Love And Other Drugs

Luxe's face was plastered all over the walls-magazine clippings, professional shots and it looked like there were even some personal photos of the singer pre-Doll days.

What was this?

Suddenly Andy realized that there was music playing softly from an old jukebox in the corner-it sounded like a Doll's song. Slowly he rose-neither of the people behind the counter had moved as their eyes stayed plastered to the television in the corner.

Andy's long fingers pressed against the dusty glass of the box and his eyes welled with tears as he looked over the song choices. There were over fifty songs options on this ancient looking jukebox and almost every single one was a Dolls song. Had he stepped in to some sort of Hollywood Dolls themed diner? No, no that wasn't it and finally it all seemed to click in to place.

Luxe had come from a small town, worked in a diner and that had actually been where Alex had discovered her. The town name now slapped him in the face-Cornerstown...no wonder it had sounded familiar to him.


"Excuse me..." Andy said as he turned away from the jukebox and faced the two people at the counter. The woman finally peeled her eyes away from the television and Andy noticed that they were slightly red rimmed.

That's when he heard the voice on the television say something about Lucinda Abernathy and Andy's attention tuned in to the program as well.


"It is a sad day for rock fans as one of the best female rock stars was laid to rest late this afternoon in her home state of North Carolina. Lucinda-Luxe-Abernathy, lead singer for the Hollywood Dolls, was found dead in her home earlier in the week by her long time boyfriend Andy Biersack, of Black Veil Brides fame." Andy face was then plastered on the television and a look of sheer recognition lit up the older woman's face as she looked at him.

"Luxe had a long history with drug abuse and while she had been sober for more than a year before her passing, medical officials do believe that her past drug abuse contributed to the aneurysm that killed her. A toxicology screen was done on the singer and came back negative. Weak veins, caused by severe Heroin usage, caused a blood clot to form, which then slowly traveled up towards the brain until finally it stayed there and wreaked the havoc that killed off one of this centuries best musicians. Stay tuned as we will be airing footage of the funeral..." Andy tuned out after that...he didn't need to hear anymore.


Drugs had killed Lucinda in the end.

She had been sober-she had been doing so well-but none of it mattered. He had been worried about her of course and Lucinda had gone to the doctor, but they had chalked her headaches and overall not feeling well to the stress of starting a tour. Andy should of known better. He should of done something...he should of saved her.

Andy blamed himself and while everyone around him kept telling him that there would of been nothing he could of done, Andy knew that wasn't true. If had never of left her there-storming out as she screamed at him-then he would of been with Lucinda when she had blacked out. He could of called 911 early and maybe, just maybe, she could of been saved. Even doctors told him as he cried early the next morning in the lobby of the morgue, that there would of been no saving Lucinda, but Andy knew in his heart of hearts that this was his fault.


"What can I get you sugar?" A voice asked him and Andy realized that he had somehow made his way back to his seat and had been sitting there with his head in his hands.

The woman standing over him was older, probably in her sixties, and had graying hair that was pulled back in to bun, but there were some flyaways that seemed to frame in face in a crazy fashion. She had on an old uniform, red and white checked and her apron probably needed to be bleached several times and even then it still wouldn't be white. Had this been what Lucinda had worn when she had worked here? Andy looked at the nametag on the woman's chest-Marge.

"I-uh-coffee?" He said and she only nodded to him as she turned and walked over towards the counter. There was a coffee pot brewing away and even though Andy wasn't a huge fan of the stuff, he needed something to do with his hands.

"You from out of town?" Marge was back, a cup in one hand-which she sat down-and a full pot in the other. Andy watched as the black liquid ran a river in to the cream colored cup before him as he mulled over the question.

"Y-yeah. I was here for a funeral." He said as he placed his hands on either side of the warm cup and looked up at Marge. She had kind eyes-a rough tone to her voice-but she didn't seem so bad.

"I figured. I thought you looked familiar when you walked in, but with all your wet clothes you look more like a drowned rat than a rock star." There was that southern sass that Andy missed from Lucinda and he only cracked a smile as he wove one hand through his slowly drying hair.

"I was walking around when it started to rain. Figured I'd take shelter till my friends come and get me." Andy said and then realized that he hadn't called anyone yet. Who should he call?

