The Wretched And Divine
I Will Take This Burden On
ANDY'S POV
I woke to excessive movement and what seemed like crying next to me. I opened my eyes and looked around to see Alex thrashing about and crying in her sleep.
"No, get off me!" She shouted. I put my hand on her shoulder and gently attempted to shake her awake.
"Please, stop!" She cried. The guys must have heard her yelling from downstairs because soon they're all rushing into my room, on alert. The four surrounded my bed and watched Alex closely, unsure of what to do.
"I want Andy!" Alex yelled, shattering my heart. I decided i had enough of hearing this, it's obvious she's having a nightmare about Max. I put my hands on her shoulders and shook her awake, screaming her name in the process.
She fought for a little before finally coming to and holding on to me for dear life. I allowed her to sob into my shoulder as i held her tightly.
"I c-can't do this, A-andy!" She exclaimed. I kissed her head.
"Yes you can baby." I said reassuringly, with a shaking voice. It killed me to see her this broken. Alex ripped herself from my grasp and sat on her knees.
"No, no i can't! I'm in so much pain i can barely fucking walk and, and, i can't close my eyes without the image of him on top of me being the only thing i see! It just happened last night and it's alright driving me insane!" She rambled, breathing deeply. I was about to speak when she roughly grabbed on to my arms.
"Please, just kill me Andy. Please. If you don't i will." Alex whispered, looking at me with pleading eyes meaning she was serious. I shook my head rapidly.
"Please don't talk like that," I begged. "I couldn't possibly live without you, don't let him win. We can get through this together, i promise." I whispered back, tearing up a bit. She nodded weakly.
"Ash, can we talk for a second?" I asked, turning around to look at my best friend. He nodded slightly, still transfixed on the scene before him. I went to pull away from Alex, only to have her grip on me tighten.
"Baby, i'll just be in the other room. You're safe here with Jinxx, Jake, and CC." I reassured her. She nodded and hesitantly let go.
I walked out of the room with Ashley, already hearing Jinxx become his usual 'motherly' self and try to make Alex feel better. Ash followed me to the guest bedroom and i stepped aside to let him in. I closed the door behind me.
"What do you wanna talk about?" He asked. I looked at him with tears brimming in my eyes.
"I can't do this Ash. I fucking can't! It's all my fault..." I whimpered, full on crying now. Ashley wrapped his arms around me, almost awkwardly since i'm taller then him.
"It's not your fault Andy, you can't keep blaming yourself." Ash said. I shook my head and ripped myself from his grasp.
"No! It is! If i didn't freak out over her telling me you guys kissed and never hit her or called her a whore, she would have never left the house! I knew how unsafe it was for her to be out alone, especially at night, i should have never started that fight with her! Fuck, it's my fault she got raped." I cried out. Ashley was about to reply when we heard yelling coming from my bedroom. We quickly left the guest bedroom. Just as i was about to open the door, i heard something that broke my already broken heart.
"I'm tainted, disgusting! He's not gonna want me anymore, Jinxx! Don't you see? He can't even look at me! I know he's gonna leave me, i just know it. Then what? I'll have nothing to live for, i'll end up killing myself." Alex shouted. I ran into the room and engulfed her in a hug, causing her sobs to escalate.
"I'll never leave you, never. I love you more than anything in this fucked up world, baby." I confessed. She nodded and said i loved you too. Alex yawned so i told the guys to get some sleep. Once they left, i crawled into bed with Alex after turning the light off. We exchanged i love you's once more and Alex fell fast asleep. Me on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking.
I woke to excessive movement and what seemed like crying next to me. I opened my eyes and looked around to see Alex thrashing about and crying in her sleep.
"No, get off me!" She shouted. I put my hand on her shoulder and gently attempted to shake her awake.
"Please, stop!" She cried. The guys must have heard her yelling from downstairs because soon they're all rushing into my room, on alert. The four surrounded my bed and watched Alex closely, unsure of what to do.
"I want Andy!" Alex yelled, shattering my heart. I decided i had enough of hearing this, it's obvious she's having a nightmare about Max. I put my hands on her shoulders and shook her awake, screaming her name in the process.
She fought for a little before finally coming to and holding on to me for dear life. I allowed her to sob into my shoulder as i held her tightly.
"I c-can't do this, A-andy!" She exclaimed. I kissed her head.
"Yes you can baby." I said reassuringly, with a shaking voice. It killed me to see her this broken. Alex ripped herself from my grasp and sat on her knees.
"No, no i can't! I'm in so much pain i can barely fucking walk and, and, i can't close my eyes without the image of him on top of me being the only thing i see! It just happened last night and it's alright driving me insane!" She rambled, breathing deeply. I was about to speak when she roughly grabbed on to my arms.
"Please, just kill me Andy. Please. If you don't i will." Alex whispered, looking at me with pleading eyes meaning she was serious. I shook my head rapidly.
"Please don't talk like that," I begged. "I couldn't possibly live without you, don't let him win. We can get through this together, i promise." I whispered back, tearing up a bit. She nodded weakly.
"Ash, can we talk for a second?" I asked, turning around to look at my best friend. He nodded slightly, still transfixed on the scene before him. I went to pull away from Alex, only to have her grip on me tighten.
"Baby, i'll just be in the other room. You're safe here with Jinxx, Jake, and CC." I reassured her. She nodded and hesitantly let go.
I walked out of the room with Ashley, already hearing Jinxx become his usual 'motherly' self and try to make Alex feel better. Ash followed me to the guest bedroom and i stepped aside to let him in. I closed the door behind me.
"What do you wanna talk about?" He asked. I looked at him with tears brimming in my eyes.
"I can't do this Ash. I fucking can't! It's all my fault..." I whimpered, full on crying now. Ashley wrapped his arms around me, almost awkwardly since i'm taller then him.
"It's not your fault Andy, you can't keep blaming yourself." Ash said. I shook my head and ripped myself from his grasp.
"No! It is! If i didn't freak out over her telling me you guys kissed and never hit her or called her a whore, she would have never left the house! I knew how unsafe it was for her to be out alone, especially at night, i should have never started that fight with her! Fuck, it's my fault she got raped." I cried out. Ashley was about to reply when we heard yelling coming from my bedroom. We quickly left the guest bedroom. Just as i was about to open the door, i heard something that broke my already broken heart.
"I'm tainted, disgusting! He's not gonna want me anymore, Jinxx! Don't you see? He can't even look at me! I know he's gonna leave me, i just know it. Then what? I'll have nothing to live for, i'll end up killing myself." Alex shouted. I ran into the room and engulfed her in a hug, causing her sobs to escalate.
"I'll never leave you, never. I love you more than anything in this fucked up world, baby." I confessed. She nodded and said i loved you too. Alex yawned so i told the guys to get some sleep. Once they left, i crawled into bed with Alex after turning the light off. We exchanged i love you's once more and Alex fell fast asleep. Me on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking.
@Red Phoenix77 i wrote this back when i was about 13 (im 18 now) but i assume that my thought process was that vampires weren't undead, they were very much alive. also, i was very inexperienced when writing this story so i didn't put too much thought into things. maybe i'll re-write it one day! :)
9/20/17