Living on Love

The next morning, Ash was up at the crack of dawn with a roiling stomach again. He hated this feeling, but if he really was pregnant, as the pregnancy test from the previous afternoon said, it was something that couldn’t really be helped. By the time he was able to rise from his knees to rinse his mouth out and brush his teeth, his lover’d woken up and come to check on him, so he was also on his knees.

He considered going back to bed for a bit, considering that his appointment wasn’t until ten, despite it being a Saturday morning, but decided against it. As slow and sluggish as he felt, it would take nearly till then for him to get ready to go, on top of getting Legacy ready unless Andy did so himself. And that wasn’t including the possibility of finding something light to eat for breakfast, if he thought his stomach could handle it this morning. Ash sighed softly as he contemplated even bothering to find something for breakfast this morning, knowing that while he might be able to handle it now, things might not stay that way for long.

Concerned about him and their possible baby’s health, his lover talked him into a small bagel as Jinxx’d told him he’d eaten the morning he went into labor. He knew it wasn’t much, and that he could very well lose it not long afterward, but it was better than nothing. Sighing again, he parked his rear on the couch in the living room with Legacy, who was still sleepy from the early hour, and allowed him to scrounge up the food for him. It was certainly a nice change from the last time, for sure.

“Here ya go, sweetheart,” Andy said, kissing his temple as he handed him the small plate.

“Thanks, my love,” the bassist answered, smiling at the loving gesture.

“You wanna keep Legacy with you while I get dressed since she looks so comfortable?” he asked.

“Sure. She’s not bothering me right now,” he answered, nodding.

“All right. I’ll be back in a few minutes,” the frontman agreed, turning to leave the den.

“Can you grab me a glass of ginger ale real quick, though?” Ash asked, not wanting to move any more than necessary.

Nodding, Andy headed for the kitchen to get what he’d requested and bring it to him before he headed to their bedroom. He sighed again as he picked up one half of the bagel, which didn’t have nearly as much cream cheese as he liked to avoid making him sick, and took his first bite. To be honest, he really didn’t want to eat anything right now, but that decision was out of his hands. He didn’t want to neglect any child he might be carrying, no matter how miserable he felt, or he would’ve fought having breakfast harder.

Moments later, his lover returned with the requested glass of ginger ale, kissing his temple again as he handed it to him. Ash thanked him once again as he took it, making sure to set it on the end table so it was out of the way and their daughter didn’t knock it over if she moved. At the thought of Legacy, he looked down at where she was cuddled against his side, smiling when he realized she’d fallen back to sleep.

By the time he finished his bagel, Andy was dressed and ready to go. While he woke their baby girl up so she could be put in her carrier, the younger man took his dirty dishes to the kitchen to be put in the sink until the dishwasher was loaded after they returned. With a whine of displeasure at being woken up again, the baby girl snuggled further into Ash, making him chuckle as he fought her sleepy-headedness. She’d always liked sleeping till around nine, and watching her fight waking up was cute, as opposed to watching her fight going to sleep in the first place.

“Our little Princess ready to go?” his lover asked as he came back, the diaper bag slung over his shoulder.

“She’s fighting staying awake, but she should be fine,” he answered, trying to scoot forward.

“I’ll get her in her carrier,” Andy said, gently lifting her up off the couch. “You need a hand up?”

“Nah, I’m fine,” the bassist answered, shaking his head. He scooted forward to the edge of the couch, then slowly hoisted himself to his feet.

“All right. Legacy’s in her carrier and ready to go,” his lover told him. “Let’s get you two settled, then I’ll come back and lock up.”

“Sounds like a plan, my love,” Ash agreed.

Chuckling, the young frontman carried their daughter’s carrier down to the car, when he got it secured in its base before getting his sweetheart settled in the front seat. Once the bassist was settled, his seat belt wrapped around him loosely to avoid upsetting his stomach, Andy ran back up to the front door to make sure it was locked. That task done, he ran back to his car and hopped into the driver’s seat, stomping the clutch and brake as he turned the key with one hand and closed the door with the other.