"Sit here as long as you'd like. Any friend of Lucinda's is welcome here..." Marge said and then a low sob escaped her lips. Andy just sat there, unsure of what he should do or say to this woman whom he had never met.

"Di-did you know Lucinda for a long time?" He asked and Marge closed her eyes, as if she was trying to remember something. Or she was just trying to keep her tears under control.

"I knew her when she was eighteen, fresh outta high school and had nowhere to go or work." Marge said as she leaned on the counter behind her. Andy only nodded.

"She told me about this place-after we started to like one another and got close enough to share secrets." Andy said and Marge only chuckled. Why was that funny?

"Yeah we always were one big secret to Lucinda." She said and there was a tone of bitterness to her words.

"I mean I don't think Lucinda wanted to keep you guys-this place-a secret. That was more on Alex...her managers part." Andy explained, but Marge didn't seem to believe him.

"She just never seemed happy here, but then again Lucinda had gone through so much. It was a real shame to see her fall down, but towards the end she seemed to pick herself back up." Marge observed and Andy only nodded.


Sipping his coffee, Andy knew that he probably should give Jake or Jinxx a call. He didn't have his phone and he hadn't seen any payphones around town. Would Marge let him use the phone? She seemed to like him, in a very southern no bullshit type of way. Andy swallowed the hot liquid in his mouth and looked up to see that Marge had her eyes glued to the television screen once again.

Andy and the rest of the group were on the screen again, walking out of the funeral home with Lucinda's coffin in their hands. He shuddered at the thought and he tried as hard as he could not to let his tears fall. Marge was shaking her head, a sadness on her face and Andy silently wondered if Lucinda had ever missed this place. They seemed to of missed her, as was evident by the fact that the entire diner was a mini Lucinda shrine.


"So you guys seem like big Dolls fans." Andy said and both Marge and the fry cook looked towards him. Marge smiled slightly and nodded her head towards the pictures on the walls.

"Lucinda may not of been proud of us, but we sure were proud of her. When that first album came out, Earl and I each bought a copy. Not my taste in music, but I was proud of her no less." Marge said and before Andy could speak, another Dolls song came on over the jukebox.


You gotta nasty little side of you that's new to me
I wish I knew the signs were on the wall for all to see
A penny for your thoughts, a dollar for a rational one
You never see the glass is anything but empty

"We went to every show any time the girls were in North Carolina-just to get a glimpse of Lucinda..." Earl finally spoke, his voice gruff but with a gentle southern drawl.

"Why didn't you reach out to her? Lucinda, I'm sure, would of loved to of had you backstage to say hi." Andy asked and Marge only shook her head.

"We were never her family, although she's probably the closest thing I'll ever have to a daughter." Marge said and Andy suddenly felt terrible. Had he known about these people-about this place-then he would of invited them to the funeral...they deserved to see Lucinda for one last time.

"I think she considered you family. Lucinda never really had a family, but she loved her friends deeply." Andy said and Marge gave him a sly smile.

"I know she loved you. We saw the two of you on your first go around together and I saw that look in her eyes when you were on stage with her. She loved you more than anyone...I know that for darn sure." Marge said and Andy only smiled and looked around.


Lucinda's grey eyes looked back at him from every wall, her sly smile teasing him in the same way it had when she had been alive. He felt sad-they had wasted so much time going back and forth between hating and loving one another and Andy knew that he had wasted a lot of time being stubborn and set in his ways. Where would they be now if the two of them had just worked through their problems, instead of running away from them?

Probably married or close to it.

Andy had always known that he wanted to marry Lucinda-a life with her had always felt right to him, but the timing always felt off. It hadn't really been the timing, it had been his stubborn resolve not to settle down or give up on his own dreams. But there really was never a threat to his dreams-just a redirection and Andy had been unwilling to see that.

So much time wasted and now all he had was a lifetime full of regrets and what ifs.
Andy sat there in that booth, Lucinda's voice calling out to him and soon his coffee cup was drained and his eyes were red with his tears. As Andy sat there, missing Lucinda more and more and wondering if the pain of losing her would ever go away, a song sounded out in to the din and his own voice made Andy smile as he listened to the song that would always connect him with the love of his life.


I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Notes

Last chapter...

Review and I'll post the epilogue<3