My Fallen Angel

I felt silly, making Ashlandil sleep on the couch instead of in his own bed. It was completely ridiculous, we'd slept in the same bed so many times before it shouldn't even phase me. The entire time we'd been in the hotel we'd shared one, I'd just been really doped up and out of it.
I sighed, sinking down lower into the couch cushions, pulling the fuzzy blanket across my lap..
He'd left to get actual groceries, I suppose so we wouldn't have to survive off take-out and he was tired of me whining. And here I was, sitting. I felt like I should be up doing something, but I wasn't sure what. I didn't know how to use his washing machine, otherwise I. Could help with the laundry that we'd accumulated. And I definitely didn't know how to use his weird dish washing thing with all the buttons, it looked complicated.
I didnt want to mess any of his nice things up.
Sigh.
I propped my chin on my hand, blankly gazing at the TV as some show about witches stealing youth with bad teeth played.
What was taking him so long anyway?
He'd already been gone an hour, had he stopped to feed?
I frowned.
I hadn't fed in a while, actually. I hadn't been with anyone since, what, Andy? Or had it been Cronus? I wasn't even sure.
But it hadn't been that long, either.
So maybe I was fine.
Besides, he had to feed a lot more often then I did.
Hmm.
I glanced at the door, cringing internally as someone knocked on it. Did he order more things again? We'd been back a week and already there'd been three different packages delivered.
The knocking became more intense.
The person apparently wasn't going away no matter how much I ignored them.
Grumbling, I hefted myself off the couch, stepping over to the door and wrenching it open, prepared to tell the mortal exactly what I thought about their incessant knocking.
"What are you doing here?" I gasped.
Yes, Kenali, best opening sentence ever.
Andy winced, and he kind of hunched where he stood in the doorway, looking a little glum. Had he expected a better welcome?
"I, uh --- is Ash home?"
"No, he's out. Hell be back in a couple hours if you want to come back later."
Please don't come back later.
What was he doing here!?
I stared at him, my fingers knotting in my t shirt.
Did he want to talk about the baby? Why else would he be here? He and Ash hadn't gotten along since I'd come around, so this wasn't a friendly visit --- I'd never seen Andy here before.
He barely called Ashlan.
So what did he want?
This was incredibly awkward.
I shuffled anxiously.
"Oh... Kenna, can we talk?" he finally sighed, running one hand through his dark lockes. "Please? Just us?"
"About what?" as if I didn't know.
Andy frowned at me, and then stepped forward, making me step back so he could come into the apartment. I hesitated, watching him warily as he strode over to the couch, and then turned. blue eyes staring me down.
"About --- Kenna, come on," he scowled. "What do you think?"
I frowned as I shut the door. "WE don't have anything to talk about, Andy."
His frown only worsened. "Kenna, I'm not an idiot. You haven't slept with Ashley in months. Not since he did whatever it was that broke the two of you up. That kid isn't his."
I stiffened, crossing my arms quickly. "Yes it is."
No no no no no.
I had hoped he wouldn't think about it.
But he knew, didn't he? He knew it was his. So what was he doing here? From the way he'd reacted before, he didn't want it. He didn't want a baby, not with me or anyone right now. And I wasn't going to let this mess up his life or the what was planned out for him.
I would take care of this.
He wouldn't have to worry about it.
"No, it's not. Its mine, isn't it?" his gaze narrowed as he looked at me, and I fidgeted. "It is. So why the hell are you letting Ashley claim it? Why didn't you just tell me it's mine ---?"
"Because it's not yours!" I huffed, shaking my head quickly. "It's not your baby, Andy, it can't be, don't you understand? Even if it was, you don't want it. I could see it all over your face. You don't want a baby."
"Kenna." he actually looked pained as he looked at me. "You can't... If it's mine, I deserve to know, all right!? It's my responsibility if I'm the one who knocked you up!"
Responsibility?
