My Life

I've been up all night thinking of the best way to say to Alex that I want a divorce, but I can't. He's supported me and the kids for fourteen years, whereas Andy chose his career over me. There's no good way to say it, but it must be done. It's almost time for the kids to be released from school. Amy and Johnnie packed their bags last night, which should be good till we find a bigger apartment. I'm parked outside of the school just waiting for that bell to ring and it does. Within three minutes both the kids are in the car and we're heading back to the house.

"So what I need you guys to do is to take your bags and move them over to Uncle Ricky and Aunt Tess' house, okay?" I ask, I see them both nod through the rear-view mirror. "And come back over to get ready for the formal."

"Is it okay that we walk with our dates to the dance?" Amy asks.

"Yeah, of course." I say.

When we get home, we drop our bags off at Ricky's and get prepped for the formal tonight. When I was in high school, we didn't even bother going to the formal, instead we got stoned. I miss those days. Soon the kids are off at the dance and I start walking over to the high school.

"She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies." Andy says behind me.

"How long did it take you to memorize that one verse?" I ask as we walk together.

"Memorize? I wrote it on this little card." He says flashing me his cue card. I simply giggle.

"It would have been more romantic if you memorized it, but that's still cute."

"So why can't you be my date for this evening Mrs Gaskarth?"

"Why I must attend with my husband this evening."

"And where is Mr Gaskarth?"

"Already there, but I'm going to ask for the divorce tonight."

"Otherwise you would have went we me right?"

"Well Jack is a very attractive man and, no I'd probably not go at all. This is my first formal I'm attending so."

"You didn't go to any dances in high school?"

"The second half of junior year I couldn't cause I dropped out to raise a family. And the other years I didn't go because I liked being stoned even more."

"I remember you coming into my classroom stoned, you said you loved me."

"You're right, I did love you."

"And now?"

"I don't love you, I'm in love with you. And what are your feelings?"

"Scar you've always known that I'm in love with you." He kisses me passionately and smiles as we release.

"I'll see you under the stairs at nine." I say.

"Why nine, isn't that a little early?" He asks.

"So you don't want to fuck before the kids get home?"

"No I do."

"Okay see you at nine."

I walk into the gym of pounding music. Hot and sweaty teenagers grinding on each other and kids trying to spike the punch. I walk by the punch table and grab a cup of lemonade.

"Hey." The guy standing next to me says.

"Hi." I say sipping on my drink.

"Do you need a doctor or an ambulance?" He asks.

"Why would I need that?"

"Well I'd imagine it must of hurt when you fell from heaven." He smiles at me.

"That's real cute and all, but if you're trying to pick me up, it's not gonna work."

"Not even just one dance?"

"Just looking at the way everyone's dancing here, I have to decline."

"Well what about a slow dance?"

"Funny, you don't even know my name and you're asking me to dance."

"My name's Ethan Roberts, and you?"

"Scarlet Gaskarth."

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea."

"It's okay, don't sweat it."

"How old are you? If you don't mind me asking."

"Thirty three years old."

"Funny, you don't look a day over eighteen." I blush a little. It's nice being hit on by a younger guy.

"Why thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go see my husband." I say and he nods.

I walk up onto the top of the bleachers and look for Alex. He's no where in sight. I get down and walk through the halls. I walk down to his classroom and walk right in. Alex, Jack, Zack, and Andy sit at the table playing poker.

"Are you kidding me?" I ask, all heads shoot up. "I'm pretty sure there are kids fucking under the bleachers and all of you chaperones are in here playing poker?" Jack, Zack, and Andy pick up their money and walk back to the gym.

"I'm sorry Scar, I didn't think you were going to be here till at least 8:30." Alex starts.

"Come on, I have somewhere to take you." I say. He gets up and follows my lead to my old locker. He smirks at me when we stop here.

"This is the place where we started to get to know each other." He says.

"Yeah it is. Since September, you've been out a lot, where and with who?" I ask.

"Why? Do you think I'm cheating on you?"

"I wouldn't care if you were. I just want the truth."

"And so do I."

"So where have you been?"

"Out at the bar with Jack, picking up chicks."

"So you cheated on me?"

"Yes but they all meant nothing to me. I was drunk and I thought they were you."

"No, don't make up excuses, you don't have to. Since September, I've been sleeping with Andy."

"You've been what?"

"Sleeping with the real father of my children."

"They're not my kids?"

"No, you're not their father."

"So fourteen years of my life are down the drain because of you being to scared to look after your own kids alone?"

"Yes." He punches the locker making me shake nervously. "I want a divorce."

"What? No, I'm not going to let you take away fourteen years. Don't be silly, we just need couples therapy."

"Therapy's not going to solve our issues."

"Don't be stupid Scar, we're staying together!" He yells and pushes me up against the locker. He kisses down my neck and I try to push him off.

"Get off of me!" I yell.

"Baby don't fight me." He cups my ass and holds one of my arms above my head.

"Alex please stop." I cry.

He looks at his hands, then my face. He lets go and runs back into his classroom, locking the door behind him. I slide to the ground and cry into my knees. I'm done with being strong, I've been strong for my kids since I found out I was having them. I'm allowed to be weak.

Once I'm done crying, I get up and walk into the washroom. I grab some toilet paper from a stall and fix my makeup. I let my now messed up french braid down. My curls flow around my pale face. I practice a fake smile in the mirror and walk back out to the gymnasium. I walk up to Jack and slap him across the face.

"You let him cheat on me?" I ask, now I'm just pissed off.

"Yeah because you cheated on him fourteen years ago and had Andy's kids." He says rubbing his cheek.

"Whatever, just tell him to never touch me again."

Iwalk up to Andy and pull him out of the building.

"It's not nine." He says.

"Do you care?" I ask.

"No."

Notes