All I Can See Are These Flames Around Me

With my jaw clenched I attempted to not scream as yet another contraction passed. Fifteen minutes ago when my midwife came in to check on me, I was three centimeters dilated. Which isn't a whole lot, when you consider that I fucking went into labor six and a half hours ago. At this point I had hoped I would at least be six or seven centimeters dilated. But no, I had been wrong.

Two weeks ago when I had been asked if I wanted a drug free birth, I happily said yes. Some of the side effects that the painkillers had freaked me out, and I didn't want them going in my body while I still had my child inside me. Who knows what long term effects the meds could have on poor little Caleb.

But let me tell you what a fucking fool I was for having chosen the no drug route. I am in an unbelievable amount of pain. Had I known it was going to hurt this much I would have requested every drug I could possibly been given. I seriously hate myself for not wanting the painkillers. My midwife offered to get me the epidural when I was a bit further along. I almost kissed her I was so happy.

“I am going to fucking kill Ashley, the next time I see him!" I groaned running a hand through my sweaty hair. For the moment the contractions had gone away.

At the end of my bed, Brittany laughed. “Hun, feel free to kill him but just remember that he is the father of your child.”

I don't give two fucks who he is, he got me into this situation so he's who I'm blaming for the amount of pain that I'm in.

“At the moment I don’t give a fuck. Did anyone call Andy?” Diverting the conversation I glanced over at Kate.

“Brit called him. He’s going to try and get here as soon as he possibly can. They were a two day drive away, so it could be a little while.” Of course. The one person I want with me is two days away. Fucking awesome.

“But he is, coming right?” Kate and Brit laughed at me.

“Yes, he’s going to try to be here. Don’t worry Andy is always good at keeping his promises.”

“I know.” Getting up from her seat next to my bed, Kate kissed my forehead.

“Don’t worry Nikki, he’s going to be here. Just wait.” Dear god, I hope they're right.

***

Cursing under my breath I looked over at Kate and Brit, eight centimeters dilated and Andy isn’t here yet. I'm starting to fucking worry.

Where the fuck is he?!

“Sweetheart, do you want me to get anything?” Brit rubbed my shoulders as my contraction subsided.

“Get me Andrew.” I sighed. As much as I want Caleb out of me so the pain will stop, I don't want him out of me yet, because Andy isn't here yet.

“I’ll give him another call and see where he is.” Brit left the room leaving Kate and I alone.

“So, when do you think Caleb will be here?” I know for a fact that Kate, Britt, Jinxx, Jake, and C all have bets on what time Caleb will be delivered. She's hoping for him to come in the next hour, or she'll lose the pool.

“Well, my midwife said any time tonight.” Nodding, Kate came to sit beside me. She ran her fingers through my hair.

Smiling a little I leaned against her. Kate is such a mom, not that I'm complaining. She's taken really good care of me the last few months.

“Just think, soon you’ll have that baby boy in your arms.”

“I know, I just can’t wait to see him. I know he’s going to be beautiful.”

As I was opening my mouth to talk with Kate for the millionth time about how beautiful my baby boy would be, Britt burst into the room with a huge grin on her face. Raising an eyebrow I laughed at her dramatic entrance. What the hell has she been up to?

“NIKKI!” Britt nearly screamed at me.

“Yes, Brittany?” Tucking my bangs behind my ear I continued to chuckle at my best friend.

“You won’t guess who I found?" She cried in a singsong voice. “I found Andy!” As she spoke an extremely tired looking Andy entered my hospital room.

“Andrew!” If I could have, I would have jumped out of this bed and run straight into his arms. But seeing as I'm hooked up to a saline drip, doing all that probably isn't the smartest thing to do.

“Hey, baby.” Coming to the edge of my bed, Andy wrapped his arms around me. And for the first time in months, I felt safe again.

“I’ve missed you.” My eyes watered as I buried my face in his chest.

“I missed you too Nikki.” Andy kissed the top of my head.

I swear I heard him sniffle, but I couldn't be sure. I might have just been hearing things.

“I’m so glad that you made it.” For the first time in months, Andy brought his lips to mine. God they felt so good. I've missed his touch, his kisses, his everything honestly.

“Like I would miss the birth of our baby boy. Oh... And someone else didn't want to miss this either..." I eyed Andrew suspiciously. Who is he even talking about? CC? Jake?

"Who?"

“Ashley.” Why the fuck is he here!?

As if on cue, the fucking manwhore silently walked into the room. He had his head hung down low, and his hands stuffed in the pockets of his pants. Although, for a split second, our eyes met. And with that moment before he went to sit in the corner of the room, I saw how scared and sorry he was. And that hit home hard.

“He wanted to come. There was no stopping him.” my eyes were still on Ashley as Andy brought his lips down on mine. I tried to look away, but the sight of him sitting in that hospital chair with such a broken expression was like a car accident you can't look away from.The hurt that filled Ashley’s eyes grew when Andy kissed me only made my stomach twist in guilt.

Why am I even feeling like this? He raped me. I should feel sympathy towards him.

Notes

The end is inching closer and closer you guys!
Can you feel it?

Let me know what you guys are thinking?
Do you want me to post the sequel on here when I'm done?
Or are you guys not feeling it?