Our Family

Friday.


Mom's on her way back home today, part of that makes me sad. I can't cuddle with my dad or kiss his perfect lips. But there's a plus for her coming home, she always brings back some cool gifts she finds. Last year, she went to Scotland and brought back a mini Stonehenge. Okay that's not much, but it's hard to think of positives when your mind is full of negatives.

I don't know what it is, but lately I've been feeling really down. I haven't told my dad or anyone really, but the feeling is becoming stronger and I'm hesitant to tell. What if it never goes away? What if I'm stuck feeling like the darkness is pulling me down into a six foot deep hole? I don't know anymore, I just don't know. Maybe I can talk to mom about it when she gets home.

Mom's gonna be really surprised when she gets home. While she was gone, dad and I didn't do the dishes, laundry, pretty much any kind of housework whatsoever. Plus I dyed my hair blue.

Well it looks like I'm gonna have to start getting ready for school, fuck my life. I put on my Bring Me The Horizon Tshirt, black leggings, and black high top converse. I decide not to do make up and run downstairs. My dad's not here, that's weird. Hmm, guess I'm gonna have to walk. And off I go to hell, I mean school.




After school.


My day was great if you don't count the classes. It turns out I'm failing two of my classes, oh well. I get into the house, drop my bag at the front door, and lye down on the couch in the living room. I just want this day to end, I just want this feeling to end.

"Lily I'm home!" Mom yells as she opens the door. She walks into the living room and kneels down beside me.

"Honey, why are you crying?" She asks wiping away my tears. I didn't even know I was crying till she got here.

"I don't know." I say softly. I sit up and my mom sits beside me, wrapping her arms around my shaking body.

"What do you mean sweetheart?"

"I don't know why I'm crying, I've just been feeling really down lately."

"For how long?"

"Since Tuesday."

"Okay. Have you hurt yourself at all?"

"No."

"Good, I know something that might cheer you up. You and me, ice cream, pyjamas, and movies. How does that sound to you?"

"Okay."

"Okay I'll be right back, I have to go get us the ice cream." She kisses my forehead and gets up. "Hun, is your dad home?"

"No, I haven't seen him all day." I reply.

"Okay, I'll be right back, don't move." She grabs her keys and walks out the door.


Ten minutes later.

"Lily I'm home!" My dad yells as he enters the house. I quickly wipe my tears away and cover my face with the blanket.

"Lily, I can see you." He says with a chuckle. I let go of the blanket and his face becomes empathetic.

"Honey what's wrong?"

"Don't worry about it, mom will be back any minute." I say softly.

"Lily just tell me what's wrong."

"That's the thing, I'm not sure." He sits down, pulls me onto his lap, and holds me tightly as the tears start flowing again.

"Shh, you'll be okay." He says softly.

"How do you know? How could you possibly know that?" I ask.

"Because I'm your dad, and babygirl, you'll be okay."

The front door slams shut. "Lily I'm back!" My mom yells and rushes into the living room. "I got you your favourite ice cream, so why don't you go change into your pjs and I'll put on some Batman." I nod, remove myself from dad, and walk upstairs.

As I'm changing into my pikachu onesie, I over hear my parent's conversation.

"Andy what do you thinks wrong with her?" Mom asks.

"Nothing's wrong with her Jules, she might just be going through something." Dad says.

"What if you're wrong? What if she needs help that you and me can't give her?" She asks.

"Relax, she'll be fine. And if she does need help, we will be there making sure she gets what she needs."

"I love you White Rabbit."

"I love you Dragonfly."

Now I feel worse, I feel so guilty. I've been coming between their relationship. Now I'm going to be even more stress on them too. Especially if there's something really wrong with me. I don't want to be a problem, I don't want to get in the way of things.

I walk downstairs, grab my bucket of ice cream with a spoon, and sit on the couch.

"How are you doing Lils?" Dad asks.

"Fine." Far from it.

"Are you sure sweetie?"

"I'm fine! Go have dinner with mom or something."

"Wow, why are you so angry?"

"Just go." He gets up and leaves the room.

Why was I so angry with him? What if there is something wrong with me?

Notes

Shout outs:

Courtney bvb forever
Rockcandypanda
Music_is_the_religon
EmmaFaye_bvb


love ya<3