Gift of Sound

A couple months later, as the holiday season approached with Thanksgiving first in the lineup, Ash sat miserably at his secluded cabin, the place that almost became his grave. He had his old bass plugged into the bass amp that he used whenever he played, something the rest of the guys didn’t know about, and was picking out the thumping riff of Unholy. He couldn’t have possibly been any more miserable during a time in which he was supposed to be thankful for the people and things around him.

Sure, he was thankful to have Andy in his life as his boyfriend, even if they hadn’t gone any further than second base as of yet. Of course he was thankful to have the guys and Sammi around as his surrogate brothers and would-be sister-in-law. He was even thankful to Andy’s mother, whom he still addressed as Miss Amy, for helping him improve his ability to sign, which allowed him to hold simple, yet lengthy, conversations with both her and Sammi. The only thing missing from his life, and the thing that made him choose Unholy as his song to take his aggression out on, were his parents and grandparents.

His paternal grandparents had died when he was just an infant, although he never knew the circumstances of their deaths. His parents, poor things, had been killed after hitting a patch of black ice while out shopping for his ninth birthday present. So none of them had really been a part of his life, and he was used to it. But his maternal grandparents, Shaun and Anne, had recently been killed by a burglar they didn’t hear.

“I was there through the ages, chained slaves to their cages, I have seen you eat your own. I’m the cycle of pain of a thousand-year-old reign. I’m suicide and salvation, the omen to nations that you worship on all fours. I’m the infection and famine that’s knockin’ at your door! That’s why you’re feelin’ so… Unholy! Oh, I was created by man. You know I’m…unholy!” Ash sang as he strummed out the bass line Gene Simmons had written so many years ago.

For once, his voice was almost as deep and gravelly as that of his boyfriend, but this was one of few songs he could do pretty well like that. No one around him knew he could sing like that, nor did they know about his guitar and bass skill, and that was how he preferred it. It kept people from teasing him or taking away his one and only salvation that he had left by wanting him to perform all the time, which could very well lessen the effect it had for pouring out his emotions. Right now, considering that he’d lost everyone but his boyfriend, he was in need of some music therapy, whether he was listening to his favorite songs, or actually playing them, had he taken the time to learn how.

“I am the incubus; I lay the egg in you, the worm that burrows through your brain. But you are the beast that calls me by my name. You send your children to war to serve bastards and whores! So now you know you created me on the day that you were born!”

“Unholy! I was created by man; yeah, I’m the Lord of the Flies. You know I’m…unholy! From the left hand of power comes the Father of Lies, yeah! Unholy!” another voice suddenly joined in.

Without missing a beat, Ash looked over to see his boyfriend leaning against the front door, a smirk plastered on his face after he finished the second chorus. He’d never heard him sing, and vice versa, so he could feel a blush staining his face as he continued. But that didn’t stop him from playing altogether, considering that this was one of their mutual favorite songs and he trusted him implicitly.

“I lay you down to sleep, your soul to keep; better cross your heart before you die. And now you know…know that you are mine! That’s why you’re feelin’ so…unholy! Unholy! Unholy! Unholy!”

The scream that tore from Andy’s throat as he trailed off the very last “unholy” of the song outdid even Gene Simmons, and that was pretty impressive. When he finished out the song, he immediately put his bass back on its stand and made sure he wasn’t gonna trip over the cord running from it to his amp before making a beeline for his boyfriend. His arms were already open for a hug, but they wrapped around him tightly as soon as he collided with the younger man’s chest. He was glad that he was leaning against the closed front door so he didn’t knock him over, and buried his face in his chest.

“Well, it looks like somebody’s happy to see me,” he chuckled. That low, sexy rumble that reverberated through his chest sent a shiver down his spine.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be happy to see you after all the shit we’ve been through since we met?” he asked, looking up at him.

“I figured you’d be up here. I didn’t count on walking in to see you rocking out and growling your heart out,” Andy chuckled. “You’re pretty good, babe. You oughta help put together a band, even if we don’t do anything but play in an occasional bar.”

