Two years later…


The date was June sixteenth, 2017. It was the two-year anniversary of Black Veil Brides’ bassist, Ashley Purdy-Biersack’s passing. He’d been murdered by a crazed fan who’d broken into the home he’d shared with his husband and their young daughter, the same daughter the psychotic woman had originally been trying to kill. He’d laid down his life for Legacy, his pride and joy, just as he’d sworn to do while he was still pregnant with her, if it came right down to it.

Andy Biersack, the husband he’d left behind, was still struggling to cope with the sudden loss of his sweetheart, the only one he’d sworn to ever love. He’d lost everything he held near and dear to his heart that night, although part of his loss didn’t come until several months later. He’d lost his husband, his Outlaw and deviant, he lost his band, his biggest dream, several months later, and nearly lost his sanity.

Six months after Ash’s passing, when he’d finally felt he could continue to make music again, he and the other remaining members of his band, lead guitarist Jake Pitts, multi-instrumentalist Jeremy “Jinxx” Ferguson, who’d been his sweetheart’s best friend, and drummer Christian “CC” Coma, had headed for the studio. They all wanted to make an album full of covers of their fallen bassist’s favorite songs, regardless of what genre they came from. Most of them were Mötley Crüe, as that was the effeminate man’s favorite band, by far, his love for them having been shown by forming his own tribute band called Children of the Beast years before joining Black Veil Brides. Even the original band members who’d written the songs joined in to help them however they could.

It was after the release of that fifth album, entitled For the Love of Ashley, that they found they couldn’t continue the band. They’d tried their hardest on that album, even on the subsequent tour to support it, which they had to cut short, but it just wasn’t the same without their beloved bassist. Nothing was the same without the fun-loving, overly-perverted, cuddle bug they knew as Ashley Biersack. It hurt too much to play their old songs, songs he’d written, tracked, and performed the bass lines to, and nothing new sounded the same without his influence. They decided to part ways musically, but remain close friends outside the music industry.

“Good morning, my sweet little fallen angel,” Andy said as cheerfully as he could.

His three and a-half-year-old daughter, Legacy, looked up at him with the same icy-blue eyes he had, which scrunched shut as she yawned.

“Did you sleep good, Princess?” he asked, kneeling down beside her toddler bed.

“Mmm hmm, Daddy,” she answered sleepily. She looked so cute when she was just waking up, just as her mama had before his passing.

“Let’s get you dressed, then get some breakfast. That sound good to you?”

“Yeah, Daddy. I’m hungry.” The little girl nodded her head as vigorously as she could in her half-asleep state.

The motions reminded him so much of his lost love, whom she looked identical to, that it wasn’t even funny, but he put those depressing thoughts aside. This sweet little girl, no matter how much she looked like Ash, was the only thing helping him to retain his sanity, which was something he needed today. The first anniversary of his love’s death was hard enough; every subsequent anniversary would only be harder.

“What do you want for breakfast, Princess?” Andy asked, carrying his daughter on his hip.

“Pancakes!” she answered enthusiastically, more awake now.

“Pancakes, huh?” he asked, trying not to cry. Aside from when he was pregnant with her, that’d been his sweetheart’s favorite breakfast, too.

“Yeah, Daddy. They’re yummy!” Legacy answered, nodding.

“All right, all right, Princess. Pancakes, it is,” the young man agreed solemnly.

He quickly put her down on the kitchen floor, making sure she wasn’t under foot as he grabbed the ingredients he needed to make them from scratch. Moments after he got the mixing bowl and ingredients on the counter, he heard the doorbell ring, which sent his daughter flying to the front door. He yelled after Legacy as he turned to follow her to see who it was before she opened the door, scared to death for her safety after what’d taken his beloved Ash from them.

“Uncle Jake!” he heard her cry happily.

“Ooh, Legacy!” he heard the man he considered a brother answer. “Look how big you’ve gotten!”

“Hey, Jake,” he said, coming up behind the child he’d just picked up.

“Hey, Andy,” Jake answered, kissing the little girl’s temple. “Ella and I figured you could use some company.”

“Thanks, man. What would I do without you, Ella, Jinxx, Sammi, and Chuppy?” the younger man chuckled. They all knew how hard the anniversary of his husband’s death was for him.

“Hey, Andy,” Ella said a bit breathlessly. She had hers and Jake’s daughter, Katie, by the hand, her free hand resting on her swelling belly.

