Be the Death of Me

Olivia's POV:

My stomach twists with nausea as i clink the play button on the video, and I can feel a small amount of pressure building behind my tired eyes: I can already feel the tears beginning to break through. This won't end well, that I know.

The video is short, but carries an impossibly large message loud and clear: Ashley is cheating on me.

In a brief summary, the video is a recording of Ashley (my boyfriend) kissing a girl with shiny black hair as she straddles his waist, while topless. Things progress for the remainder of the video, which i instantaneously pause before I gurl my phone against the bed, our shared bed. The pressure behind my eyelids begins to powerfully burn as a pounding begins to form at the nape of my neck, spreading all throughout my scalp.

I dont bother holding back the tears and angry curse words as I collapse atop the mound of blankets and pillows, my body shaking as well as shuddering in dry heaves. How could he do this to me? I thought he loved me? I mean, he spent all this time erasing my insecurities and raising my self-esteem and now he just rips it to shreds with his bare hands, him and that girl.

Eventually, I haul my body into a sitting position, curling my knees weakly to my chest. I take a few shaky, yet deep breaths in a feeble attempt to calm myself before I abruptly stand up, suddenly feeling incredibly claustrophobic.

In an instant, I rush to the balcony door attached to the master bedroom, and I fling the double doors open, ignoring the chilly December air. I dart towards the railing and my knuckles turn white under my firm grip; they are practically the only thing holding me up at the moment.

I never knew heartbreak could ever hurt like this. This indescribable, painful void of darkness that has washed over my heart and is promptly shattering it into a million, billion tiny pieces. I want to break some things, something of Ashley's, so maybe then he can feel just how painful this is right now. But he probably won't even care, swing as right about now, he's sleeping with some random girl who had no respect for me, his girlfriend. The girl that he is supposed to love.

The wind slashes angrily against my numb flesh, harshly tangling my blonde hair and dragging painfully against my tear-stained cheeks. But even this sharp, stinging sensation is nothing compared to the pain in my heart.

My knees buckle under my weightless body, and I fall to my knees, my fingers still tightly gripping the frigid metal rail. My knuckles eventually give way, and my arms drop lifelessly to the floor beside me, but nothing registers within my imploded brain.

I stay out there all night, the cold wind biting at my bare skin as my mind tries, tries so hard to think of what to do next.

But in this excruciating moment, I just feel alone and lost.

Notes

Ashley is officially an asshoke. How could he cheat on Olivia like that? Poor girl is incredibly heartbroken and deserves nothing but the best after everything that has happened to her. Especially since she is outside by herself and possibly freezing to death. Hell, even LA gets cold in the winter and especially at night.