The ride to Rebecca’s office was spent mostly in silence, wondering just what they were going to find out today and trying not to wake Legacy again. Both men were somewhat torn over the possibility of another pregnancy, especially this soon after their daughter’s birth. On the one hand, they hoped Ash really was pregnant again because they both loved kids and wouldn’t mind having more together, but on the other, they hoped he wasn’t since their lives were already so busy and they wanted to wait a bit longer. However, if he was pregnant again already, they wouldn’t abort unless it was to save his life and would welcome the baby with open arms.

Upon arriving at the OB/GYN’s office, the bassist had to take a moment to settle his stomach once again before he could get out of the car, leaving his boyfriend to stretch his tall, lanky frame across the back seat to get their daughter’s carrier. The moment his stomach was settled again, he got out and raised the seat he was sitting in so he could grab her diaper bag, then made sure the car was locked before closing the door.

In the building, they found that Rebecca was the only one there, considering that it was a Saturday morning and the office was technically supposed to be closed. She’d agreed to this appointment for several reasons: one, she was good friends with Ash, and it usually wasn’t hard for him to talk her into anything. Two, he was a man, and technically not supposed to have the ability to carry children; she knew a pregnancy he knew nothing about could mean his death. And three, considering that he’d been hospitalized in Denmark the previous summer for a migraine so bad it made him bleed out of his ear while pregnant with Legacy, she wanted to find out as much as he did so that didn’t happen again.

“Good morning, guys,” she greeted them, a smile on her face.

“Morning, Becki,” Ash answered, having taken to calling her by her nickname.

“How’s Legacy doing?” Rebecca asked, glancing at the carrier his boyfriend held.

“She’s been doing great. Hitting every milestone she should far earlier than predicted,” he answered, grinning with pride.

“That’s great to hear. And you are…?” she asked, looking up at Andy.

“His boyfriend and Legacy’s…other father, Andy,” the frontman answered, extending his hand.

“It’s great to meet you,” the OB/GYN told him, accepting the handshake. “I kinda wish I’d gotten to meet you the last time around.”

“Yeah, well, we had some issues we had to work through,” he said sheepishly. “Most of them were because of my youthful ignorance and stupidity, but hey, that’s just life.”

“Agreed. C’mon with me, and we’ll get this ball rolling,” she told them, gesturing for them to follow her.

“Sounds good,” Ash agreed, nodding.

The older man leaned into his lover slightly when he wrapped his arm around his shoulders, sighing softly as he splayed a hand across his belly. He’d forgotten what a bitch morning sickness was once it disappeared during his first pregnancy, and if he’d known he’d get it just as bad if he got pregnant again, he wouldn’t have been looking forward to creating new life again.

Outside the exam room Rebecca led them to, she had him take off his boots and step on the scale, already knowing that since he was a fully-grown man, his height wasn’t likely to change anytime soon. He was actually surprised to see that he was a good five pounds lighter than he felt, given that he felt like he hadn’t lost nearly as much of the weight he’d gained during his first pregnancy as he should’ve. Considering that he weighed in at one-forty-six, he wasn’t too concerned about it, and it appeared that his OB/GYN wasn’t either, so he didn’t let it bother him.

After getting his weight, she led them into the exam room and had him hop up on the exam table in the corner. Really the only things she had to get before what he considered the physical exam were his temperature and blood pressure, and that’s what she did. She put a protective cover on the probe of the thermometer, which she placed under his tongue, and while they were waiting for the reading, she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his bicep, as she always did.

While he was going through this, Andy sat in a spare chair next to the exam table, Legacy’s carrier in the floor at his feet as she continued to sleep. Since she wasn’t moving very much and was pretty quiet, he lifted the blanket hanging over the visor to check on her, sighing softly when he realized she was fine and just sleeping peacefully. That brought a smile to Ash’s face as well, which was made bigger when Rebecca told him that his blood pressure was reading in at a fairly normal one-twenty-two over sixty-eight. Granted, if he really was pregnant, that reading would go up, especially as his blood volume increased, from his body having to live for two, but they both knew that was bound to happen as time passed.