“Jesus, Ella,” he said, quickly picking the two-year-old up. “Jake, why the Hell didn’t you help her?”

“You know how independent she can be,” his friend responded. “I tried to get her to let me help her, but she wouldn’t.”

“C’mon, guys. I was just about to make breakfast,” he said, wrapping his arm around his friend’s wife’s shoulders for support.

Jake closed the door behind them, Legacy still held on his hip against his chest. She had her little thumb in her mouth, a habit he hadn’t been able to break her of yet, and he sighed as he shook his head. In the kitchen, he set little Katie down, letting the girls run off to the den to play while they stayed in the kitchen and he cooked up a bigger batch of pancakes than he’d originally planned.

“So how’ve you been doing?” his friend asked, concern lacing his voice.

“I’ve been all right,” Andy answered, offering the pair a cup of coffee. “Obviously not my old self, but all things considered…”

“I guess that’s a good thing,” the guitarist sighed. “We know it’s been hard for you.”

“Hell, we’ve even tried to get you to let us babysit so you can have some time to yourself…” Ella agreed.

“The offer’s appreciated,” he told her, smiling sadly as he started breakfast. “Believe me, Ella, it’s not that I don’t trust you with her, or because I’m trying to be unreasonable; it’s just that I need her around.”

The couple sitting at his breakfast bar gave him a curious look, not understanding what he meant.

“Ever since Ash passed, I fear for her safety. I fear that if I let her out of sight or earshot for too long, something really will happen to her.” He paused for a deep breath, trying not to cry. “Not only that, but she’s the only thing that keeps me sane ever since that night. If I don’t have her around, I’ll lose my sanity and wind up in a mental hospital.”

“Why do you say that, Andy?” Ella asked, sounding extremely concerned.

“Because if I don’t have her to focus on since she needs me so much, I’ll have a break down that I’ll never recover from.”

His friends gasped in shock, covering their mouths with their hands.

“Jesus Christ, Andy,” Jake breathed. “We didn’t know it was that bad.”

“Jake, you’ve never lost your spouse, and I pray to every deity out there that you never do,” Andy told him. “It’s hard for me to go on each day without him by my side, even though I know he’s waiting patiently and knows we’ll be together again someday.”

“And knowing Legacy needs you keeps you from breaking down and doing something you’ll regret, right?” Ella asked, gently covering his hand with hers.

“Yes. I’ve never turned to self-harm in the past, and I’ve never tried to kill myself with alcohol, although I admit that I’ve taken it a bit too far at times.” He sighed heavily. “But if I don’t have Legacy to concentrate on, I’m afraid I’ll do the unthinkable and that one of the times you, Jinxx, Sammi, or CC comes over here to check on and hang out with me, you’ll find me dead.”

His friend’s pregnant wife got up and wrapped her arms around him, gently rubbing her hands up and down his back in a soothing gesture. He’d made it quite clear after the loss of his husband that he was having a hard time coping, that it was by no means easy for him to continue on, but he hadn’t told them the full truth. He didn’t want them watching over him like hawks, like he really was a suicide risk, when he had something to be thankful for and take care of besides himself. If Ash were looking down on him from wherever he went after Death, he’d be proud to see that his lover was doing the best he could.

Once he’d pulled himself together again, Andy finished the breakfast he’d been about to make before their arrival, even though he’d had to add to it. His friends rounded up the girls and got them settled at the dining room table for him while he served the food, and he thanked them. Yeah, things were tough, but he knew that he—as well as his life—would get better as time passed.

After breakfast, the rest of his friends showed up to lend their support, too. He knew it was hard for Jinxx and Sammi, who’d been divorced for a while now, to be in the same room as one another, but they put aside their differences for their needy friend. The multi-instrumentalist’s ex-wife had been the one to take his sweetheart to the hospital and stay by his side until Andy’s arrival when he went into labor with Legacy; it only made sense for her to be here today.

Even CC did his best to cheer the poor young man up, making him laugh so hard he couldn’t breathe as often as possible so that the day was easier for him. He tried not to let the sadness of this day get to him, tried to let his friends cheer him up and remind him that, while there was pain in life, there was also happiness, too. By the time they left around sunset, he was definitely in better spirits, although they still weren’t as good as when his sweetheart was still alive. He thanked them profusely as he saw them out, grateful they’d thought to come over and make sure he and Legacy were doing okay when they could’ve just ignored them and the date. Andy sighed as he put the girl to bed, staring at his old wedding band as he grasped the necklace hidden in his shirt.

Notes