Did he... Did he feel GUILTY?
was that the only reason he was here?
Not because he actually cared, but because he felt BAD about it?
I clenched my hands.
Fuck him.
Just --- UGH.
"It's. Not. Yours," I spoke through my teeth as I glared at him. "So don't worry your pretty little head about it, okay! Now get out --- before Ash comes home and sees you here."
He would probably have a coronary.
"Why are you so worried about him finding me here?" Andy abruptly challenged, taking a step toward me. I held my ground, watching him warily. "What's he gonna do if he knows I'm here? Is he gonna hurt you?"
"What? No, why ---?"
"You don't have to be afraid of him, Kenna," Andy shook his head, stepping until he was right in front of me. I gazed up at him, clenching my hands in my shirt, feeling my palms grow damp --- why was I so nervous? "I'm not gonna let him hurt you, okay? You don't have to be with him right now because he wants you too, because he, he wants to chain you down with a baby or ---."
"What? Andy, no, that's not what's happening at all!" I burst, horrified. "He wouldn't do something like that ---."
"Kenna, I've seen you two together! He scares you! Do you think all of us didn't hear you guys fighting all the time? What about when he's hit you, huh? I've seen the bruises he's left on you! Do you want him to do that to our kid!?"
Oh god.
I stared at him, unable to even form an answer. I wanted to say something, my lips were parted to speak, but nothing was coming out. I didn't know how too explain any of that --- not to him, not to any one.
He didn't understand.
And he never would.
How could he think so little of his best friend?
Ashlandil had never laid a hand against me like that --- we fought a lot, mostly because I didn't understand this world and neither of us made the best decisions. And because I was so in love with Andiel that I, that I ----.
"It's, it's not yours," I finally managed lamely, just staring up at him. My voice was coming out as a croak, and I didn't even sound convincing to myself.
I didn't know what else to say.
I couldn't explain anything to him.
"Kenna," Andy sighed, his hands rising slowly to cup my face, his thumbs caressing my cheeks. His hands were warm against my freezing skin, and I leaned into his touch absently. "Please. Just... Come be with me, okay? I want to be with you."
His voice was so low, so convincing...
"I know I messed up before, with Kennedi, and I can't even explain to you why I slept with her," he sighed, leaning down to press his forehead against mine. "I can't explain myself, because I don't know why I did it. I just know that I shouldn't have, that the entire time I was thinking about you and how much I felt like shit about it. Ash doesn't deserve you. Hell, I don't deserve you." He snorted, sounding so sad. "I just... I know that's my child, that's my baby in there, and I wanna take care of it. Of you."
I bit my lip.
He had no idea how much I wanted to be with him, how much I wanted to just relent and let him take me away from here and raise the child like normal, mortal parents.
How I wanted to pretend I was going to age with him, become gray-headed and wrinkled, have some kind of health problem or take out a mortgage for our home together or learn to cook for him --- all the things I'd seen mortal women on TV do.
But I couldn't, could I?
I couldn't have that life.
It had never been intended for me like that.
No, no I couldn't do that.
I could fantasize all I wanted, but it wouldn't happen.
He was meant for the other girl, to live a long life with her and have lots of babies to carry on his name. She was the only way he could fully experience what he needed too. I couldn't do that with him, and after a couple decades he would realize I wasn't... That I wasn't...
"I can't," I whispered, feeling the dampness rise in my eyes. "I can't be with you, Andy. I'm so sorry."
"Why can't you? Why can't you be with me?" he demanded, his entire body tensing. "I want you, Kenna!"
He wanted me, but he didn't care about me, not the way I wanted him too. Not his human self. He didn't know why he was so attracted to me, why he seemed unable to stay away from me, but it was because I was an angel. And so was he, just in mortal form.
Angels were drawn to each other.
And we... We....
"Please don't cry," Andy looked stricken. "Please, Kenna, I didn't mean to make you cry---."