“So when did you start suspecting you might be pregnant again?” the OB/GYN asked, gesturing for him to take his shirt off.

“Yesterday morning,” he answered, doing as she asked. “I woke up sick and Andy ran to the store for anything ginger. One of the workers that helped him out suggested getting a pregnancy test while he was there because of her own past experience.”

“Oh, really? Well, that might’ve been some pretty good advice,” she told him, having him lay back.

“I have to agree. I mean, it was only about two hours later, after thinking long and hard about everything, that I asked him to go get me one,” Ash said, wincing as she pressed on his chest.

“Still tender, I take it?” Rebecca asked.

“Yeah. I mean, even if I’m not pregnant, it’s gonna be from nursing Legacy,” he answered, nodding.

“He usually won’t let me touch his chest these days,” Andy piped up, giving his sweetheart a sympathetic glance.

“Yeah, that’s the hormones for ya,” she chuckled.

“Try not to press down on my stomach too hard,” the bassist requested. “Getting it settled has been a bitch since yesterday.”

“I wouldn’t have to press down on that part of your abdomen until later in pregnancy,” she told him. “Probably closer to the time when the morning sickness would go away.”

“I still don’t feel like losing anymore of my guts,” he grumbled.

“I don’t blame you, Ashley.” Chuckling softly, she continued with the physical exam, pressing down on his lower belly as she’d done to his chest. “Hmm…seems like you might be pregnant, like you thought. How about we get an ultrasound real quick just to be sure?”

“Sounds like a plan to me, Becki,” Ash agreed, nodding.

“Go ahead and get your jeans off while I go grab the scanner,” Rebecca told him as she left the exam room.

“Need some help, sweetheart?” Andy asked, looking like he was ready to get up.

“Nah, I’ve got it,” he answered, shaking his head. He wanted to be as independent as he possibly could for as long as he could.

Shrugging, he still sat on the edge of the chair so that if he lost his balance, he could jump up to catch him before he fell and hurt himself. The bassist let a small smile grace his lips at knowing that, although a bit overdue, as far as he was concerned, Andy truly loved and cared about him and their daughter. Such feelings and consideration might be a bit overdue, but better late than never, if he were honest.

By the time Rebecca returned with the ultrasound scanner, he’d gotten his jeans off and handed them to his lover, and was laying back on the exam table in his boxers. Thankfully, his stomach was still fairly settled, although he knew that could change at the drop of a hat. While the scanner was warming up for use, the OB/GYN had him pull the waistband of his boxers down to just above his crotch, just as she had the last time. Since they had an understanding between them now, he felt no need to crack a sarcastic joke like he had the first time she’d given him an ultrasound during his first pregnancy.

Once the scanner was warmed up and ready, she grabbed the bottle of gel that was hanging off the side, and he tried to prepare himself for what he knew was coming. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to stifle the gasp he let loose upon feeling the chill, which startled Andy and made him think she’d hurt him somehow. Chuckling, he assured his lover that he was fine, that the gel was just cold, and it was always like that. With a skeptical look on his face, the younger man crossed his arms and rested one ankle on the opposite knee as he waited.

Rebecca took the probe that’d been hanging next to the gel after replacing the bottle and used it to smear the gel around his belly, which spread the cold sensation, as well. Ash held his breath as she settled it in one spot and pressed a bit more firmly, quickly locating what she was looking for. Just like the day he’d found out he was pregnant with Legacy, there was a blackened area right where his womb was supposed to be, and in the middle of that blackened area, he could see the grainy gray-and-white blob that was his unborn child. He covered his mouth with his hand as he gasped, tears welling in his eyes as he took in the news that he was indeed carrying his lover’s child again.

“Well, I’d say that answers your questions, Ash,” the OB/GYN chuckled.

“Huh?” Andy asked, his brows furrowing in confusion.

“You see that right there?” she asked, pointing to the little blob on the screen. “That’s your next baby. Congrats, guys.”

