Leaving Hope To Bleed *May Be Triggering to Some*

I slowly stand up and gather my stuff. I can't get Andy's words out of my head.
"I know how you feel, and I'm sorry...." What did he mean? How could he possibly know how I feel, he has no idea. He's probably laughing about it with the others. I sigh in frustration, I can't believe he read my journal. Tears well up in my eyes as I shove my stuff back in my bag. I shake my head and start walking back to my house. I hate Ashley, I hate Andy, I hate all of them. I hate this school, I hate Kassidy, I hate life. I blink away my tears as I come up on my porch. I open the door and walk in. I wonder if my dad is going to be mad at me, I've never gotten suspended before.
"Dad?" I call out closing the door behind me. I go in the living room, he's not in here.
"Dad?" I call out walking to the kitchen. No dad, but there is a note on the counter with some money on it. I pick the note up and I read it.

Summer,
I'm going on a business trip and I won't be back till Monday. I left you some money so you can get food and other stuff you might need. Be good, Love you.
~Dad

Great, I'm all alone. I sigh and put the note down. I scoop up the money and count it. Wow, he left me 85 dollars. I shove the money in my pocket, sigh again and I drag myself upstairs. When I get to my room, I throw my bag on the ground and I fall down on the bed. I look up at the white ceiling for minutes, not moving. I sigh and grab my journal and pen from my bag. I sit down at my desk and I open to the next clean page, and I write.

Dear Journal,
Sorry I haven't been writing in you for the last few days. Andy and his friends beat me in the bathroom, and I had to go to the hospital. But today, I got into a fight with Kassidy. I was so nervous, that was my first fight ever, but at the same time, it felt good. After the fight, CC pulled me away. He said what they did to me was wrong, but if he thought it was wrong, he would not have let them do that to me. He said I was smiling when I was hitting Kassidy, and I was, it felt good to finally do that to her after so long. But at the same time, that is wrong to feel that way. CC said that even if she had deserved it, it doesn't give me the right to hurt her. And what he said is right, I turned to violence because I felt threatened, and that is not how it should go.
I'm turning into a monster and it's all Andy's fault.
Speaking of Andy, after school, he read my journal. But he lied to the guys about what he read. He said it was just normal freak stuff and he also said I have a crush on CC. Why would he do that? And before he left he said that he knows how I feel, and he is sorry. Since when does Andy Biersack say sorry? Especially to me. And how does he know how I feel? He knows nothing about the pain I feel, he knows nothing...

A tear slips out of my eye. I hate this, I hate it.I jump up, the chair falls to the ground. I throw myself on to my bad and put my face in a pillow. I scream as loud as I can and tears flood my eyes. Andy is going to drive me insane, I can't take this anymore. I sit up and pull my nightstand drawer open. I dig through the many papers, and when I get to the bottom, I find the long thin shiny blade. I smile and grab it, I shut the drawer and pull up my sleeves. Should I do this? I've been clean for four weeks. I debate with myself for a second but then without thinking, I put the blade to my arm and I make a cut. The crimson colored blood leaks out of the tiny slit in my arm. I drag the blade down my arm again, after about 5 cuts the stinging pain starts to go away so I cut deeper each time to ensure the pain stays. After 15 cuts on both of my arms, they go completely numb. I look down at my arms, the have smeared blood all over them. I go to the bathroom and I run my arms under cold water. After that I change into a pair of basket ball shorts and a thin black, V-neck tee shirt. I crawl into bed and under the covers. Why does life have to be so cruel? I close my eyes and fall asleep.

I wake up to a loud crashing sound, it sounds like glass breaking. I hear the front door slam open downstairs. I gasp and fall out of bed. I quickly scramble to my feet and run into my closet, closing it quietly. I hear muffled voices and footsteps, I can hear them coming towards my room. I whimper as my door flies open and slams against the wall. I hold my breath as I hear multiple footsteps in my room. Why does this have to happen to me? The footsteps stop and the closet door is thrown open. I gasp, there are three men with white masks on, they all have guns. I crumple into the corner, trying to get away. The first on is tall, and he has a few tattoos on his arms. I've seen those before, but I don't know where. The guy grabs my arm and drags me out of the closet.