His lips suddenly pressed against mine fervently, and he pulled me against him, his fingers tangling in my hair. I gasped in surprise, and moments later his tongue brushed mine.
For a few seconds, it was like my brain went numb, and all I could do was moan against his lips, my arms weaving tightly and eagerly around his neck. I pressed myself against him, wanting nothing more then for him to just take me, rip my clothes off and claim me as his, make me feel like he loved me.
That's what I wanted.
I felt my back suddenly pressing into the wall, and his hands were slipping beneath my t shirt, forcing it around my waist. He had never kissed me like this, so urgently, so... Wantonly.
Did he even know what he was doing?
I tore my lips from his, gasping for breath, only for his to go to my neck.
"Andy, w-wait!" I burst, my hands pressing against his shoulders. "S-stop!"
"I don't want to stop," he groaned in my ear, breath hot. "I don't want too."
"Please just --- stop!" I squawked, suddenly feeling panicked, and I wasn't sure where it came from. All my feelings of want suddenly went to a harsh, cold feeling of worry, and I just knew I didnt want him touching me, that something wasnt right.
Andys hand hovered between my thighs, his lips pausing against my neck, and I could feel it, how intensely he was having to restrain himself.
What was WRONG with him?
This didnt feel right to me, and his emotions, they were all scattered, I couldn't ---.
"Get off me!" I shoved against his shoulders. "We can't do this --- not here, Ash will ---."
"Fuck Ashley!" he snapped, making me jump. "He doesn't appreciate you at all! He's fucking obsessive and he's only going to ruin you, Kenna! And we can do whatever we want, can't we? I want you, you want me --- let's just ---."
"What is WRONG with you?" I gasped, smacking his hand away from my thighs angrily, my temper flaring. "He is your best friend! I'm not going to sleep with you, Andy, no matter how many lies you tell me!"
"Lies?" he almost looked hurt. "I didn't lie to you, Kenna. I wanna take care of you, our baby," his hand suddenly slipped down, pressing lightly against my stomach. My heart fluttered --- but it wasn't in happiness, it was in fear. Andy wasn't acting right, this wasn't like him at all ---.
"Get away from me," I whispered, my heart suddenly thundering in my ears. "Just get away!"
"But, Kenna ---."
"No!" I turned my face away as he tried to kiss me again, feeling more painful tears seep out of my eyes.
Andy wasn't like this, he wouldn't come in here and try to make me leave with him, continue to force me against the wall --- something was wrong, badly wrong!
"But I want you," it almost sounded like he was begging me as he pressed against me again, "You're what I want. Please!"
"Stop it!" Why couldnt I force him off of me!? Why was he so much stronger all of a sudden!?
I shoved at him, but it was like pressing against Ashlandil for all it was worth. It was like his inner angel abilities had come out, and because I hadn't fed, I was so much weaker then him ---.
"Please, Kenna, I need you," he murmured, kissing my neck again, voice husky. "He said I should take what I want, and that's you."
He?
Who was he!?
"Andy, no, stop it --- GET OFF OF ME!" I shrieked, fighting his hands desperately as he tried to open my jeans, panic flaring through my entire body. I couldn't let him do this, I wouldn't sleep with him! Something was wrong --- wrong, wrong, wrong!
His lips suddenly crushed mine, almost ramming me back against the wall, and I flinched as I felt the end table start to dig into my hip. I pushed at him frantically, trying to get away from him, and my panic was quickly turning to fear ---.
"STOP!"
he groaned against my lips, fingers biting into my face where he held it still, and I felt more tears spill down my cheeks --- why couldn't I make him stop? He was a bloody human!
Where was Ashlandil?
I needed him!
"Please, stop!" I croaked, feeling his teeth graze my neck, sending shivers down my spine immediately, my sin suddenly kicking in like someone had turned a key. "I don't want this, Andy! Stop!"
I was almost begging him.
