Razer blades and pencils

we had ben dating for 5 days now i was with keagan at his band practice I was talking to raven

"so your dating keagan endless goodbye basest" Raven said as they practiced
"yup hes all mine"I said we made eye contact as he started a solo on his bass he smiled and I giggled
"so how are you" Raven asked
"ugh I hate how you can see right throw my walls can we step out side to a place more privet"I said we walked into the next room
"what is it girl" Raven asked
I rolled up my selves and showed her 14 cuts on my arm
"why Chrissy why" she said
"I coulent help my self I was feeling so angry I tried to go to the guys for help but they where busy so I helped myself raven I want to stop I want to learn to stop" I said
"keagans brother can help he used to cut and he learned to stop"rave said
"what I herd my name why oh my god" Keagan said walking in to the room I started at him for seconds then quietly pulled my sleeve down I turned away from keagan I felt someone rap there arms around me
'what can I do to help" keagan whispered in my ear
"I want to talk to Erick I need him to show me how to stop" I whispered back
"lets go now" he said he pulled me by the wrist to his car.


we got to his house and he guided me to his brothers room he was drawing a wolf
"Erick this is my girlfriend Chrissy" keagan said then gently pushed me in the room and closed the door and left
"uh hi" I said
"you can sit down so what do you need" Eric said
"well before I spill my life's work out I kinda want to know something about you" I said sitting on his bed
"i'm Eric im 13 and i love sports and i love wolves so much" he said
"okay Im Chrissy i'm 15 and i love comics and music" I said
I pulled up my selves
"i need to know how to stop this" I said
"okay frist you need to know that it will take years to stop completely and the want to cut wont stop it never will you just have to learn how to cope" he said sitting by me
"frist the next time you want to cut make a list of all the things that make you happy" he said
"but what fi that dose not work"I said
"put on some of your favorite music call up a friend and ask for help draw scream the lyrics to your favorite song work out go for a run dance skateboard write smile" he said
"when you want to cut you have to do something if you sit and let that build up you will cut you have to move and do something " he said
"how long will it take" I asked
"i don't know" he said
"but what if i do cut" I asked
"then you cut" he said
"what made you stop cutting" I asked
"my dad died and my brother fell apart and that was when I started cutting a few years after that there was this girl that i liked i talked t her and she saw my cutts and she said she cant date me because i was a emo depressed kid and i din't want people to treat me like that so i stopped" he said
"why did you start cutting" he asked
I had a fight with my parents and that was what pushed me over the edge' I said
"thats really all i can tell you" he said standing up and opening the door
"thanks uh wheres your bother" I asked
"his room is down the hall and to the left" he said I walked down the hall and his door was open he was laying on his back with one of his 5 basses on his shirtless chest he had his headphones on and he was gently storming his bass
i walked in slowly and put my hands over his eyes and a smile crept on his face he sat up and set his bass to the side and toke his headphones off I sat next to him and he warped his arm around me
"how did it go" he asked
'good" I said
"i love you so mutch words can not express and it hurts me when you hurt yourself so plz stop" he said
"i will I promis" I said
"don't make promises you can't keep" he said
"but its true i will stop"I said
"yeah but in that proses you might still cut but you will stop cutting" he said
'that makes no sense" I said
"yeah I know" he said we laoghed
"I have to get home I have some things I have to do" I said
"okay" he said and he walked me to my house because we lived about a mile form each other I walked into my room and called andy
"hey how you doin" Andy said
'good good what about you' I asked
"tired it's so hard to sleep on a bus but how you and keagan doin" he asked
"good where dating now" I said
"oh yeah you told me that already" he said
there was along salience
"i got to go chrissy i have a show to get ready for" he said
'okay by" I said and hung up I pluged my phone into my amplafire and put on knives and pens I truned it up as high as it could go I could feel the vibrations on the floor I smiled I layed on my bed and let the music take me over

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