Escaping Grace

Andys POV


Why was I such a fucktard?
I couldn't believe I had been such an asshole to Leah. I had never imagined her own mother would have been the one to give her such awful scars; I don't know how she had survived something like that. How she had kept going. And she had never breathed a word of it to anyone. No wonder she hadn't wanted to get close to me.
Her last boyfriend had literally watched as she was abused and not done a damn thing. He hadn't tried to save her or help her --- nothing. She had been all alone, and she'd kept all that pain bottled up inside.
No wonder she needed medication.
Fuck, I think I needed medication.
I glanced down.
We had been watching TV, until she had fallen sleep, her head in my lap and the rest of her tiny self sprawled out across the sofa. Luckily she had left some of her clothes over so she had some to sleep in that fit.
I let my fingers lightly tangle in her soft blonde hair.
My Leah. She might not have told me she loved me, but she'd trusted me --- even if I had had to leave her to get her too.
I sighed, and stroked her hair softly. This was really becoming a habit for me.
I glanced up as something loud happened on TV, and Leah stirred. She stretched, and opened her eyes sleepily. Her makeup was still smeared around her eyes where she had half-heartedly tried to clean it off when we'd got back.
Id called CC, who hopefully had told Vale. I swear I think I was going to have to get Leah to start wearing her keys around her neck so she wouldn't lose them.
She would still lose them, I decided as she rose up, rubbing her face.
"I didn't mean to fall asleep. How long was I out?"
"About an hour. You didn't miss anything," I said, ruffling her hair the way i knew annoyed her. She sent me an Aggravated look, grumbling as she attempted to fix the tangled mess. She gave up after a minute, and stretched again, her shirt coming up enough in the back to show a white, thin scar.
I looked away, feeling guilty. I never should have pushed her, I shouldve left it alone. But I had seriously thought she'd wanted to break up with me --- I'd showed her the texts. By the look on her face she really hadn't know about them.
Which makes me wonder; who the fuck was texting me and how'd they get her phone? As attached to it as she was, it was rare she ever left it alone.
And I know Vale wouldn't have; that girl spewed out whatever she felt and/or was thinking without ever sparing anyone's feelings.
She was such a bitch. Ashley had been the one to make that comment to CC once early on, and I thought CC was going to run him over with his car.
Fuck me, why did I always fuck up everything?
"I'm gonna take a shower," Leah said, and I turned to look at her.
"Don't get it too hot."
She rolled her eyes. She clambered off the couch and into the bathroom, and a few minutes later I heard the water turn on. She always turned the water so hot I was surprised she didn't cook herself.
I ran a hand through my hair. I wanted to make it up to her, somehow. I felt like shit .
Fuck me, I thought again, and hefted myself to my feet. I tugged at the laces of my boots and kicked them off, and pulled my shirt off as I traveled to the bathroom. I slipped in quietly, the entire room completely steamed.
"I thought I said not so hot."
Leah jumped, and she tilted back where she could see through the crack between the door and the wall.
"Since when do I listen to you?"
My lips twitched. Never, actually.
I let my jeans fall and stepped into the shower behind her. She turned to face me, and I sighed. I took her wash cloth and rubbed her face.
"You're not going to get this off if you keep smearing it everywhere."
"It's waterproof, it won't come off," she muttered as she impatiently waited for me to hurry.
"There." I draped the washcloth over her shoulder. "Perfect."
She snorted, and tugged the cloth off her shoulder. She hadn't looked me in the eye since before she'd told me about her mom. It was like she was ashamed of it or something.
I reached over her shoulder and turned the hot water down.
"Hey! It'll be cold!" she turned, smacking my arm. "You take showers in the arctic."
"And you take them in hell. I don't see how you stand this," I turned it down again when she turned it up. She finally turned her back to me, claiming the hot water and turning it full blast.
I chuckled, and wrapped my arms around her before she could turn around. I pressed a kiss to her wet hair.
"You're not mad at me, are you?" I asked after a moment. "For being such an asshole?"
"Andy, you'll have to be more specific about which time."
Touché. I splayed out my fingers across her stomach, water streaming over my hand. "All of them."
She smiled reluctantly, and leaned back against me. "No, I'm not mad. I probably would have done the same."
That was a relief.
"Hey," I tightened my hold on her, "I love you."
She hesitated. I sighed, and pressed a kiss onto her shoulder. I figured she wouldn't say it back. But at least I knew ahe didn't want me to leave her.
I brushed her hair out of the way, my lips moving to the back of her neck, amd I felt her shiver. I traveled to her other shoulder, over one of her scars, and slowly down.
She stiffened slightly as she realized what I was doing.
"Andy," she started, her voice panicked.
"They're a part of you, Leah. And as many times as I've kissed you, I want to make sure it's all of you," I said huskily, and then made my way down her back, kissing every scar I found until I had covered every single one.
I straightened, and turned her around. Her face was red, and she was keeping her eyes from mine like she was ashamed.
"You're beautiful, Leah. I don't want you to think that you're not. And you shouldn't be ashamed of it, it wasn't your fault."
She bit her lip, and then glanced up at me after a second her bangs falling into her eyes.
After a moment, she sighed, and just leaned her head against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, my protective urge kicking in.
If I ever saw her ex again I would pummel him.

Notes

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