“Music is my salvation. I’ve thought about forming a band with the guys, but I don’t wanna lose the only salvation I have left by overusing it,” he told him.

“I used to think the same thing. Now I know better.” He looked straight into his eyes. “Music is the one thing that retains my sanity most days, and it never gets old. Hell, it inspires me to write some of my own stuff.”

“Really? Wow, we’ve got way more in common than I ever would’ve thought,” Ash said, grinning.

“Yeah. But what instruments do the guys play? I’ve never seen them do anything but listen to music.”

“Jake and Jinxx are guitarists, but Jinxx can also play piano and violin, and CC’s a drummer.” He chuckled softly. “Sometimes the guys call him Chuppy, though I have no idea why. My personal nickname for him is Animal because I think it suits him better.”

“Like the Muppet?” his boyfriend asked curiously.

“Oh, my Godsmack! Someone gets my reference!” he squealed. “But good God, you put CC behind a drumkit, and he all but destroys the thing. That’s what made me compare him to Animal one day, and the nickname’s stuck.”

“Hey, I grew up watching The Muppets. Of course I’m gonna get the reference,” Andy told him, chuckling. “And as hyper as that boy is, I could actually see him acting like that particular Muppet, especially with a drumkit to attack.”

They broke down giggling for a few minutes before heading to the kitchen, which was, surprisingly, fully stocked. Ever since his maternal grandparents’ deaths, Ash had gotten their life insurance money, which was quite a lot, considering the amount of policies they’d bought over the years, on top of managing to get a job at the local Hot Topic. It wasn’t that hard for him to keep food in his cabin, which he’d moved into since there were too many bad memories in the house he’d pretty much grown up in. And to top that off, once he managed to sell the Victorian beauty, he’d have even more money in his bank account.

Andy sat down on one of the barstools by the counter as he poured them drinks and offered to start dinner, considering that it’d gotten pretty late without his realizing it. The only times he left the cabin anymore were for school, to run errands, such as grocery shopping, work, or to deal with the Realtor about his grandparents’ house. He didn’t get very many hours at work, so that was a rare occurrance for him.

With a smile, his boyfriend jumped up and pitched in a couple hands to help him out, especially once he realized that his hand and wrist must be giving him some trouble after playing for as long as he had. Besides, his own mother’d taught him a few things in the kitchen, despite being a deaf-mute, and it was starting to pay off. They finished cooking their dinner relatively quickly, considering that there were double the hands now, and settled onto the couch to watch TV and talk while they ate.

“You wanna just spend the night here?” he asked when he yawned as they washed the dishes afterward.

“I’d love to, babe, but you know I don’t like leaving Mama alone,” Andy answered softly. “I can’t help but worry about her…”

“I know that. I was just thinking of your safety,” he told him. “I may not have heard it because of my playing earlier, but I know you rode your bike; you never go anywhere without it if you don’t have to.”

“I appreciate your concern, Ashes.” He smiled at him. “It’s one of the reasons I love you.”

“Just one?” Ash asked, chuckling.

“Well, regardless of what others say, you’re absolutely beautiful, and you have an inner strength that a lot of people don’t,” he started. “On top of that, even when you’re going through a lot yourself, you still take time to make sure your friends are doing all right, too. Aside from myself, you’re one of the most selfless people I know, and it makes me love you more and more every day.”

“You have such a way with words, Andy,” he giggled, blushing furiously.

“What can I say? I’m just…magickal,” he agreed, a grin splitting his face.

“Well, if you really wanna get home to Miss Amy, how ’bout I just pack a bag and spend the night at your house then?” he asked. “I really don’t want this night to end, and I wanna make sure you get home safely, too.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Andy agreed. “It’s not like you have anyone telling you that you can’t.”

Those words brought back memories of the times he’d asked his grandparents if one or all of the guys could spend the night or weekend. He missed them with every fiber of his being, especially since his grandmother just had a way of calming him down that no one but his boyfriend could. He sorely hoped and prayed that the bastard who’d murdered them in cold blood, in the dead of night, would be given the death penalty and put to death in just as horrible a manner as he’d inflicted upon them.

