Finding Grace

"Leah?"
Oh god.
Oh god no!
"Leah, are you okay?"
This had to be wrong, it had to be!
I wasn't pregnant, no way!
I had taken so many precautions!
My eyes flicked back to all the moments we hadn't been careful.
I pressed my face into my hands.
"Leah, what the hell?"
The handle moved, and I was incredibly aggravated with myself for not locking the door as Ashley stepped inside the small bathroom worriedly, his eyes flicking to my bloodless face.
"What is it?" he asked. "Are you okay?"
Everything was over, ruined.
I had messed up again.
"Lee... Oh." Ashleys eyes hit on the test, and some of the bags in his arms fell. "Oh shit."
His eyes widened as they drifted to my face. "Is it..?"
Tears welled in my eyes.
"Everything is ruined," I started to weep.
Ashley took a step towards me, but paused to kick and lock the door behind him He sat all his bags down and to my side, staring down at the test.
"It could be false," he offered weakly, brown eyes searching my devastated expression. "It happens."
"It's over," I whispered bleakly.
All my music career, all of my bands! It was coming to a screeching halt because I couldn't keep my legs closed when I should have, didn't have any self-control!
I could see my mother looming in the background, the words she'd screamed at me flooding back.
"Don't crawl back to me when you're barefoot and pregnant, you little whore! We know it won't take you long! You mess up more then you help!"
She was right, she was always right; I had ruined everything.
I whimpered, curling in on myself as I sunk heavily to the floor, panicking.
What was I gonna do?
Andy would die.
My throat constricted. How would I ever tell him?
You don't have to, that niggling voice told me. You could just get rid of it.
No!
It would make everything so much easier, solve all the problems, it continued calmly. You're going to ruin your career, his --- all of your band just because you weren't careful!
"Leah? God, breathe girl!" Ashley grabbed my shoulders, tearing me out of my stricken thoughts. "Breathe! It's not the end of the world!"
"It's the end of everything," I wept. "It'll ruin everything! Our careers, o-our freedom --- it's over! He'll never forgive me," I whimpered. "It's all my fault."
"Hey, it takes two to tango, babe," Ashley patted my shoulder
awkwardly. "He had just as much to do with it as you did." "He'll be so mad," I whispered, feeling his arm slide comfortingly around me.
"He'll be excited," Ashley corrected. "Andy always wanted some rugrats."
"Not right now! I'm twenty years old --- I can't even buy alcohol," I blubbered.
"Come on, Leah, stop freaking out. You guys will figure it out." he squeezed my shoulders.
"Don't tell him!" I suddenly gasped in fear, turning my eyes to his. "Please don't tell him Ashley!"
"I wouldn't dare," he assured me, looking worried. "But what are you gonna do? You have to tell him."
"I --- I will."
Eventually.
I wanted to be one hundred percent sure before I wrecked his life completely.
I needed to make a doctors appointment, call Dr. Roma --- I couldn't take any of my meds, I realized, so I was going to be an absolute wreck.
Even more so then I was already.
I felt nausea sweep through me --- at least now it made more sense --- and I jerked away from Ashley and darted to the toilet.
I wished I could just die.

Notes

WELP, Leah isn't handling the news well.
Will Andy?
Btw you guys, updates might be slow or lacking since it's the weekend and this is when I get busY.
However, I also write some MIW fan fiction jnder the same pen name.
Check them out!
Time to Survive
Self-Destructive