Love And Other Drugs

Luxe felt like she couldn’t breathe. The wind was drifting around them softly and her blonde hair was flowing around her head like a pair of wings. Luxe sucked in a breath as she looked towards Andy and noticed that a single strand of his black hair and a single strand of her light blonde were tangled together.

Was that how they were? Fighting some great wind, but no matter what they seemed to become entangled together? She had been mad at him-furious-but Luxe found her anger dying as she sat there. So many emotions went through her body in that moment that Luxe was having a hard time sifting through them all.

She had been angry-so angry that she had downed half a bottle of Jack, four Valium, two uppers and done two lines of Coke. Why? Why had she done that? Luxe felt so stupid in that moment-she had let herself get to a point where she never wanted to be. She had turned in to a person who relied on drugs and alcohol to help her cope with her feelings and problems. She was pathetic and she had become the one person that she never, ever, wanted to be.

But now Luxe had a different problem-Andy’s feelings for her.

Those eyes-blue and haunting as he looked at her-were giving her the chills and Luxe wasn’t sure what she should say. How did she feel about Andy? She had never been in love before, not truly, but as Luxe looked at Andy, really looked at him, she found that her heart began to speed up. Everything in her body seemed to tingle and her brain began to work on over drive.

Every moment with Andy the past few months had been amazing and special, but what would come of it in the future? Sure they were touring together now, but neither of them knew where they would be a year from now. Luxe and the girls could be touring Japan, while Andy and the guys could be on another US tour. That was a lot of distance and Luxe didn’t know what would happen with that much space.

But Luxe couldn’t deny her feelings-she couldn’t deny the love she felt in her heart for the man sitting beside her. They were both wrapped under a blanket, but even with the blanket and Andy’s arm wrapped around her shoulders, Luxe felt herself shiver. She loved Andy-she knew it in her brain, but now Luxe needed to tell that to Andy out loud.

Slowly she looked towards him and smiled as she realized that he had been staring at her. Their hair was still tangled together and as Luxe moved to untangle their strands, a laugh in her throat, Andy reached out and grabbed for her hand instead. He brought it to his lips, kissing the skin softly before smiling at her.


“Lots of things pinging around in that brain of yours?” He was smiling at her, but it was not the usual smirk that he had. This smile was filled with nerves, his blue eyes fearful as he looked at her and Luxe only smiled.

“Some things…I think the high is starting to wear off.” She said, clearing her throat and Andy avoided her gaze. She felt ashamed for being in this position-she felt ashamed that Andy had to see her in this stupid vulnerable place.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asked her, his tone guarded and Luxe knew why. He was worried about her, of course, but he was also worried that she was going to lash out at him. He could see her eyes were beginning to get back to normal and her speech seemed to be less slurred.

“I-um-no. I’m not really okay.” She said and Andy remained silent as he pulled her closer and kissed the side of her head. He hated seeing her like this and he was worried that her recreational fun was beginning to turn in to a serious habit.

“Do you want me to go get someone?” Andy asked and Luxe only smiled at him. He had just confessed his love for her and instead of pushing her for an answer he was making sure she wasn’t going to slip off the roof of the bus or anything.

“No, I’ll be okay right now…it’s just tomorrow I’m scared about.” She admitted and Andy just looked at her. He knew that Luxe was getting in deep with the drugs and the pills, but he could see it in her grey eyes that Luxe was scared of herself and what she was capable of.

“Do you want to stay with me tonight?” Andy asked, smiling and that in turn made Luxe smile right back at him.

“You mean sleep across from you in another bunk? You really think that’s going to help?” She asked with a raised eyebrow and Andy only smirked at her in return and placed a hand against her cheek.

“No-no I mean stay with me…in my bunk tonight.” He said that last part softly, but Luxe had still been able to hear him clearly.


Andy felt like his heart was going to explode as he waited for her answer and as he locked eyes with Luxe, Andy knew that she was going to say yes. They had been doing a dance these past few weeks and Andy had seriously thought he had stepped on Luxe’s foot with his interview earlier in the day. He had never meant for it to seem or sound like he thought he was better than her-infact he probably didn’t deserve her, but Andy had to try.

Luxe was one of the most amazing and kind people he had ever met and she was someone who he couldn’t imagine not having in his life.

Her smile lit up the room whenever she was around, her grey eyes filled with life and laughter, but Andy could see, even now, that that life was dimming. Why was she so attracted to the drugs? He had been there before-when he and the guys first started out on the scene, Andy had been a party animal to end all party animals and so he knew how fun it could be.

