Wretchedly Divine (Gasping for Air)

As was tradition I showered and dressed in my Sunday clothes, which were much fancier looking. I thought it was stupid, but acted like it was perfectly natural as I brushed my hair out and made sure it hung exactly straight down, the way F.E.A.R. deemed it should.

I walked out to the living room where my mother was already settling on the sofa and getting ready to watch the still screen. The voice of F.E.A.R. never actually showed his face. He was just a voice, but he was the leader. He was in charge of everything that happened, and no one knew he was the Voice. Whoever he was the Voice lived a normal life, and only the shadows and the previous voice knew who he was. He walked among us without anyone knowing it, and went to work and lived the same life that other members of F.E.A.R. lived.

When the television flicked on my father was just entering, and he sat down immediately beside me and my mother, in the middle of the couch.

“We present- The Voice of F.E.A.R.” A gravelly voice said over the speakers on the front of the television.

There was a brief pause and then the emblem of F.E.A.R. appeared and the Voice began.
“Good Evening citizens. I am very pleased to be speaking to all of you once again. Your devotion and love of F.E.A.R. is appreciated immensely. I have some very interesting news to share with all of you. Recently we have had an influx of escape attempts, so beginning tomorrow morning, we will be in placing the following security procedures.”

A different voice came on and read out the new rules.

“All patrols will be accompanied by a Shadow, and the security surrounding the facility will be increased. There will be guards placed outside the walls who will conduct patrols and searches. Curfew has been lowered from eight P.M. to nine P.M.”

The Voice came back on.

“I’m sure you all understand that we only do this for your safety, which we always have at the forefront of our minds. We want you to live the happiest fullest life possible, and these rebels seek to destroy that life, and we cannot have that. Thank you for your time, and good night.”

The television went black again and I turned to my parents. “Well, that’s good, I’m glad there are going to be less people running out on F.E.A.R. but what about the guards outside, won’t they be in danger. What if the rebels are out there, and they hurt the guards?” I asked my father, worried, but not for the reason I just stated. They said everything was beginning tomorrow, but did they mean that? What if they were going to up the patrols today in order to catch anyone trying to escape, that was what I would do.

“The guards are very well trained, honey, don’t worry about that.” My father assured me.
“Okay, I hope so.” I said, distracted by the potentially disastrous outcome of my escape attempt tonight.

I was willing to die trying to escape, that was all there was to it. I had to be, or else I’d never succeed.

“Honey, why don’t you go get ready for bed, it looks like you’re really upset by this, and a good sleep will calm you down.” My mother interrupted my thoughts, and I looked over at her, smiling.

“Yeah, I hope so, but… people that go against F.E.A.R., they’re definitely dangerous. I just… what if someone gets hurt?” I asked, feeling tears prick my eyes that were legitimate, but not for what I was saying, rather the fact that six months of planning might have been completely wasted.

“Look at it this way honey. If someone gets hurt, at least it was someone who was protecting you, and everyone. F.E.A.R. would treat them with great respect and probably give them as much time as they need to recover.” My father reassured me, rubbing my back comfortingly.
“But… the rebels… what if they kill someone?” I asked him, and a tear rolled down my cheek.

He hugged me to him, and cooed softly. “It’s okay honey, don’t worry about that. Dying for F.E.A.R. is a very honorable way to die.” He told me softly. “F.E.A.R. would take care of their family, and everything would be okay. Trust F.E.A.R. honey, trust The Voice. He knows what he’s doing.” He told me and I nodded, feeling my mother stroke my hair.

“I know it’s against the rules, but go ahead and go take another bath honey, just soak in the tub for a little while, that should calm your nerves.” My mother told me, kissing my forehead.

“Alright.” I murmured, thinking that a good soak would be a perfect combatant to dehydration that would probably ensue after a few days out in the desert and also thinking it would be as good a time as any to fill a couple extra pouches of water.

“Your father and I are going to bed, don’t take too long, but try and relax.” My mother smiled, giving me a kiss on the forehead and then going into their bedroom.

My father ruffled my hair slightly and clasped my shoulder. “Buck up, hon, everything is going to work out, you’ll see. F.E.A.R. works in mysterious ways.” He smiled and followed my mother to their bedroom.

I went to my room and pulled my night dress out, and grabbed some other toiletries, then, after locking the door, I grabbed a couple extra water containers, and slipped them into my pocket before making my way to the bathroom.

I was basically at twice the risk than I would've been had I left yesterday. I wanted to go today because the broadcast usually disrupted the patrols slightly, and I could use that to my advantage, but with these new rules, I was sure there would be extra guards out today. Whoever the hell made this happen had just incurred my wrath.

I set my night gown down on the edge of the sink and ran a bath for myself. My parents bedroom was right across from the bathroom and I could hear them on the phone, telling F.E.A.R. they'd asked me to take a bath to calm me down, because I was afraid for the guards. I didn't hear them coming to stop me, so I figured they got an okay, and I started running the water.

"Honey." I heard my mother say through the door.

"Yes, mother?"

"F.E.A.R. said not to take longer than thirty minutes, alright?"

"Okay, mother, thank you."

"You're welcome, baby. Everything will be okay, you'll see."

"I know it will, Mom, F.E.A.R. knows best after all, but the rebels..."

"Don't worry about them honey, they'll be alright, the guards are trained extensively."

"I know Mom, good night."

"Good night, Ashley."

I heard the bedroom door close and I filled the packets with the cool water running from the tap before warming it up, but only slightly. I pinned my hair up, knowing that I'd have to wash peroxide off it soon, and figuring it would be better to just wash it once.

I snuck quietly out of the bathroom under the cover of the sound of water filling the tub, and grabbed the peroxide and scissors. figuring I could do it while I was soaking.

Suddenly I was engulfed by a feeling that I hadn't experienced in three years, the familiar feeling of being engulfed by warmth and kindness.

The Prophet...

As soon as it was there it was gone, and I shook my head out, certain I had imagined it, because The Prophet was dead, but there was a flutter of hope in my heart, maybe, just maybe, he was alive.

Notes

So, this is officially going to be an Andy Biersack Love Story, even though originally it was going to be an OFC/OMC I ended up not doing that.
Also, I have the entire plot now planed around the album, so that's great. :) I was proud of myself for that. I did it while I was waiting for a stupid dentist to mess with my teeth -_-

Anyway, updates will become more regular now that I've got a plan, so for my two subscribers, that's goo news, and anyone else who wants to subscribe now, this would also be good news for you. :)
My goal is to have one unedited chapter up every two days max, but maybe everyday, we'll see how it goes.

Ciao ♥
Ashtin