Ashlandil

"I'm so glad to be home!" CC burst, practically running into the L.A. airport. "I've never missed this place so much before!"
I rolled my eyes, holding tightly to Kenalis hand as we walked past him to where the others were gathered. It was heavily crowded today, too many people getting on flights and going Ther own way. I could see some of the younger ones looking towards us, no doubt recognizing the band.
We were famous after all.
And standing around in this airport was going to get us mobbed.
Plus I really wanted to get Kenali back to my apartment before she changed her mind.
"I hope I never have to see any of you guys again," Jake chuckled as everyone gathered around. "Not for a couple more months, anyway."
"Same. I've had enough of tour for a long time!" Andy yawned, stretching his arms above his head.
"It's getting kind of crowded around here," I shifted uncomfortably. "I wanna get home."
"Yeah, see ya later, guys!" Jinxx waved as he abruptly took off, his phone rising to his ear.
"So, where you guys heading?" CC asked, gazing at the two of us.
"Back to the apartment I guess," I yawned, shifting the weight of all the bags hanging off my shoulders. "Get cranky here something to eat."
She glared at me. "I'm not cranky."
"Right." CC frowned at the two of us. "So, uh, you're... Getting back together then?"
We both looked at him.
And then at each other.
And then back at him.
"Um, I don't --- er, it's just what it is right now," I rubbed the back of my head askwardly. "We haven't talked about anything right now."
"Oh, right. Well, I guess I'd better get going. I'll see you guys in a couple weeks!"
"Yeah, I'm out too. Ellas waiting for me outside."
"I miss my cats," Andy suddenly sighed. "I better get back to them before they think I've abandoned them forever! So, see ya guys!"
And all of them abruptly left.
"That was... Awkward," Kenali said after a moment, her hand tight in mine.
"Yeah, it was," I sighed, and tugged on her hand. "Come on, let's go home."


"I've never missed my bed so much before in my life!" I groaned, letting all the bags fall to the ground by the foot as I flopped down happily. "I'm never leaving this thing again!"
"Not even for groceries?"
I hesitated, my face burrowed in my nicely scented sheets, my soft bed swallowing my tired body whole.
Did I not say I didn't want to leave it?
"Why do we need groceries?"
"I'm... I'm hungry," I heard Kenali sigh as she closed the fridge door. "Like my stomach is rumbling."
Baby cravings already?
Jesus.
I rolled over onto my back, stretching my arms out as I stared at my starred ceiling. "We can order out for something."
"Can we get the food with the rolled up thingies?" she asked, appearing in the doorway with a hopeful expression. "I like those "
"Chinese? Sure. And those are called egg rolls," I chuckled, patting the bed beside me. She hovered a moment before stepping toward me, carefully laying down on her back. I shifted onto my side, burying my face against her neck and curling my arm around her waist.
God I'd missed this.
I inhaled deeply, letting the heavenly smell of strawberries overwhelm me for a few seconds.
"Ashlan?" she sounded so nervous.
"I just wanna hold you for a few minutes," I whispered, snuggling closer. "You haven't let me on so long."
She hesitated, and then her cold fingers caressed my cheek.
"Because you scared me, Ashlandil."
I squeezed my eyes shut. "I never meant too, Kenali, I swear. I didn't mean to let the darkness take over me like that. I never should have hurt you that way," I whispered, curling my hands into fists. "I don't mean to be cruel to you, I just.... Want to keep you safe, protect you. And I don't know how to do it any other way."
She didn't say anything, but I enjoyed the feeling of her fingers in my hair, curling it around her index gently.
"I know," she said after a moment, sighing. "But are you sure this is what you want? I intend to raise this child, fully."
"I know that."
"Like, I'm not giving it up, not even when I give birth. I really want to raise it, like a normal child, like normal mortals."
I figured that.
"I'm aware of what you want, Kenali."
"But I know it's not what you want," she mumbled, sitting up quickly, forcing my arm off of her. "You want rid of it. You didn't want this."
"Of course I didn't. You think I want responsibility after millenias of doing whatever I want? No way. But," I sighed as I sat up. "It's what you want. And I want you. So you see my problem?"
"No." her brows furrowed as she looked over at me, hand slowly roving back to her stomach. "You've had me, Ashlandil. I have nothing to offer you now."
I winced.
She didn't have to say it like that.
"I don't want you just to feed off you," I grumbled, "You make me full for a while, but I liked being with you recreationally too. how many times do I have to tell you I love you before you realize I mean it?"
"When you start acting like you care about me and value me instead of treating me like, like some kind of prize or possession. You act like I'm more of an object then a being." she looked away from me, tensing. "That's all I've ever been, right?"
"No! I've never seen you like that," I stared at her. "I never meant to make you feel like that. I'm so sorry, Kenali."
She hesitated, then just shrugged it off, averting her gaze. "It doesn't matter anymore, I suppose."
I sighed.
We had a lot to work through.
I glanced over wryly as I heard her stomach rumble.
"How about I call in that Chinese, hmm?"
"Fine."
Great.
What had I said this time?


