I sat on my bed in a my pajamas thinking about yesterday. Andrew's confession, our date. Does this mean he loves me? Can't be. Who would love me, I don't talk. I like Andrew a lot but love? I don't believe in it. I am not ready for the L word, it isn't realistic.
I was in my own little world when I heard my bedroom door creak open and a little blonde hair pop in the doorway. Kyr slowly inched herself into the door. "Can we talk now?" She asked, walking closer to me. I sat up and shrugged, she did a half smiled and sat on my bed. "Rey, can you tell me why?" she asked me right off the bat. I shook my head no. "I know I haven't been a good friend the past couple years but that was just because I was confused and worried, but I honestly care for you and want to help you." she told me. I growled and stood up from my bed. I don't need help. I grabbed my sketch pas and wrote in small letters I can't tell you. and showed it to her. She crawled over to the edge of the bed in front of me. "Why not, just tell me what happened to you those years ago." Kyr asked me.
I shook my head and wrote down, He told me not to. She looked at me confused and stood up. "Who?" she asked, I shook my head and she grabbed my arms at my side and pulled me into a hug. "Please, Rey. Remember Rey? I use to call you that cause you hated your name. It reminded you of your mother, someone who hurt you. Did someone hurt you again? Who hurt you?" She asked me, I tightened up, holding back the tears but it didn't work because they started flowing and I dropped to my knees and held the sketch pad on the floor in front of me, crying. I wrote one word on the paper and Kyr looked down, she read Jamie in my chicken scratch hand writing. "Jamie? My brother? What did he do?" She asked me, I expected her to sound mad but no she sounded caring. I wrote on the paper, I can't, he said he would hurt me and you if I told. She held me close in her arms. "What did he do?" she asked me.
I shook my head and wrote He took my innocence. before throwing the book across the room toward Kyr and running out of the room. I ran down the shaky stairs and out the door as my foster mother called for me. I ignored her and stepped on to the pavement, crying. It was cold and hard against my bare feet. I still wore my pjs and a cold breeze came. I felt my legs quiver but I just kept walking. I can't face her, ever.
I walked all the way across toward the school when I heard my name being called. I wanted to run forward but then I recognized the voice and turned to see Andrew coming toward me, now I really didn't want to be seen. I look awful and are walking around in a big tee shirt and hot pants. He caught up to me before I could make my get away and grabbed my arm. He pulled a bit but not hard, just enough to spin me around. He looked at me starting with my feet then to my goosebumps covered legs, to my batman tee shirt my ragging hair and tear stained cheeks.
"What happened?" Andrew asked me. I shook my head and just fell into his chest with no strength left. All the memories coming back, my biological mother, Jamie, the bullies at school and at home with foster kids. I cried and cried into his chest with Andrew stayed silent and just held me petting my head, in till I felt to weak and tired to stand anymore. I dropped to the ground and Andrew picked me up. I slowly drifted off, too tired to open my eyes and Andrew placed his forehead on mine and held me close to his chest, he whispered "Please talk to me soon." His sweet smell filled me and for once I wanted to talk but I was too tired. I stopped and just imagined a world of just me and Andrew, no sadness, no silence, no past. But that's not life.