My Fallen Angel

“There’s something I need t tell you” I say quickly as we sit down

“Jessicka, you don’t-“

“No, just let me. If I don’t do it now, I may not ever be able to” I say, cutting him off
He gives me a look that I can’t quite read, but it’s almost like he’s urging me to stop, but I can’t, he has to know.

I take a deep breath and begin

“Okay, so I lived with my happy, lively, and healthy family until I was four. My wings unfolded and my parents freaked out. What I didn’t tell you is that when my father came home and told me to get out was that I attacked them. I didn’t stick around to know if they had lived or not, but while I was alone on the streets, I’d come back to their house occasionally and for almost seven weeks, no one showed up at the house, so I feared the worst”

I stop and notice that Andy is listening intently and is giving me a look that isn’t exactly horror, but also is. He softens his gaze when he realises that I’m looking at him and I breathe in and out slowly once before continuing

“After seven weeks my father comes home with my mother, but she’s in a wheel chair, her left leg amputated. My father had a broken arm, but I had probably injured them really badly, more so than I saw at that time.” I start to cry

“You really don’t have to do this” Andy says, as he tries to soothe me

“No, I do” I say and try to stop crying.

I continue on with tears still in my eyes

“When I turned five I had had enough of the constant reminder of what I had done to the people who loved me most, so I left. I walked for days until I came here and found a place to stay” I leave out the warehouse, in case I still need somewhere I can go to get away “It was beat up and not at all in living condition, but it was all I had. I lived there until I was nineteen when I met my ex. As you know he was a loving, caring individual who I thought loved me more than anything” I stop

I hold my head in my hands and close my eyes tightly as the voices I haven’t heard in so long start up again. ‘He’s gonna leave’ ‘Kill him before he can hurt you’ ‘He’s not worth your time, just end it now’ are only a few of the things they’re saying. Everything feels so dark and I can feel a pair of hands around my shoulders, shaking me slightly.

No this can’t be happening, not again

“P-please help” I hope I manage to say this out loud, but I don’t know if I did. The shaking gets a little more intense as if someone’s trying to help me, but I’m so
consumed by these voices that only cause destruction.

‘Just kill him already’ one of the voices says fiercely and I cringe as I feel my claws extend and then it’s all gone

“Jessicka!” I hear someone yell

No, not just someone, Andy

I’m pulled back to reality so quickly that I question if any of that happened, but deep down, I know it did, because it’s happened before.

“What happened?” I ask, a little disoriented

“Uh, I-I don’t really know. I guess you had a flashback again” He says, sounding confused

“It wasn’t a flashback” I say before I can stop myself

“Then what was it?”

“Nothing”

“You asked me to help you, obviously it wasn’t nothing”

“So I did manage to say that” I say quietly

“Why were you asking for help? What happened?”

I stay quiet for a while, contemplating whether I should tell him or not.
If I tell him, will he think I’m crazy?

Will he offer to help me in that annoying yet comforting way of his?

Will he just make me leave?

I can’t leave, not now; he knows that I almost killed my parents. But he doesn’t know what I did to my ex. I can still get out and run far away from what will probably soon be a disaster of a relationship

Or I could go on and tell him about the horrible thing I did and trust him like he trusts me.

“Jessicka?”

I’ve been quiet for too long, I have to tell him something, but what?

“They came back” Is all I say. I don’t know if it was for lack of better words or if that was all I wanted to say, but it’s not enough

“What came back?”

I bite down on my tongue hard and I taste the metallic taste of blood. Can I really trust him enough to tell him? What if he really is planning on killing me later, like Lucifer had said? Maybe he’s just waiting to get to know every mistake I’ve made and will use it against me.

“Jessicka, please tell me, I want to help”

“You can’t help me” The all too familiar words ring out of my mouth, but I don’t storm off this time. I just sit there. Helpless and defeated

Andy moves towards me, but I throw my hands up in front of my face in a defensive way, instantly thinking he was gonna hurt me in some way. I’m still looking at him, fear obvious in my eyes, through the gaps in my arms and he moves back and freezes for just a moment before trying to soothe me.

“Jessicka, it’s okay”

I don’t say anything, I just sit there, frozen, hoping he won’t hurt me. My mind is so clouded that I start to think this is my ex instead of Andy and the fear only rises. When he speaks again, I only hear the smooth thoughtful tone, laced with the slurring form the alcohol, of my ex.

“Jessicka, just look at me, I know you’re thinking I’m someone else, but I’m not”
He grabs my arms gently and tries ever so tenderly to make me lower them, but I back away.

“No, please, don’t hurt me” I whimper out and he lets go of me, but I’m not the least bit relieved

“What am I supposed to do? Oh God, I know you’ve forsaken me, but please help” I hear him whisper. I’m not entirely sure who he is anymore

I lower my arms slowly, partly because the blow never came and partly because I’m so confused and my mind is so clouded that I don’t really care what happens anymore. I sit there quietly, looking down at my hands in my lap and start to cry. Why? I’m not exactly sure, but I do nonetheless

“Jess?” He asks slowly and I remember just who he is

Andy wraps his arms around me and suddenly I feel okay again, like none of this ever happened.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” I ask, my voice barely audible

“Nothing would make me happier”

And with that we head to bed

Notes

Only three page chapter this time. Not real happy with the ending, but I wrote this chapter like 7 different ways, so it'll have to do. So, what do you think about Andy actually asking for God's help?

So I was looking through the popular stories and realised my first story, Saviour is still on page 9 and holy hell I am so happy about that!!! If you haven't read it yet, I'd suggest you do, because even though there are plenty of things I'd change about it, I'm still really proud of it. It's got almost 30,000 views so if you guys could help it get there, that'd be amazing

Also, We passed 3,000 views!!! You have no idea how happy that makes me and although this hasn't made it to the popular page yet, I'm still extremely proud of it and you guys make it all worth it. I love all of your reviews even if they're really simple or just one word.

Thank you guys so so much for reading and remember to always stay strong