“I’m so sorry, Ashes,” he said, immediately wrapping his arms around him. “I wasn’t thinking when I said that.”

“It’s okay, Andy,” Ash swore. “I’m just wishing that their murderer gets the death penalty and put to death in just as horrible a manner as they died. More than I miss them, actually.”

“Who knew such a beauty could have such violent thoughts?” he chuckled softly.

“Hey, drastic times call for drastic measures,” he answered. “He broke in and killed an innocent elderly couple in cold blood, in the dead of night, just because he wanted a couple hundred bucks for drugs. Why shouldn’t I have violent thoughts in regards to that selfish asshole?”

“I guess that’s true enough. I’m just not used to you having a violent side,” Andy told him with a rueful smile. “I’d be the same way, were it my mother.”

Shortly thereafter, Ash had gone to the master bedroom, which held many memories of times he’d tried to kill himself, especially the night Andy’d saved his life, to pack his overnight bag. He sorted through all of his clothes, knowing that he had to have pajamas for that night and clothes for school tomorrow. Since he already knew about his boyfriend’s Batman obsession and had shared his own Hello Kitty obsession, he wasn’t embarrassed in the least to wear such pajamas around him. That thought brought a smile to his face as he threw his hairbrush, makeup, and hygiene gear into the bag on top of it.

Once he was ready to go, he threw the strap over his shoulder the way he did his bass strap and grabbed his bookbag from the floor by his bed. The second he got to the living room, his boyfriend immediately took his overnight bag, refusing to let him carry too much, even though he’d long since regained his strength. He smiled at him as he grabbed his keys and turned off the lights, then locked the door behind them.

They headed down to their bikes, Andy opening his saddlebag and grabbing bungee cords out of it. Since he didn’t have anything on his spare helmet rack, he balanced the bag on it and strapped it down tightly, tugging on the cords to make sure they weren’t going to come loose while they were riding down the rode. Ash gently settled his bookbag in his saddlebag, making sure the weight of it and the textbooks he had was evenly distributed between the saddlebags so it wouldn’t throw him off balance.

He straddled his bike, watching as the love of his life straddled his and started strapping on his helmet while he did the same. He couldn’t help but think how sexy his long hair looked as it peeked out from under the bot-tom of his helmet, knowing that his own probably looked like a hot mess, and that it was only gonna look worse by the time they got to his house. Ash shook his head slightly as he got his helmet strapped on, then slid on his night-vision goggles to keep his eyes from drying out. Andy looked back at him to make sure he was ready, to which he answered with a nod, and they both grabbed their clutches and twisted the throttles as they hit the ignition buttons on their handlebars.

“Let’s head out! Mama’ll be waiting, but won’t mind you spending the night!” his boyfriend yelled over the purr of their bikes.

“Sounds like a plan to me, baby!” he answered, his voice raised as well.

With a nod, he gripped his clutch again and lifted his left boot to put his Heritage Softail in gear before taking off.

He also gripped his clutch and lifted his left boot, making sure to pay attention as he put his Dark Custom Cross Bones in gear so he didn’t try to take off in the wrong gear. He followed his boyfriend back down his driveway, which was a good half-mile long, if not longer. Neither of them tried upshifting into second gear, as the old pavement was in too much of a state of disrepair to try going very fast on it.

Once he had plenty of money in his bank account, he’d already planned on having the old pavement ripped out and replaced. He remembered how his dad had gotten the gravel driveway paved in the first place because it was too dangerous to ride a motorcycle on gravel, and considering that he always came up here on his own bike, he didn’t want to get hurt in a place that it would be hard to find him. Especially since it was during the era before Internet and cell phones, which would’ve meant someone would’ve had to be intentionally looking for him in order to find him.

About half an hour later, they made the turn down into Andy’s neighborhood, the very same one he’d lived in until his grandparents’ deaths. Once again, they rode along in second gear, tops, finally downshifting into first when they reached the road his boyfriend’s house was on. Even though he lived near the beginning of it, it ended with a cul-de-sac, so there was no need to go very fast on it. A few moments more and they pulled into his driveway, then further up into the garage.

