Escaping Grace

I glanced over at Andy, and he was looking kind of bored.
"So why did you come over today?" I asked after a moment. It wasn't out of the goodness of his heart.
"I told you, CC texted me ---."
"That's what you told me, but you've met me once. Technically. This just seems... Weird." I muttered.
Andy raised up, turning to look at me. He propped one arm on the back of the couch. "I can leave if you want me too."
"That's not what I meant," I started, and my phone suddenly went off. I scowled and reached for it, but Andy pushed it out of the way.
"No," he said, "let's talk."
"What is there to talk about?" I scowled, flailing out for my phone, but he held it behind him.
"You don't want to talk about us sleeping together?"
"No." I strained for my phone, seeing Vales name.
"Really?"
Exasperated, I looked at him. "It was a one time, very drunk thing, okay? I dont even remember half of it. So we can just let it go." I lurched, and my fingers brushed my phone before he dropped it, letting it bounce on the couch cushions.
I sighed.
"Can you just hand it to me please? It could be important."
"I doubt it." he took a handful of popcorn. I frowned, and sat the bowl in his lap. I leaned across him and grabbed my phone, quickly texting her back.
"You never know," I mumbled, and held my phone loosely in hand as I waited for her to answer.
"Sooo," I glanced at Andy, "there were no strings attached?" he said slowly.
"Yes, Andy," I sounded as annoyed as I felt. He grinned, and then suddenly grabbed me and pulled me into his lap, the popcorn bowl flying into the floor.
"What are you doing?" I burst, and he made me look at him.
"No strings, just fun. We're not dating or anything."
"What?" I sat there, looking stupid as I looked at him. "What are you talking about?"
"We can get to know each other and be friends," he said slowly, a gleam in those fiery blue eyes, "or... We could be friends with no strings attached badass sex that will definitely not complicate anything."
Oh. I blushed.
I couldn't do that.
I wasn't that kind of person.
"I, I couldn't do that," I stammered, and struggled to my feet. "I'm not that kind of person. I dont even do one night stands!"
"Oh really?"
I frowned at him. "I'm not a booty call, Andy. You can't just come over because you want to fuck and then skip out. It doesnt work like that."
"Isn't that basically what you did to me?" he snapped, standing abruptly. "You come over, we hang out, YOU kiss me, we fuck and then you leave. How am I supposed to know you're actually all 'prim and proper' when it suits you!"
"When it suits me?" I blinked. "Are you serious?"
"I'm damned serious." he was scowling at me. Was he seriously pissed because I didn't want to sleep with him whenever the notion hit?
"Dude, I was drunk! Trust me it's not something I usually do or even planned on."
"Could have fooled me," he snorted, and my face flushed.
"And what does THAT mean?"
He raised a cocky brow at me. "You certainly seemed to know your way around me. Whose to say that wasn't your plan all along?"
I felt the heat rise up my neck and into my face. "Yes, that was my plan. I'll just meet Andrew Biersack and get him alone amd somehow get a car to drive by and splash me! Then he'll take me back to his place ao I can sleep with him!" my voice was scathing.
"How am I supposed to know that's not how you do it?"
"how I do it?"
He did not just insinuate --- oh he did. "What the fuck is your problem? I'm not a fucking groupie. I don't crawl out of bed thinking of how I can sleep with you. I'm not some whore. Amd you know what?" my voice was rising steadily, and I leaned down, grabbing the empty popcorn bowl. "Get the fuck out of my apartment."
He rolled his eyes and stepped around the couch. "Fine, I'll get out. But I'm taking the offer with me," he grabbed the door to pull it open.
I flung the bowl as hard as I could, and if he hadn't stepped back to open the door, it would have nailed him.
"What the fuck?" he demanded, turning. The popcorn bowl ended up in the hallway, and I heard it fall down the stairs.
"How dare you say I'm a whore," I could feel the pressure behind my eyes.
"I never said that."
"You might as well have!" I grabbed a pillow off the couch and hurled it at him. He batted it out of the way.
He had no idea how I felt about sleeping with him, the ... The shame I felt. I knew I shouldn't, and I would never admit it to anyone, but I'd been taught all my life about how I couldn't end up "tainted" or "soiled." how wrong it was to do anything out of marriage. I had to be ready for the perfect man to sweep me off my feet and do everything to keep him happy.
