Finding Grace

I held my hair back as I puked, hiding out in the bus bathroom while everyone else was enjoying the summer days of Warped.
God, I was miserable.
I gagged, and then let my fingers flush as I leaned back against the wall, disgusted.
I hadn't even eaten anything today! Why was I so sick? I'd been taking my medicine right!
Mostly.
Okay, a little.
Or not at all.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair.
I had gained three pounds, according to my scales, which was completely ridiculous. I mean, come on, three?
No more peanut butter.
But I'd gained three in one month. How did that make sense?
I frowned at myself.
I mean, I couldn't be...?
No, I wrinkled my nose at the thought.
No freaking way.
I was on birth control, for one, plus my anxiety meds made conception considerably low.
So there.
There's that.
And I didn't even have a period!
Like that had completely stopped.
So.
Sooo.
Fuck, now I needed to know.
I clambered to my feet and burst out of the bathroom, grabbing my purse and quickly checking my money before hurrying off the bus and leaving the gates of Warped behind as I made a mad dash for the nearest convenience store.
I mean, it's not possible.
Birth control pills, plus condoms, plus anxiety meds, plus us just being fucking careful regardless should make it an impossibility!
Well, okay, so we weren't super careful.
Oh god! I felt my stomach drop in fear.
I couldn't be... Could I?
I couldn't even think the word!
I dashed into the rather large CVS, my eyes flicking to the hanging signs that told --- oh god, baby needs.
I felt green at the thought.
I desperately avoided that aisle as I headed for the female items, finally finding the, I cringed at the word, pregnancy tests.
I stood there, feeling my face whiten as I looked at all the different kinds, some really cheap and some unbelievably expensive.
I could wait between one and five minutes to know, depending on the brand.
Oh god, how was I supposed to pick? How was I to know which one was a good one?
I chewed my lip as I picked up a random one, reading the directions.
It wasn't exactly complicated.
I took a step back anxiously.
This couldn't be right.
I looked down at the one in my hand worriedly.
"Leah?" I jerked, quickly hiding the test behind me as Ashley paused mid-stride, his arms full of snacks.
"Ashley! Um, hi," I said weakly.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" he blinked at me, his dark hair in a knot behind his head.
"Uh," my eyes trailed over for an excuse. "We needed tampons."
"Oh." he grimaced. "Nice. When's your next show?"
"Seven."
"Cool. You wanna get something to eat when we get outta here? I promised the guys I'd bring shit back."
"Yeah, that sounds fine." I nodded, wishing he'd leave. "But I gotta look through this first."
"Right! I gotta get some stuff anyway so I'll find you," he bobbed his head and disappeared, and I let my breath go.
That had almost been a disaster.
I frowned, looking at the test again.
It was the only way I was gonna know.
I sucked in a calming breath, then darted hastily to the counter when I saw it was clear.
The young girl gave me a pitying look I didn't appreciate as she rung me up and handed me the bag.
I took a few steps back, and looked around for Ashley, finding him in the chip aisle debating between cheetos and funyuns.
"Both," I said as I headed towards the bathroom. "Don't skimp on deliciousness."
He grinned.
I made it to the bathroom and shut the door, immediately grabbing the test out of the bag and twisting it nervously between my fingers.
Just get it over with!
Reluctantly, and extremely glad I had to pee, I took the test.
I sat it on the sink counter when I was done, my throat tight as I prayed for the negative sign to appear and alleviate my fear.
"Yo, sassy pants, you in there?" there was a knocking on the door, and I huffed.
Couldn't I have a mild panic attack in peace?
"Yeah, Ash, gimme a minute and we'll go get food!" I called.
"Fine. I'll go check out and wait for you!"
"Fine," my eyes wandered back to the test, and I stared at the two pink lines that had suddenly appeared on the stick.
A strangled cry of horror left my throat.
NO!

Notes

Dun Dun DUN