Finding Grace

I stood at the meet and greet table, signing autographs and laughing on cue when people teased or talked about my baby bump. All the fans seemed excited for me, talking and chattering happily, hoping it was a boy or girl, cooing over name ideas.
It was all very sweet.
Clarke was beside me, texting his devil witch between fans, ignoring Vales vile look.
We were in Georgia, so the sun was hot and I was relieved to be under a tent, fans blowing behind us.
I was also incredibly nervous because this was my home state.
Vales parents were gonna be here some time today to visit, and they'd made it a point to me that they wanted to see me, and no doubt grouch at me as parents do because I got pregnant prematurely.
My eyes slipped down the line of fans, seeing a bunch of guys in some military attire waiting, chuckling and laughing with the fans dressed in black and other heat-attracting colors.
I was dying and I was in a white tank top; I really needed to go shopping for some new clothes.
I sighed, fanning myself with an autograph book, my skin burning up. I forced smiles as more fans neared, Nate happily hugging the girls whenever they wanted.
"Wasn't it nice of Juliet to congratulate you guys?" one of the fans laughed. "There must not be any hard feelings between all you guys."
What?
"Um, I guess so," I agreed, watching as she moved away.
I stepped back, checking twitter hastily as I got a sip of water.
That bitch.
Juliet had congratulated us publically over the announcement of our baby, giving all her blessings.
We didn't need her blessings!
Miffed, I exited the app, slipping my phone back in my sweaty pocket. I probably shouldn't have worn my heels today, but I'd wanted to look cute before no matter what I wore I looked like a cow.
My eyes drifted back to the military guys as they got close enough for me to see their faces, and my breath caught in excitement.
"Daniil!" I squealed thoughtlessly, and darted from the table and into the fans, throwing myself at my brother. He laughed, hugging me tightly, all of the fans shuffling in surprise.
"I thought you were in Florida!"
"They transferred me up here," he said, leaning away from me. He glanced down at my stomach, raising his brows.
"You weren't joking about the bun in the oven, huh, Liliya?"
I started to cry.
"I missed you so much, I thought I wasn't gonna get to see you!"
"Aww, don't cry," he said quickly, grabbing my hand and dragging me back to my table, other bands sending us curious looks, and all of the fans were staring, obviously wondering who Daniil was.
"Is she crying again?" Vale rolled her eyes, flashing my brother a smile. "Hey, Danny."
"Hey, guys."
I sniffled, moping at my face and running make up.
"All I do is cry anymore," I complained, Danny wiping my face with a paper towel, chuckling.
"How are you feeling, Liliya?" he asked, switching to Russian.
"I'm okay. It could be better," I sighed, my native language rolling easily off my tongue. "I hurt and cry all the time now."
"So it's normal," he teased me, and I smacked his shoulder, laughing. His hair had lightened in the sun, though he was still the size of a mountain. I hugged him again, inhaling his scent, wishing I could keep him around.
But I had to greet the other fans, so I reluctantly pulled away from him and did my job, explaining he was my brother when they asked.
His military guys finally reached us, Vale oggling them appreciatively; who didn't love a man in uniform? Especially when they filled it out in all the right places.
I was pregnant, not blind.
"Lee, this is Ted and James," Daniil introduced them. I flashed them a smile, and they grinned at me, one of them shifting his weight constantly, nervous.
"Nice to meet you. We all thought Danny was pulling our leg when he said you were his sister," the calm one said, tattoos running down his hands.
"Well, I can always disown him if that helps," I laughed, my mood immeasurably better at getting to see my brother. His friends shuffled out of the way behind the table to wait as we finished up with our fans, Clarke sending Danny an uncomfortable look.
Yeah, Clarke, you're sleeping with the bitch who slept with my brother too.
Gross, isn't it?
I was relieved when the meet and greet was over, and I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist, leaning my head against him. He chuckled, holding me, and I sighed.
I'd been needing someone to hold me.
Actually, any physical touch that wasn't someone being creepy and wanting to touch my stomach made me feel better.
Andy hadn't really touched me much since I'd told him I was pregnant other then holding my hand and occasionally kissing me, and I was starting to feel like he didn't want to look at me or be with me because I looked... I dunno, gross or something all bloated out.
It made me feel bad.
I felt my eyes swim again, but I squeezed them shut, fighting it.
"It's okay, Liliya," Danny said gently in Russian, rubbing my back. "I'm here. Everything is gonna be okay."
"But it's not," I wept, shaking my head.
