Its been three months since the worst day, Andy and I have never once mentioned that night I found him crying. He became strong again, while I kept getting weaker, and weaker. I had to go back to work, but it was hard to concentrate. It seemed like the kids helped me out more than I did to them. I always thought, 'just give it time, the pain will go away.' but it seemed as if the pain grew more and more each day. I eat less than I used to, I sleep less, unless its those nights I cry myself to sleep, which are happening more frequently. I've lost a lot of weight, and I don't exercise anymore. From what I know, I can say, and be 100% sure, that I am suffering through severe depression. Of course Andy is here helping through it all. He is an angel. I don't know how he can put up with me, and my loads of problems. I guess he does truly love me. I love that. However I begin to worry about him too. Him having to see me like this must hurt him. I know it kills him! He has to wake me up every night from nightmares. He has to try super hard to make me eat, and hold my hair back when I end up throwing it all up. He has to wipe away my tears whenever he tries to take me out. He holds me whenever I get home from work, exhausted. And on top of all that he has to make a new album by October. Scratch that, by January of 2013, they couldn't make the deadline. As much as he says its because he just couldn't, I know its because I held it back with my problems. "Maybe you should just leave me?" I question him every time this subject comes up. "Don't you dare say that! I love you, and I'll never leave you!" he answered. I stay quiet. I'm sure he thinks it sometimes. I know he does. Like I always say, 'How can he love me? He's Andy Biersack! And I'm, well, me.' It doesn't make sense. He might leave you one of these days if you don't get your fuckin' act together! A knock interrupted my thoughts. "Come in..." my voice cracked. The door slowly creeped open and raveled Andy. I gave him a weak smile. "Hey babe, do you think you're in the mood to go out tonight?" he walked over and sat next to me on the bed. I nodded, "If I do go you know how it's going to end..." I whispered. "C'mon babe, you have to go out. For your health! Staying locked in here is not going to help you! You know this. You majored in this!" He smiled, I couldn't help but rise the corners of my mouth a little. This was the first time I honestly smiled, a real smile, not the ones I usually fake. Andy's smile grew. "I miss that smile babe, c'mon, lets go." He took my hand and tugged it. I looked at him and nodded. I slowly got out from under the covers, Andy helped me out of bed. When I was on my feet he gave me the tightest bear hug. "I love you so much Crystal." he said and kissed my neck. "I'll let you get ready." He kissed my forehead this time and walked out of the room. I took a quick shower, shaved my legs, all these feminine things. I decided on leaving my natural, in Andy's words 'sexy', wavy hair down. I wore black, shredded tight jeans. With a black tank, and some black, ankle length army boots. A tight, black leather jacket, a black beanie, and my black purse. I did my cat-eye makeup and walked out. "Ready..." I whispered. Andy stood up from the couch and walked to me. He took my hand in his and walked to his car. "Where are we going?" I asked. "We're just going to the movies, and later for a walk or dinner if you get hungry." He smiled. I nodded, and gave him another weak smile. His smile quickly faded. "Do you mind if I put music on?" he asked me. Last time he put music on I freaked out. "No, you can go ahead." I told him. He plugged in his cellphone and pressed play. My Immortal by Evanescence started. "Is this ok?" he asked. I nodded. He sang along for a while, I started to get depressed. This was reminding me of Stacy. Don't cry! Don't cry! Don't cry! Too late, a few tears escaped my eyes, I quickly wiped them away before Andy noticed. He then turned off the music. "I'm sorry..." I whispered. "It's ok babe, I know..." he told me. "Andy...can we just go home. I'm not in a movie watching mood." "But babe your already dolled up." The tears were coming out, "Andy please, just take me home..." I cried. He turned the car, but parked in the side of the rode. "Ok babe! We need to talk." the tears were pouring out. "I love you Crystal! With all my heart, and seeing you like this is killing me! Babe I know it hurts, I know! But this just isn't normal anymore. It's been three months babe! Three! I'm not telling you to get over it and forget all about her, but babe you have to move on a little! Thinking about it is hurting you, and your hurt is killing me! You think I can stand seeing you like this! Babe..." his voice cracked. "Babe, you need to move on. This just isn't healthy anymore, its scaring me and the guys! Do you think Stacy would enjoy seeing you like this!" that was the first time I heard her name these past three months. The tears were pouring out even more, but Andy didn't stop. "You need to get better! You need to stay strong! Just stop this..." I cut him off. "You think I want to be like this! Do you think I want to see you and everyone else suffer! NO ANDY! It's not as easy to just move on and forget about her! Or to 'stay strong' I miss her! Andy! I cant... I cant..." I was crying. "I can't go on! I can't do this anymore! Why? Why couldn't of been me! WHY!" I screamed. I quickly felt arms around me."NO! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! JUST LEAVE ME ANDY! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! JUST GO! GO!" I screamed louder. I started hitting, slaping, and punshing myself. Andy took my hands and got a strong grip on them. "Crystal! Calm down! I'm not going anywhere! I'm not leaving you!" I struggled out of his grip to try and hit myself again. "BABE! PLEASE! STOP!" I continued, "CRYSTAL! PLEASE STOP THIS! BABE!" I let out an agonizing scream! "EVA STOP!" Andy ordered. He never calls me Eva anymore. The shock of hearing it made me stop. He quickly wrapped his arms around me, as I was weeping. "Please babe, please..." he begged.