Bullied

I closed the door behind of me.
~At home.. wonderful to not fear anything anymore~

"Hello Andy" I heard my mom's voice coming out of the kitchen "How was school today?"
"Better" I answered - and it was no lie. The day before was worse in my opinion.
"Oh, that's great" she had a big, lucky smile on her face "would you please help me a little? Your dad will be home soon and if you don't help me he'll have to wait for dinner... and you know how your father can be when he's hungry"
"Of course" I laughed softly and placed my bag on the floor of the hallway "wait a minute - I'm going to message Jenny first"

My mom always understood the way I felt in front of my bestie. She knew that it wasn't love but our friendship was as strong as metal.
So I pulled out my cellphone and started writing:
"Hey dear, how are you doing? I hope your day was as good as mine :)"
I wasn't going to tell her about this bullying thing until she'd feel better.


"Are you going to tell me about yesterday? You were so... isolated" my mother asked me.
My breath shortly stopped. I hated lying. It was like jumping off a cliff to me.
"I just thought they's accept me faster ... it just seems like they need some more time" I tried to act as normal as possible.
But the nervousness made me tremble and then - cut - the knife accidently touched my skin a little too hard. Some blood was on my finger. Nothing worse.
"Ouch" I cursed a little.
"What's wrong?" my mom saw at me "Oh wait, let me help you"
"You don't need to it's just a small cut"
But my mother already disappeared to get the medicine box.

To be honest - it burned like hell.
Why were I too stupid to slice onions? I mean - why?
Then my mom returned and quickly took my hand to put a plaster on the cut.
It reminded me of the moment I helped Felix today.. Now I excactly knew the way he felt.
I felt some tears starting to build up in my eyes.
"..Is something wrong dear?" my mother asked me as she was about to close the medicine boy again.
"No... it's just... the onions"
"I can do this alone. You already suffered enough. Go do your homework or something" she smiled at me.
"Thank you mom..." I put a weak smile on my face which disappeared again pretty fast.

I went up the creacking stairs, got into my room and quickly closed the door behind of me.
"It's alright.. it's alright" I told myself but then the tears started to roll down my face and didn't want to stop anymore.

What was wrong with me? Why was I that weak?
The reason why I were crying is - well - Felix.

I mean my little cut burned like fire... even after this.
What were his arms feeling like? How was he able to do something awful like that to his own body? He was afraid of so many things - why not of physical pain?
Just how?
My "injury" wasn't even comparable to his. His were deeper and bigger in general - and a little infected.
I wonder how he was even able to wear long sleeves. Even that soft material had to hurt on his skin.
And when my mom took my hand to put the plaster on my finger it somehow made me feel weak. Like I wasn't able to do that on my own.
Idiotic me. I made Felix feel the same way. And I was way too cold-hearted.
Yes - he lied to me - but who didn't? Who would show me cuts without any request?
I put way too much pressure on him. He shouldn't have showed me so much about him that fast.
I'm such an idiot.

I heard the sound of my phone - Jenny answered.
At least I had her and I didn't disappoint her.

Notes

OMF I'M SO SORRY
I knew I wanted to update faster again but actually my internet was down .-.
So NOW I'm gonna update faster x) (I hope so)
btw thanks for over 1000 views

c ya next chapter