Danny sighed, and he pressed his lips into my hair, pulling away from me, my makeup smeared on his uniform.
His wiped my tears away with his thumbs.
His friends were happily chatting with the rest of my band, and Danny slipped his hand in mine, pulling me along until we found some vacant picnic tables while everyone attended the concerts.
"What's wrong?" he asked, stroking my black-streaked hair.
"I... Everything," I sniffled, feeling whinny. "All I do is cry, and I hurt and cramp all the time, and I don't know what to do with this," I motioned at my stomach. "And Andy doesn't wanna be with someone who looks like a fucking whale!"
"I'm sure that's not true," Danny said quickly. "He loves you! And its his baby, so he's gonna love it too. It doesn't matter what you look like."
"I feel gross all the time," I shook my head, my worries spilling from my mouth. "I don't blame him for not wanting to be around me."
"Leah," my brother frowned at me, stroking my hair and keeping me calm like he always knew to do, "I'm sure that's not it. He's probably having a hard time wrapping his head around it too."
"But he doesn't have to carry it around and look like a planet!"
"Ok, Juno, calm down," he chuckled, his hand patting my knee. "You're very small, actually. You wouldn't know you were pregnant if you didn't look hard enough. And you can't even tell from the back!"
I felt a little better. "Really?"
"Yep." he flashed me a white smile. "So see? Not so bad, right?"
I nodded. "I guess so. Oh, and I bought it some clothes! I found the cutest little onesie, it's yellow and has a little giraffe on it! Andy didn't like it," I frowned, "but that's because he wants a boy and doesn't think it'll be manly enough."
"What do you want?"
"I Don't care," I sighed. "I just want it to be healthy."
"Then I wouldn't worry about it," he smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners just like Dads used too.
It was comforting.
We had three other brothers, all older then Danny, and considerably older then me with their own families. Danny was in touch with some of them, but I had never bothered, they seeming like strangers to me.
Danny was the only family I needed.
I leaned my head against his shoulder, and he slipped his arm around me, kissing my forehead.
"I love you, Danny."
"I love you too, Liliya."
"Vales parents are gonna be here soon. Were you gonna see them?"
"Just text me when they get here," he told me, kissing me again. "I was gonna explore with the guys."
"I can show you around," I burst, straightening; I didn't want him to leave me just yet. "Give you a backstage tour!"
"Are you allowed to do that?"
"Who's gonna argue with a pregnant lady?" I scoffed, hopping to my feet. Danny chuckled, my hand latched onto his and dragging him behind me. We got his friends, Vale promising to text me when her parents arrived, and then I took them behind the stages, letting them oggle the other artists.
I giggled, seeing the tallest ones excited face as Ash Costello and Chris walked through, he sending me a wave and the guys a curious look.
"So are you guys all friends back here then?" the nervous one asked, and I shrugged.
"When you see each other so much, I guess you do become friends."
I glanced forward, seeing CC and Jinxx talking to Danny Worsnop, who was doing Warped for the last time as the singer of Asking Alexandria.
Where was Andy?
I looked around for him curiously, and I trailed over to where Ronnie and Jackie stood, getting ready for stage.
"Have you guys seen Andy?" I asked, Jackie flicking his hair out of his eyes. They both glanced behind me where Danny waited, looking ready to take down anything you threw at him.
"Uh," Ronnie hesitated. "If I say yes will your bodyguard try to beat me up?"
I blinked. "Danny? He's my older brother. And no."
"Do you have a lot of brothers?" Jackie looked surprised. "And are they all that scary looking?"
I snorted. "I have four including him. Why? What's this have to do with Andy?"
Ronnie started to chew his gum quickly, nervously.
"Ronnie," I narrowed my gaze at him, my hands going to my hips. "Where the fuck is he?"
"I gotta run," Jackie burst, whirling around and taking off toward the stage, and Ronnie glared after him.
"Leah, last I saw him he was off by stage three ten minutes ago."
"Who was playing?"
"I dunno."
"Who was playing?" I hissed, like I didn't already know.
Like she hadn't congratulated us on our baby hours ago.
Why couldn't he stay away from her? He'd promised me!
Ronnie twisted his lips unhappily.
"Juliet Simms. But don't go storming over there!" he added quickly at my look. "He wanted to thank her for the baby thing, that's all."
He glanced at my growing stomach; if anyone had thought I was faking it, like I was suspecting some had, it was blaringly obvious I wasn't.
And he'd promised me he wouldn't talk to her ever again.
I turned away from Ronnie, forcing a smile at Danny.
Well, Andy could just talk to Juliet all he wanted, I wasn't going to worry about it.
Nor was I going to worry about his calls or texts either.

