all, then?
He was going to meet Juliet.
Why didn’t he just tell me that?
I marked the texts as unread before I locked his phone and set it back on the counter, moving hastily back to the couch, my emotions ravaging through my brain.
Fuck!
He was seeing Juliet; pretty, blonde, skinny, not pregnant Juliet.
For coffee?
I sat down rather heavily on the couch, wanting to cry.
I'd thought everything was going really well between us now; I was reigning in every smart remark that came to my lips, and he was trying to be a lot more attentive, it seemed like, and I'd thought --- were we not good?
I started to cry, like I did over everything.
I pressed my hands over my face, sniveling, aggravated at myself for being so weak and emotional.
I wanted to be myself again, not like this.
I felt miserable.
Gracie started to move around again, and I flinched as she knocked into my ribs.
Getting upset wasn’t going to help anything, I reminded myself, mopping at my face.
Maybe he was just gonna see her there for a minute and then head straight to the studio.
I grabbed my phone, texting Ash quickly to ask when their meeting started.
Ashley: starts about two, is Andy gonna be late again?
It was eleven thirty.
I felt my temper spark, and I gritted my teeth, breathing heavily through my nose.
Me: You'd have to ask Juliet if she's going to keep him long at the coffee shop
I hit send angrily, and then tossed my phone away from me, pissed off and ready to rip his head off as soon as he came home.
He'd better not come home.
He was so freaking dead.

Notes