My Fallen Angel
Chapter 6: What am I living for?
Jake was now fully clothed and practicing on his electric guitar. He was a bit moody because he had to do lots of boring chores and I didn't because I was a 'guest'. I knew he wasn't angry at me but I knew because of my presence, he needed to do way more.
Life was as bad as it'd ever been, and quite frankly, I was finding it hard for me to cope. My parents were furious at me and my brother for leaving and I had received messages from my mom and dad. For example they sent me a text earlier saying:
I will kill u, u little peice of shit. I'll strangle u and stab ur brother!
Of course I took no action and didn't reply. My past was coming back to me, the cutting, the suicide attempt and all the times i'd hoped to god my brother would come back and save me from this horrible thing I called life.
That happened but I still cut for 3 months after. I was broken and when my brother swore on his life he's protect me, I was fixed. Temporarily. I still had a blade in my bag and the sudden urge to do one more cut waved over me and forced me.
I went into the bathroom and pulled my makeup bag. I opened the small secret pocket and grabbed it, Hello old friend. With every cut was one memory I thought i'd blocked out and hadn't, the tears were now all of the times i'd felt I wasn't good enough. The blood was karma, I deserved every ugly scar on my body because I was just a slut and a harlet.
Suddenly Andy walked in "What are you doing-- Why?" I cried in his arms "I'm scared Andy, and I don't know how long I can cope for." I uttered sobbing. My brother was the only thing that kept me sane. So he led me to his bedroom and layed me down on the bed and stroked my hair while singing to me as my eyes slowly closed. Everything in me and my brother life was crumbling under our feet and yet my brother had held it together for me. I knew was brother was scared shitless as well, but he was always strong for someone else.
Maybe it's me who keeps him sane, but I know I'm worthless and I mean nothing to anyone, but I'm gonna hold on for him and Jake.
Life was as bad as it'd ever been, and quite frankly, I was finding it hard for me to cope. My parents were furious at me and my brother for leaving and I had received messages from my mom and dad. For example they sent me a text earlier saying:
I will kill u, u little peice of shit. I'll strangle u and stab ur brother!
Of course I took no action and didn't reply. My past was coming back to me, the cutting, the suicide attempt and all the times i'd hoped to god my brother would come back and save me from this horrible thing I called life.
That happened but I still cut for 3 months after. I was broken and when my brother swore on his life he's protect me, I was fixed. Temporarily. I still had a blade in my bag and the sudden urge to do one more cut waved over me and forced me.
I went into the bathroom and pulled my makeup bag. I opened the small secret pocket and grabbed it, Hello old friend. With every cut was one memory I thought i'd blocked out and hadn't, the tears were now all of the times i'd felt I wasn't good enough. The blood was karma, I deserved every ugly scar on my body because I was just a slut and a harlet.
Suddenly Andy walked in "What are you doing-- Why?" I cried in his arms "I'm scared Andy, and I don't know how long I can cope for." I uttered sobbing. My brother was the only thing that kept me sane. So he led me to his bedroom and layed me down on the bed and stroked my hair while singing to me as my eyes slowly closed. Everything in me and my brother life was crumbling under our feet and yet my brother had held it together for me. I knew was brother was scared shitless as well, but he was always strong for someone else.
Maybe it's me who keeps him sane, but I know I'm worthless and I mean nothing to anyone, but I'm gonna hold on for him and Jake.
Oh my... What if she got in a relationship with with Jake and Andy but in secret... Don't stop
11/25/14