Andy POV

I'd been trying to call Leah for the past hour, and it was starting to piss me off that she was purposefully sending me to voicemail. What could I have possibly done to piss her off this time?
Jeez, everything pissed her off anymore, I didn't even know how to act to keep her calm.
I trudged past the stages, glancing around for some of her bandmates. She'd mentioned something about Vale's parents coming to visit, and I could remember them from Christmas; Vale had nearly had a heart attack because she'd thought they would castrate CC and perform some kind of exorcism to get us guys away from their baby girls.
Turned out, they liked us.
So there was no reason to worry.
So did Leah just not want me around them for some reason? Was she embarrassed?
Of me?
I frowned, my pace slowing.
Was she that unhappy with the fact she was pregnant with my kid that she didn't even want me around? She made me feel that way sometimes with the way she looked at me or how she never really wanted to be in public anywhere...
Damn, she hardly let me touch her as it was.
I huffed, calling her again, and I heard her ringtone, so I raised my head, seeing her black and blonde hair a good distance up the line from me, a guy in military attire standing beside her, her arms draped all over him.
Who the fuck was that?
I ended the call before she had a chance to reach into her pocket, and stalked forward; why was he touching my woman?
My pregnant woman.
MY woman.
Pissed, I stepped forward, glancing as I saw Vales parents hugging her and Clarke, two other guys in uniform standing to the side, chatting to themselves.
"Leah," I said, and she looked back, her makeup running and her cheeks red as usual.
"Andy," she forced a smile at me, not looking happy to see me, and the guy in uniform turned.
I relaxed.
"Hey, Danny," I said, sending him a grin.
"Andy," he nodded back at me, and I looked down at his sister, no longer feeling threatened.
She loved her brother to no end, and he was always there for her, and just a good guy in general.
Also very protective, I reminded myself, deciding to step lightly.
Leah curled her fingers through mine, her cute little bump visible in her off-white tank with black curly writing supporting a brand name I didn't recognize.
"Did you get done talking to Juliet?" she asked lightly, where only I and maybe Danny could hear.
I frowned; why would I be talking to her?
"No? I haven't talked to her, I said I wouldn't."
She looked at me disbelievingly, her eyes narrowed. "So you weren't a stage three where she was performing?"
"I was at stage three but I was talking to Vic and Kellin," I looked at her in amusement. "They went on after her. I swear, on my honor."
Her dark look slowly formed into confusion. "But Ronnie said..."
"He was confused," I told her, chuckling; so she was still jealous.
I might have fucked up a few times, but I wouldn't go back on my word to her.
I pressed a kiss to her knuckles, and Vales parents turned, her mother noticing my arrival and launching herself at the two of us, Danny narrowly escaping her hug.
"Look at my baby!" she crooned, nearly choking me down. I hesitated, not sure whether to hug or back or not.
She pulled away, blinking back tears as she looked down at Leah.
"You have a bump already!" she burst, hugging just Leah again. "Oh my goodness! We're having a grandbaby already! I honestly thought it would be Valerie first."
"Mom!"
"Oh, but, Leah, you must be so excited!" she sniffled. "Is it a boy or girl?"
"Um, I don't know," Leah shrugged, looking awkward at all the attention. "I'm only just four months."
"I hope it's a girl! Then she can wear some of you and Valerie's old outfits, and I can crochet her the cutest little diaper cover to wear, and ---."
Why did everyone want a girl?
Personally, I would love the baby either way, but I really wanted a boy, someone to carry on my name and I could rough house with.
Besides, if it was too hard on Leah and we ended up not being able to stay together, I didn't want to have children with several different women, it just didn't seem right.
Plus my dad would probably punch me; he didn't believe in that either. That was why he wanted me to marry Leah, make it right. Then, if we wanted, we could have as many kids as we wanted and it would be perfectly acceptable in his eyes.
I sent her a curious look.
She'd got all pissy at the mention of marriage before, but maybe I hadn't handled it right.
I loved her to death, and I couldn't imagine any future without her. And now when I did think about the future, it always included her and a little screaming gray bundle that we were happy about.
I wanted to be happy about it.
But it freaked me the fuck out realizing I was gonna be a dad; I wasn't good enough to be a parent, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do. What do you even buy for a kid when you're expecting? And we wouldn't have much time to change up my spare room, and Leah sure as hell wouldn't be able to do a lot of the heavy work, not that she had been able to before with her weak arms.
So the guys were gonna have to pitch in.
We were a family after all.
And our kid was gonna have so many uncles, and one aunt, I thought, glancing at Vale, that it wasn't gonna know what to do with.
And probably a mohawk despite Leah's best efforts to stop it.
I chuckled, imagining her tantrum when CC or Vale came home with it.
She would murder them.
Leah glanced up curiously at my chuckle, and I turned, slipping my arms around her. I leaned down, pressing a kiss against her warm cheek.
"I love you, angel," I murmured, feeling her fingers tighten on my vest. "You know that, right?"
"Sometimes." she replied, a little sullenly.
My lips twitched, and I feathered her face in kisses, knowing she hated it.
"All the time!" she amended, and I grinned, leaning away from her, seeing her eyes amused.
That's what I thought.
I tilted her chin up, and pressed my lips against hers, wanting to remind her that I did love her.
And maybe soften her up before I brought up marriage again.

Notes

Here's a long chapter for you guys!