I knew now it wasn't like that, but its hard to break away from something that had been ingrained in your DNA since birth.
Furiously I grabbed a bottle off the coffee table and flung it.
Andy dodged easily, but he was beyond pissed. He opened his mouth to yell at me, and got halfway through his sentence - something to do with me being a tease --- before the next thing I threw narrowly missed him and shattered as it hit the brick wall in the hallway.
"Get out!" I literally shrieked at him.
"Leah!?"
We both turned to look at the door. Vale was standing at the top of the stairs, holding the popcorn bowl, CC and Clarke behind her. I stared at them, trying to control my breathing. I glanced at the clock. Vale had only been gone two hours, and it was only eleven. She should still be out partying the night away. And what was Clarke doing with them?
"Andy," CC took a step forward, looking alarmed.
Andy glared at me and then took off, brushing past CC as he disappeared downstairs. CC hastily whispered something to Vale, kissed her cheek, and then left.
I sighed. I
knelt down and started gathering all the spilled popcorn and twizzlers off the carpet. "
Leah?" Vale and Clarke knelt around me. "What was he doing here?"
"Nothing," I muttered, grabbing the popcorn bowl. I pushed all the ruined popcorn into it, nabbing at leftover kernels. my eyes were burning, and I didn't want them to see me cry.
All I ever did was cry. Cry because I'm yelled at, cry because something didn't go my way, cry, cry, cry...
"That was definitely not nothing," Clarke said, and placed his hand under my chin. He gently made me look at him. "Leah, honey, what happened?" he asked softly.
Tears swam in my eyes. "Nothing," I choked out. "Nothing."
Clarke pulled me to him, and I burst into tears.
"Ross called, I think," Vale murmured, brushing at my hair. "She was yelling at him in Russian, that's the only reason I think it was him. I don't know how he keeps getting her number," she sounded worried.
"So what was Andy doing here then? From the looks of the hallway, she didn't want him here," Clarke muttered, and I tried to stop crying, but it was like a floodgate had opened.
"I'm not sure," Vale shook her head.
"Why are you guys here?" I sniveled, mopping at my eyes.
"Clarke was trying to call you, and when he couldn't get you he called me. It's not like you not to answer."
I didn't even know where my phone was. I sniffed, Clarke rocking me slightly. I swear, these two were more like parents then bandmates. It just made me love them more, though.
"Come on," Clarke stood and lifted me into his arms in one movement, "let's get you to bed, okay?"
He carried me to my room, and gently sat me on my bed.
"Here," he pulled open my nightstand and pulled out my pills. He handed me two and I took them gratefully. I'd been doing so good on not having to take them, too.
I laid down, and Clarke grabbed my blankets and pulled them over me. He sat on the edge of the bed, and brushed my hair out of my face. "You gonna be okay, Leah?" "
Yeah," I croaked, and cleared my throat.
He frowned, and glanced back out the door where Vale was cleaning. "What happened, L? Why was he here?"
I hesitated. Andys entire band literally already knew we'd slept together, and I'd rather my band hear it from me then from one of the others.
"Remember when we hung out with all of them and I got splashed by water and my phone died?" I swallowed.
"Yeah."
"Well," I sat up, not wanting to lie down and feel even more vulnerable, "I might have maybe, um, slept with Andy."
The last three words I literally had to force from my mouth.
"Oh." Clarke stared at me. "OH. What!? Why would you ---."
"It was against my better judgement, okay?" I burst before he could say anymore. "And it will definitely not happen again."
"Is that why he was here?" he demanded, and I sighed. "No, it wasn't. We were just hanging out," I wiped at my face again, my eyes feeling raw and puffy. My pills were kicking in quick this time; I already felt calm.
I pressed my lips together.
"Then why did you want him out so bad?"
"I just wanted him to leave," I muttered, clenching my hands. I didn't need Clarke or Vale hating him completely when we still had to open for three of their shows. I didn't want to jeopardize this for us because I didn't keep my legs closed.
I grimaced. "I'm just gonna sleep for a while now, okay?"
"Sure," Clarke quickly hopped off my bed. "Me and Vale will be outside of you need us."
"Thanks," I watched him walk out and close the door firmly behind him, and I let my breath go. I
rolled over, pulling the covers over my head.
I just wanted to sleep and forget this day ever happened.

Notes