"I've been gone literally three hours, what's the issue?" I huffed, glancing at the clock. It was almost ten at night, I was trying to eat Chinese on my couch, and the asshats were already calling.
I think they just wanted to make sure me and Kenali were okay.
We were fine, so far. She was sitting beside me criss-cross, plastic container heaped with fried rice and sesame chicken, and she'd already stolen my egg roll and demolished it. And despite she couldn't figure out how to use the chopsticks without rice going all over my expensive rug below, at least there was forks.
"Welp, we wanted to make sure you got home okay," CC s bright voice answered. "Yknow, I always check on everyone. And you didn't check in, sooo ---."
Right, I'd forgotten about that.
"Well, I'm home, safe and sound," I muttered, slipping Kenali a napkin. "Nothing to worry about. No, Ken, use this, you know you'll just get rice everywhere, " I knocked the chopsticks out of her fingers quickly. "Use the fork."
"But I want to use the chopsticks!"
"Well use the fork, I'm not cleaning up rice!"
"But I WANT the ---."
My hand clamped over her mouth.
"I'll talk to you later, CC."
"Uh, alright, man. Call me if you need anything!"
"Yep."
I tossed my phone to the side.
"You get it everywhere, babe, you can't use them right."
She rolled her eyes at me, but dutifully took the fork instead.
I let myself relax into the couch, seeing her break her egg roll in half before taking a bite out of it.
And there it went.
I sighed, and absently reached over, brushing the mess from her shirt.
What was I going to do with her, my Kenali?
"I'm tired."
I glanced at her, seeing her stretch her arms up above her head, her shirt rising several inches about her beatifully flat stomach.
"You go on to bed then, I'll clean up this mess," I yawned, feeling the jet lag starting to get to me; I hadn't had a chance to relax since we'd gotten off that plane.
She bobbed her head as she stood, and then hesitated, her eyes flicking towards the bedroom and then to me.
"What?"
"Um, nothing, it's just ---."
My gut tightened painfully.
She didn't want me sleeping in the same bed as her.
I don't know why I hadn't thought about that.
She could barely be in the same room with me, how could I think she would want to sleep in the same bed?
"I'll sleep on the couch," I muttered, slowly rising to my feet, looking at everything but her. "Don't worry about it."
Was she afraid I'd hurt the baby? I would never do anything like that --- not right now, anyway. Not when I'd just gotten her to let me touch her and not cringe.
"Ashlandil ---."
"No, it's fine. This couch is expensive so it should be fucking comfortable at least."
She winced.
"O-okay. Goodnight, Ashlan."
"Night."

Notes

Update: head cold has drastically improved and man voice is gone, yay!
Also update: birthday weekend for my mom went super well --- went to red lobster to celebrate and got served by a hot waiter, who then got his equally attractive fellow waiters to serenade my mother a happy birthday
I think she's already plotting revenue D:

Lol anyway, thanks for reading! So apparently Kenali isn't comfortable with ash enough to sleep in the same bed as him, bummer.
And now she's also feeding for two, sooo she's gonna have to feed on somebody soon!
What do you think she's gonna do?