“Really? Wow,” the younger man breathed, shock and happiness lighting up his features.

“Really, really, Andy,” Rebecca answered, grinning. “Judging by the size, I’d say he’s about four weeks along.”

“That sounds about right,” Ash agreed, grinning as well now.

“Let’s schedule your next appointment for five weeks from now, although obviously not on a Saturday morning,” she chuckled. “You should be right around nine weeks by then.”

“So there’s nothing wrong with either of us right now?” he asked, accepting the cloth she handed him to wipe the gel off his belly.

“As of right now, you’re both perfectly healthy,” the OB/GYN assured him. “Obviously, considering what happened around the same point in your last pregnancy, I want you resting as much as possible and keeping the stress to a minimum.”

“I was already planning on that,” the bassist assured her, nodding.

Andy merely cocked a brow at them curiously.

“I never explained it to you, did I?” he asked.

The younger man shook his head, looking confused.

“That migraine that I got that caused me to be hospitalized in Denmark was partially caused by my pregnancy,” Ash began. “The increase in blood volume to help with the demands being put on my body combined with laying off the caffeine to avoid hurting Legacy would’ve likely given me a migraine. But that combined with all the stress I was under from touring caused the pressure in my head to increase enough that it made me bleed out of my ear.”

“Speaking of which, I want you to lay off the caffeine this time around, as well,” Rebecca told him. “Same deal as last time. No more than two cups of coffee, or the equivalent in soda or any other caffeinated beverage, so you don’t hurt the baby.”

“I remember that, Becki,” he chuckled.

“You can damn sure bet that, after fearing I was gonna lose him last summer, I’ll likely be like a drill sergeant with the eye of a hawk now,” his lover swore. “I can’t go through that again, and not with Legacy now.”

“All right. October twenty-ninth sound good to you guys?” she asked, writing everything down in a notebook since she couldn’t access the computer system on the weekends.

“Sounds great. We have a couple shows we’ve gotta play in Anaheim and San Bernardino in November,” Andy said, nodding. “That sound good to you, sweetheart?”

“Sounds awesome. My only question is…should I drop out of those shows, and maybe the next tour to follow in January, so I’m not pushing myself too hard?” Ash asked, his question directed at his OB/GYN.

“Honestly, I’m not sure at this point,” she answered. “You seem to be doing a lot better at this stage in pregnancy than you were the last time, but only time will tell. Let’s just see how the two of you are doing at your next appointment, and we’ll go from there. I don’t wanna judge too quickly and either disappoint or scare you, especially with that appointment being so much closer to the time of those two shows.”

“Works for us,” he agreed, nodding. “Thanks again, Becki.”

“It’s not a problem, Ash,” the OB/GYN answered, giving him a quick hug. “I’ll see ya at your next appointment.”

Once the OB/GYN left and he’d gotten dressed again, he heaved a sigh of relief. Now that he knew for sure he was pregnant again, and that both he and his baby were doing perfectly well, he was relieved. He now knew that he had to take just as good of care of himself now as he had while pregnant with their daughter, lest it cost his life, their baby’s, or all deities forbid, both.

After he’d gotten dressed and collected his personal effects, Ash grabbed his lover’s free hand as they walked back out to his car, their daughter’s carrier in the opposite one. He could tell just by the loose grip he had on his hand that Andy was just as relieved to know for sure that he was pregnant, and that both of them were doing just fine. Even if he hadn’t been determined to change his ways and do his part before, he definitely was now, and that’s what he planned to do. But he could see something else lurking in the younger man’s eyes, something that he wasn’t telling him, but decided to shrug it off for the moment.

Their lives were going great at the moment, even if they would’ve preferred to wait a while longer after Legacy’s birth to have another child. Finding out he was pregnant again was likely to add to Andy’s workload, but he didn’t care, so long as the man he loved and their child made it through and came out relatively unscathed. Besides, he knew it would all be worth it in the end when they got to meet their baby and revel in its newborn beauty the way they once had their daughter.

Notes