“All right, let’s get your stuff, then head inside,” he said with a yawn, his already deep voice even deeper.

“Sounds like a plan to me, baby,” Ash agreed, repeating his words from earlier. “It looks like you’re getting too tired for your own good.”

“I am. It’s been a long day,” he told him, hanging his helmet on his handlebar.

“Now imagine how I feel. Having to deal with school, the occasional day of work, helping the cops find evidence against my grandparents’ murderer, and dealing with the Realtor to sell their old house since I refuse to live there anymore,” he said. “I just act like I’m not stressed around everyone else because I don’t wanna answer their questions.”

“Well, the important part in all of that is at least you know you can come talk to me,” Andy chuckled, grinning. “And that’s one thing I’m glad to know.”

“What’s another thing?” he asked as they walked through the door that connected the garage to the kitchen.

“That you know I love you, and you love me in return,” he answered, wrapping his arms around him. He leaned in to kiss him gently, then stepped back to stomp on the floor three times.

Moments later, they heard soft footsteps as Miss Amy came down the hall from her bedroom, looking like she’d been getting ready for bed herself. Her face lit up in a bright smile as she ran over and hugged her son, then stepped back so she could sign to both of them. He couldn’t help but wonder just how hard life must be for her since she was a deaf-mute, but at least she could communicate.

I’m glad you made it home safely, Andy, she said, grinning at him. And it’s nice to see you again, too, Ashley.

Likewise, Miss Amy, he answered, his ability to sign having improved over the past couple months.

“You think we should tell her about our relationship?” Andy murmured, his face turned just enough to keep her from reading his lips.

“That’s up to you. She’s your mother, and you’re the one who wanted to hide your sexuality,” Ash answered honestly.

Mama, I have something I wanna tell you, his boyfriend signed.

What’s that, son? she asked, a confused expression on her face.

You remember how I told you a couple years ago that I like guys instead of girls, right? he countered, worried about her reaction.

Yeah. And I told you that I don’t care if you’re straight, bi, or gay; you’re my son, and I’ll always love you, Miss Amy answered.

Well, I found out that Ashley is, too. In fact, we’ve been dating for a couple months now.

Really? Well, I’m happy for you, son. You needed someone special, and he seemed like he did, too.

Andy looked at him with a grin on his face and translated what he hadn’t caught since he wasn’t as advanced at signing as they were.

“So she doesn’t care that we’re gay and in a relationship with one another?” he asked, sighing.

“Nope. She’s just glad we’re happy together, and that’s all that matters,” he answered, a huge grin splitting his face.

I think I’m gonna head on to bed, guys. It’s been a long day, and I’m tired, his mother signed, unable to hold back a yawn.

Good night, Mama. We’ll probably be off to bed soon ourselves, Andy responded, then kissed her cheek.

Good night, Miss Amy, Ash signed, also leaning down to kiss her cheek.

They watched as she trudged down the hall to the master bedroom, the door closing gently behind her as she headed off to bed for the night. Now that they were alone, they could get away with almost anything they wanted to, especially since they didn’t really have to worry about keeping volume levels down like they would with normal parents.

However, the worst they were going to get away with tonight was staying up a bit longer so they could shower and get ready for bed. Both young men were too tired to do much else, especially since they had to get up for school the next morning. Their shower was longer than most times because they decided they wanted to shower together, which led to them having a bit of dirty fun before they finished up and headed off to bed. Since they were both virgins in that respect and weren’t sure they wanted to go that far quite yet, they settled for blowing each other off, which used up the last of their energy reserves.

Back in Andy’s room, he turned down the covers of his bed while Ash stood in front of the mirror, brushing his hair to avoid it being a rat’s nest the next morning. When he turned around, he saw his boyfriend already in bed, one arm thrown above his head while the other rested across his belly, the covers pulled up to his skinny waist. With a smile he joined him, resting his head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around him, and after sharing one last good-night kiss, they drifted off into a deep, peaceful slumber.

Notes