"Please stop!" I scream, jerking away but the grip on my arm only tightens. I'm pushed on the ground and forced on my back. The tall one that pulled me out of the closet puts his foot on my chest, making it hard for me to breathe. I gasp for air and he presses harder. He laughs and points the gun at my face.
"Guess who." He says, reaching for his mask. I know that voice, it's Andy...
The guy pulls the mask off to reveal Andy. He has an evil smirk.
"I told you were going to get it, what did you think I meant?" He asks, and a few tears fall from my eyes.
"Please Andy, don't do this, please!" I plead and he just smiles.
"Too Late." He whispers and pulls the trigger...

I wake up in my bed screaming. I'm sweating and its really hot. As soon as I realize it was a dream I cry into my hands. I pull my knees up to my chest and lay down into a little ball, I cry for hours until I have no more tears. I finally get so exhausted from crying that I fall into a dreamless sleep. I wake up with a big headache, light is streaming through the window, I groan and roll over, the clock says it's 8:40. I get out of bed and make my way to the bathroom, I take two pain pills and I go downstairs. I open the fridge and grab a pudding, I grab a spoon and I sit down at the table. After I take two spoon fulls of the pudding the door bell rings. That's weird, no one ever comes here. I go to the door and open it. There is a little girl in a girl scouts uniform. She has a bright smile on her face.
"Shouldn't you be in school Missy?" I ask sweetly. She giggles, and it sounds so sweet.
"No. I'm a girl scout. Would you like to buy some cookies?" She has a little red wagon filled with boxes of girl scout cookies.
"Hurry up!" I hear a voice call. I look up to see Andy, our eyes meet and my jaw drops.
"Shut up!" The little girl says to Andy, but he doesn't take his eyes off me.
"Don't worry, he's just my brother." She says crinkling up her nose. Andy has a sister? I never knew. Andy walks up beside the little girl and smiles at me. "Umm...I'll be right back with the money.." I say turning and running upstairs.

Oh My God, Andy knows where I live. Great just great. I grab the money from my pants pocket and grab a twenty. I run downstairs and they are standing in the living room.
"Oh..." I say reaching the bottom of the steps.
"Sorry." The girl says, "He's very rude..." She says.
"She doesn't mind..." Andy says looking at me. I ignore him and give the little girl the money.
"I'll take two please." I say handing the girl the money. Andy jerks the money out of my hand. The little girl smacks his leg.
"Meanie..." She mumbles grabbing two boxes of cookies. She hands them to me.
"Thank you...." I look at her shirt searching for a name tag.
"Candice." She says holding her hand out. Wow, this girl has some manners.
"Thank you Candice, my names Summer." She smiles brightly.
"That's a beautiful name......What happened to your face?" She asks and Andy tenses slightly.

Andy's POV:

"That's a beautiful name, what happened to your face?" Candace asks Summer. Summer glances at me quickly and then back to Candace. She smiles slightly.
"I got into a car wreck the other day." She says.
"Come on." I say to Candice. Lets go.
"Thanks for buying the cookies." Candace sings as she leaves out the door. I stop in the doorway and turn around. She's looking at me with fear in her eyes.
"Can you please leave." She says pointing out the door.
I smirk at her and shake my head. "You haven't told anyone have you?" I ask leaning against the door frame. She shakes her head, and I nod. I knew she wouldn't
"Please leave." She says again. I sigh.
"Andy Hurry up!" Candace yells from the driveway.

Summer's POV:

"Andy Hurry up!" Candace yells and Andy sighs.
"Leave!" I almost shout. I want him gone and out of my house, I want him out of my life. He smirks at me.
"See you soon, princess." He says leaving. See you soon, what does that mean? I quickly shut the door behind him and lock it. I but my back against the door and slide down it.
What if he breaks into my house and kills me? It'd be just like the dream....

Notes

I didn't really like this chapter, but here y'all go.
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