But his family didn’t have a history of addiction problems like Luxe’s did and Andy was worried that that family history was going to destroy her. As they both sat there, her head now resting on his shoulder and his arm was wrapped around her tightly, Andy knew that telling Luxe he loved her had been the right thing.


“Andy?” Her voice was so tiny that he could barely hear it, but he turned his head to face her none the less.

“Yes?” He asked and noticed that there were tears in her light eyes. What had happened? Had he hurt her somehow?

“I-I love you.” She said quickly and Andy felt taken back. He had admitted his own feelings but he hadn’t been sure of how Luxe felt. She kept her feelings to herself most of the time-guarded them like a forbidden temple.

“Y-you do? Are you sure?” They both laughed at this and Luxe only smiled at him through her long eyelashes. She was getting tired and now she was looking forward to going to sleep…in Andy’s arms.

“Very. I didn’t realize it before because I’ve never truly loved someone, but looking at you now I just know. I love you Andy…so much.” There were tears in her eyes and Andy knew there were probably some in his own, but that didn’t matter.

“So what do we do now?” Andy asked and Luxe only smiled as she leaned in and did something that neither one of them was expecting.


Their heads tilted as their lips met and neither one of them expected the fireworks to go off like they did. His lips caressed her own and Luxe felt like everything in her body was on fire. She had never felt this way before and she didn’t know what to make of it. Here they were sitting on the top of her tour bus, wrapped in a blanket together and doing something that neither one of them ever thought was going to happen.

There was a song playing in the background on the small radio Andy had grabbed and as her lips were captured with his once again, Luxe couldn’t help but listen to the lyrics.

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

Was this fate? The lyrics to this song seemed to perfectly capture what the two of them were feeling right now and as Luxe pulled away from Andy she smiled. His eyes were still closed, but as she watched him and saw his blue eyes slowly open, Luxe felt her heart swell. She should have known the second they had met, but her head kept her from seeing the truth, but Luxe knew it now…they had been meant to fall in love with one another.


“That was…”

“Perfect.” He finished for her and they both shared a smile before pressing their lips together once more, only this time in a soft kiss.

“So, um, did you want to stay up here for a little bit longer? Or head back down to my bus?” Andy asked as they broke apart and Luxe thought about it for a moment. She could stay up here all night-it was so peaceful and quiet, but there was no telling how much longer that was going to last. The girls had been packing up their things in the dressing room and soon enough they would come out to get on to the bus.

“We can head back. My stomach is starting to hurt and I think I need to lay down for a bit.” Luxe said and Andy looked concerned. He knew Luxe needed help, he just didn’t know how to go about getting her that help that she desperately needed.

“Okay. Let me know if you need me to get Jon to get you anything…” He said softly as he reached over, shut off the radio and then they both began to move around. They would have to climb back through her bus and then they would have to get on to his bus before anyone came back-it would lead to too many questions.

“I’ll be okay.” She said softly before she started to climb down into the interior of the bus. Andy stayed silent as he followed her, unsure of what he should say. He was worried about Luxe, he would probably always be worried about her.

“Will you?” He asked as they both got inside the bus and began to walk towards the front. His hand was holding hers tightly and Luxe only sighed as she stopped by her bunk on their way to the front and grabbed for her sleep shirt.

“I think so. As long as I have you by my side.” She said as she stood on her tip toes and placed a soft kiss against the skin of his neck. Andy shivered as they stood in the doorway of her bus and then he moved forward, following her in to the night.

“Okay…as long as you’re okay.” He said. He wanted to comfort her, but by the sound of his voice and the quiver that laced his words, Andy was trying to comfort himself more than he was Luxe.


They both walked off, hand in hand towards his bus and towards their future, but they both knew that there was something wrong. Luxe had a problem and it was just beginning to blossom, but it was there all the same and nothing was going to make it go away. Time seemed to fly by and soon enough the two of them were curled up together in his bunk, her tiny blonde head resting on his chest and she was fast asleep and mumbling about something while she slumbered.
Andy would lay there for atleast another hour, awake and listening as the guys all got on to the bus and headed to their own bunks to sleep.

As Andy held Luxe while she slept and right before he fell in to his own sleep, he knew…
Luxe was not going to be okay and he was powerless to do anything about it.

Notes

And there it is people-the moment you've all been-mostly-patiently waiting for. Hope you enjoyed and don't forget to...

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