"i can't stop," he gasped. "Not until I have what I want!"
"Then you better get it somewhere else, you fucker!"
Andy was suddenly being wrenched off of me, his face a mask of surprise as he sailed back, slamming into the couch so hard it flipped, sending him out of sight.
I felt my legs go out immediately, and I started to slip, hitting the floor hard on my hands, gasping for breath.
"Kenali!?" Ashlandils cold hands were suddenly cupping my face, and I sobbed, leaning into his safe touch immediately. "Shh, baby, I got you, I got you."
His arms closed around me, and I wept against his shoulder, my body starting to shake.
"Shh, shh, it's okay, love, it's okay," he whispered, rocking me back and forth, my eyes squeezed shut. "I'm here, baby. I'm here. What happened? What happened, Kenali?"
"He, he ---." I felt like I couldn't breathe, I was choking on my words, and my chest hurt so badly ---. "I c-couldnt make him s-stop! H-he w-wouldnt g-get o-off---."
Ashlandil tensed, and I felt his arms slip beneath my thighs, lifting me up abruptly. And then I felt the softness of the bed beneath me, but I refused to let him go, I was so scared --- what if he'd hurt my baby? What if ---!?
"Kenali, breathe, okay?" his soft red eyes suddenly caught mine, and I could feel his emotions, his calmness.
He was always so calm when I needed him to be.
I sucked in several shaky breathes, my hands clenching around his arms so he couldn't leave me.
"That's better," he murmured, stroking my hair where he knelt beside me. "Good girl. Now tell me what happened."
"I ---." My eyes flicked behind him to the living room where Andy was, unconscious. Ashlandil had thrown him hard, and the impact must have knocked him out.
Was he hurt!?
"He just came over, someone enamored him!" I burst, tightening my hold as I remembered his words. "He was enamored, Ashlan! He said someone told him he could, could get whatever he wanted and he came here and he's so STRONG ---."
"someone enamored him?" Ashlans brows furrowed. "Did he hurt you?"
his hands suddenly clasped my face tightly. "Kenali? The baby?"
"Fine," I whispered, staring into his eyes. "We're fine."
"Okay," his hands swept through my hair, and I could feel his entire body tense. "Okay. Was --- was Andy forcing himself on you? Is that what I walked in on?" he abruptly demanded, and his eyes suddenly flared a brighter color. " What the FUCK ---?"
"Ashlan, NO!" I flung my arms around his neck tightly, refusing to let him leave me. "He was enamored! Haven't you been listening to me?"
His hands hovered a moment, then rested lightly on my back with a sigh. "I heard you, love. I heard you. Did he say who?"
"N-no."
"Then let's find out," he huffed, rising to his feet. I rose with him, my arms still locked around his neck.
"Kenali, you gotta let go."
"No!" I tightened my hold.
"I'm just gonna ask him what happened, Kenali. I'm not gonna hurt him," he sighed, and my grip loosened slightly.
"Promise?"
"Yeah."
I hesitated, then let go of him, his hands closing over my hips.
"Just stay here while I figure out this mess," he muttered, making me sit down on the edge of the bed.
I hovered, watching as he stepped over to where Andy laid face down, and his hand closed over the back of Andys vest, lifting him off the ground. Ashlan frowned, lifting Andy up easily, so high his booted feet dangled.
Ashlan gave a pained sigh, kicking his couch lightly, hooking his foot beneath it and forcing it back into its former position.
I winced as it thunked.
Andy toppled down onto it's messed cushions, a little harder then necessary.
"Ashlan!"
"Oh, he's fine," he rolled his eyes as he stepped around, squatting down in front of Andy. Ashlan scowled before touching his finger to Andys forehead.
"Alright, asshat, wake up. Who told you you could have whatever you wanted?"
"Mhmph," I saw Andy roll slightly, squirming around, and Ashlans hand closed tightly over his shoulder.
