Unabridged and Uncontrollable

I lay on the bathroom floor. Finally I smiled. He had just left and I had gone to rid myself of what I hadn't eaten but I just couldn't. I was too happy for the sad. Too found to feel lost. To fixed and glued and placed back where I belonged I even comprehend broken. I just lay there still feeling his strong arms wrapped around my body. I had never had anyone like him before. He was my best friend. My only friend. He made me feel so safe and I wasn't scared anymore.
Rolling over, I stood up as my phone began to ring.
Long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I wanna be saved
My song has not been sung
So long live-
"Hello?" I answered it, brightened further by my ringtone. I barely got to hear that song anymore. I loved All Time Low but it would only download as aringtone and nobody ever called me.
"Hey Grid."
"Grid? Really? I sound like a board game, And."
"And? Okay you're not grid if I'm not And." I laughed. Talking was so easy. We had talked for over two hours earlier and now it flowed like air.
"Fine. Are you OK?"
"Yeah. Earlier, you said you had never been to a party. Social anxiety and panic attacks, am I right?"
"Fuck, you're not…"
"You are coming to a party with me. It will be fun and you don't have to talk to anyone. We can just sit outside together. Okay?"
"People will notice me."
"I'll stand in front of you."
"People will notice you."
"I'll be ok. I can't be scared anymore. Two scared together just makes life hard."
"Ok." I nodded, admiring how brave he was being.
"I'll be there at 6. You'll be alright, I promise."
"Ok." I hung up and slowly walked to my bedroom, expecting the plummeting stomach and nausea to kick in but it didn't come. Opening my closet, I stared at it. Scanning the makeup shelf, I spotted a hair dye box I thought I had got rid of and a plan immediately sprang to my mind. It was my old raven black. Without contemplation, I was running to the bathroom, eager to feel myself again.

I threw on the only dress I had and began doing my makeup. I was almost shaking but I couldn't tell whether it was from excitement or nerves. I had never thought I would be here, prepping myself to be seen. After hiding for so long, it felt like I was rising from my own ashes and seeing the world again in a new light. I could be whoever the fuck I wanted to be with Andy and I was in love with the feeling. Like walking on air. My doorbell rung, slicing through the empty silence and echoing slightly. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun as I answered the door. Andy stepped in as I lopsidedly stepped to put my other shoe on.
"Ingrid?" I turned. "Your hair looks stunning. You look stunning."
"Thanks." I bowed my head, my cheeks stained a light pink.
"Hey." Andy walked over to me and enveloped me in a hug. I took a deep breath into his jacket as his arms snaked round my body, holding me close. "Are you ready?"
I checked myself over then looked up at him and nodded. "Yeah."

Andy's P.O.V
She just kept drinking. She looked terrified, crouching in the corner by my feet. I wanted to lift her out of here and go back to the stands. To our safe place. I looked her and she caught my eye and stood up. Falling into me, she ran her hands through her hair, undoing the bun so it cascaded down her back. She leant on my chest and I stroked her head. She stared at me and then stood up on her tiptoes and brushed my lips with her own. My stomach burst into butterflies as she locked our lips. She breathed and her breath, aside from the alcohol, tasted like heaven. She smiled into the kiss as I began to gently kiss her back, our breath mingling as our lips moulded around each other, fitting perfectly. A precise collision of our faces. My heart was beating out a strong rhythm and I was so sure she could feel it. The shock of the moment was with me as she pulled away and turned around. Her body twisted as she tried to free herself from my arms but I held her by her waist. She turned back to me, looked me right in the eyes, her eyes a demonic black, her pupils like full moons, overpowering the usual grey blue. Before I could breathe, she had collapsed over my arms. I listened for her steady breathing then carried her out of the house and home. Laying her into her bed, I contemplated staying. Deciding as she slept, a fragile angel, curled up in a cocoon of duvet, that she would be OK until the morning. Her arms, covered in those long red lines I had seen only this morning, were draped over the edge of the bed and I lifted them to tuck them nearer. If I couldn't fight my own monsters, I sure as hell would battle hers.

Notes

Ingrid's Outift- http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=130041056

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