My Reality

I return to the English classroom and take my notebook out. I begin sketching a girl, but then my heart takes control. I draw the fear in her eyes as she witnesses the darkness following her to the highest branch in the old, yet strong oak tree. The girl begins to look like me the more I stare down at my paper. I draw a hand reaching out from the darkness to pull her by the leg. I stop and look at the page. I don't want this, I don't want to live like this. I rip the page out of my notebook and walk to the front of the room to throw it out.

"Miss Kanes." Andy says.

"It's Miss Osbourne now." I tell him.

"May I speak with you out in the hall?" He asks and I nod. We both walk down the hall and he stops. "Scar, please tell me what happened. I can't take it anymore, I need to know."

"What if you don't love me after I tell you? What if you think of me as a dirty whore?" I ask starting to breakdown.

"Scar when I say I love you to the end of the world and back, I mean it. And I would never think of you as a dirty whore. You are a beauty that can't simply be expressed by words, but can only be fully understood through the glimmer in your eyes."

"He uh handcuffed me to a pipe and whipped me repeatedly and brought my dad in. Not Blake, I mean the other one. He beat me and Sam started to get mad." I take a deep breath, "Sam killed him and said it was my wedding gift and that I had to give him his wedding gift."

"He um he raped you?" I keep my head down.

"Can I go back to class now?"

"Do you want to?"

"No, I don't even want to be in this building. I want to be far away from everything, in my own little world where nothing happened to me. But I know I don't have a choice."

"What can I do? I really want to help."

"You see this is why I didn't want to tell you, I don't want your pity, I just want out."

"Out of what?"

"Out of this life, I want a new life where I don't feel like everyone is out to get me."

"I'm not out to get you, I love you." I look up into his eyes. How does he tell when people are lying, I want to posses that power. There's no shaking in his form, he seems like he's telling the truth, but how am I supposed to know for sure?

"Answer me this; why are you with me? And I don't want those fruity little answers, I want the cold hard truth. Why me?"

"I don't know, why is anyone with anyone? It's just that when I'm with you, I feel great like I can fly. And I want to fly." I don't think he's lying, it doesn't look like it. I hug him and quickly release.

"I'm going to the music room." I tell him.

"I didn't excuse you from class." He says.

"But you were going to." I walk off to the music room and don't see Jake. I sit down and work on lost it all. This seems like I really good song for me right now.


"I ruled the world.
With these hands I shook the heavens to the ground.
I laid the gods to rest.
I held the key to the kingdom.
Lions guarding castle walls.
Hail the king of death.

Then I lost it all
Dead and broken.
My back's against the wall.
Cut me open.
I'm just trying to breathe,
Just trying to figure it out
Because I built these walls to watch them crumbling down.
I said, "Then I lost it all."
And who can save me now?

I stood above
Another war,
Another jewel upon the crown.
I was the fear of men.
But I was blind.
I couldn't see the world there right in front of me.
But now I can...

'Cause I lost it all
Dead and broken.
My back's against the wall.
Cut me open.
I'm just trying to breathe,
Just trying to figure it out
Because I built these walls to watch them crumbling down.
I said, "Then I lost it all."
Who can save me now?

I believe that we all fall down sometimes
Can't you see that we all fall down sometimes?
I believe that we all fall down sometimes
Can't you see that we all fall down sometimes?

Yeah

I believe that we all fall down sometimes
Yeah" I sing.


James walks into the room. "I thought I heard you singing." He say sitting in front of me.

"Yeah, you know me and music." I say.

"We should go out for dinner tonight, how about pizza and a movie?" He asks.

"I'm sorry but I can't."

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing, I just can't go to dinner."

"Is your mom not letting you?"

"You don't get it, I just can't go okay?"

"What's going on with you?" I put the guitar down and walk out of the room. "Scarlet!" He yells and I keep walking.
I walk into the chemistry room, no ones here. I look through drawers in the lab, maybe there's something sharp.

"Scarlet, what are you doing in here?" I turn around to see Ashley.

"Nothing I was just looking for a pen." I say.

"Okay... Well if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here."

"Okay well I'm going to go look for Alexis."

"Alexis?" He asks, best to put attention onto her.

"Yeah." I say.

I walk out of the room and to my locker. I take out a sticky note and a pen. I write a little note excusing her from class and forge the principal's signature. I walk the halls to find which room she is in and knock on the door of a biology classroom. I open the door and give the note to the teacher. She stares at it for a sec before sending me off with Alexis.

"So you said you wanted to hangout?" I ask.

"Yeah but first I have to go to the office." She says and I smirk.

"No you don't, I forged the note to get you out of class." I say and she stops and turns to me.

"Good girl gone bad, I like it. Okay let's just stop off at my locker and we'll go." We walk to her locker. She forces all of her binders inside and grabs her leather jacket.

"So where are we going?" I ask.

"The mall, I want to go by Hot Topic and see this guy who really likes me." She says.

"Aren't you and Ashley a thing?"

"Well he still hasn't taking me on a proper date, so until he does I'm still single." She shuts her locker. "Alright, let's go." We walk out of the building and begin walking downtown. "So how are you and your guy going?"

"He says he loves me, but I don't know. How can I tell if what he's saying is the truth? I mean we do have an age gap, not as much as you and Ashley, but mine's still six years older than me."

"Well at least he's not old enough to be your uncle. And you can never tell if a man is telling the truth, but life's all about taking risks."

"Do you wanna know who he is?" I ask and she turns to me with the biggest grin.

"Yes, I've been dying to know!"

"It's Mr Biersack."

"No way!"

"Yes way."

"No way!"

"Gerard Way."

"Prove it." I take out my phone and dial his number, he picks up on the last ring. I put it on speaker phone.

"Scar are you okay?" He asks.

"Yeah I'm fine, I'm just calling because I forgot to tell you something." I say.

"Can it wait? I'm kinda in the middle of class." He asks.

"I just forgot to say... I love you."

"I love you too babe. I gotta go."

"Okay bye." I hang up and Alexis squeals.

"Holy shit you really are dating him!" She says.

"Hey he made the first move." I defend.

"Well you're going to make the next, come on." She says dragging me into a bridal boutique.

Notes

Q: What does Alexis have in mind?

Shout outs:

ChanceBVB
eclaire


love ya<3