"Andy. Who the fuck told you you could have whatever you wanted?"
"What --- Cronus." Andy sounded confused. "What am I doing here? Ashley?"
"Er, you, uh, got wasted, passed out here," Ashlandil said quickly as Andy sat up, clutching his head like it hurt him. "Called me from the bar --- where did you see Cronus, anyway?"
"Uh, ran into him at the coffee shoppe --- when was I at a bar?"
"When are you NOT at a bar, man? How you feeling?"
"My head aches," Andy mumbled, cringing. "And I feel like I hit something. Did you punch me?"
"You made a move on Kenna, I had too," Ash shrugged as he stood, and I glared at him.
That wasn't necessary.
"I did?" Andy sounded horrified. "Is she --- did I ---?"
"Nah, she's fine, don't worry." Ashlandil shrugged, eyes flicking in my direction. "Just upset her is all."
"Dude, I am so sorry, " he sounded so... Regretful. "Fuck, what did I say to her?"
"I dunno, I wasn't here. You'd have to ask her. But you'd probably better go now, she didn't want to see you when she woke up."
Ass!
"Er, right," he stood quickly, kind of staggering. If he would look back, he would see me sitting on the bed, looking at him, but he never looked back, just let Ashlandil usher him out the door.
I let my face drop into my hands.
This was terrible.
Why would Cronus do that to me? He knew what Andy would do, especially under such powerful compulsion like that --- he knew exactly what would happen.
He did it on purpose, didn't he?
I never had told Ashlan that Cronus had murdered Geneva, and I'd never asked him, either.
Maybe I should have.
But....
How could he?
I thought we were friends ---.
"Kenali?"
I felt the bed shift beside me, and then Ashlandils arm was sweeping around my shoulder, pulling me to him. I sighed, letting my head rest against his shoulder.
"You okay, love?"
"He knows, Ashlan," I whispered after a moment, letting my hands drop. "That it's his."
Ashlan stiffened slightly. "Did he say that?"
"Yes. He knows. And he, he wanted ---."
"I don't care what he wanted," Ashlan grunted, running his fingers through my hair. "It doesn't matter. You don't need him, fuck him!" he sounded aggravated. "We'll have our fucking baby and raise it and he can go screw himself!"
"Our baby?" my eyes rose to his face immediately. "What?"
"Well, you said it was mine, right? So it is. My baby, my woman. We're not perfect, I get that, but we can make this work, right?" he sighed. "We just gotta give it a chance."
I stared at him, then nodded, feeling myself relax.
"Yes, we... We do."
He sent me a tired smile. "That's my girl."
I forced a smile in return.
"Ashlan?"
"Hmm?"
"Sleep here with me," I looked down, picking at the soft sheet. "Please?"
"If that's what you want."
"It is."
"Then I will," I felt his fingers brush under my chin, lifting it slightly so his gaze could meet mine. "Whatever you want, Kenali, I will give you if I can."
"I know," I whispered, my hand traveling to my stomach.
He smiled slightly again, and then leaned forward, ever so slightly brushing his lips across mine.
This can work, right?
I believed it could.
"Wh - where are you going?" I blinked as he abruptly stood, starting back for the living area.
"To.put up the groceries, of course. I bought all those damned strawberries, can't let them go to waste, can I?"
"I suppose not."

Notes

Cronus is not a bro, I repeat --- not a bro!
I knew he was suspicious.
Dickhead.

Oh, anyway, so I've been kind of out of the loop on the fics here for what feels like, well, forever, so comment me some of your favorites so I can start reading up on them in my spare time! Or yours, so I can catch up there, too.
I hate being out of the loop.

And thanks for reading, sticking around so long with this story! I almost feel like it's never ending because I keep getting new ideas for it, but if it ever becomes too ongoing, let me know, okay? Because all good things must come to an end eventually, even though I still have a lot of ideas flowing right now, lol.
:)

~Kellyrages