Living on Love

Back at the house he’d moved into five months ago and had shared with his sweetheart and infant daughter ever since, Andy was just getting home from his day out with the drummer of their band, CC. The stress of being a young father and frontman of a successful band while trying to keep his hard-won relationship from going South had gotten to him, and he’d needed the day out. He’d found himself nearly losing his temper and lashing out at Ash in a physical manner several times when they started fighting, and he didn’t stand for that.

Their band stood against bullying and name-calling, but they also didn’t tolerate abuse. If he stooped so low as to start abusing the love of his life because they fought over trivial matters, he’d never forgive himself, and he needed to get away before that happened. Now that he was back home, he was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with his sweetheart and baby girl, but was surprised to find Ash’s car wasn’t in the driveway. Figuring that he’d had some errands to run and had taken Legacy with him for obvious reasons, he thought nothing of it as he unlocked and opened the front door.

However, he wasn’t expecting to find the multi-instrumentalist of their band, Jinxx, sitting in the den when he walked in looking for his boyfriend. He was taken aback when he saw his friend sitting on the couch, arms crossed over his chest, one ankle resting on the opposite knee, and a look of pure rage on his face. He’d looked at him from such a position several times before, back when Ash was still pregnant with their daughter, but never had it been combined with an expression like the one he wore now. Andy audibly gulped as he took a couple steps back, knowing that he was about to get his ass handed to him, figuratively if not literally. Things never ended well when the quiet one of their group was pissed, and he knew it.

“I see you’re finally home,” he said, his voice low and controlled, despite his obvious anger.

“Yeah. Last I checked, you weren’t my mother,” Andy snapped, letting his own temper get the better of him for a moment.

“I don’t have to be your mother to care about you, Ash, and Legacy,” Jinxx told him, never moving a muscle other than to blink or breathe. “In fact, that’s why I’m here.”

“Where’s Ash? And where’s Legacy, for that matter?” he asked.

“Legacy’s in good hands; there’s no need to worry about her,” the multi-instrumentalist answered smoothly. “Sammi kidnapped Ash for a while so he could unwind.”

The young frontman heaved a sigh of relief at knowing the ones he loved most were safe. “I’m just glad they’re safe.”

“Your actions say otherwise.”

“What are you talking about?” His brows knitted themselves together in confusion.

“Oh, you mean the fact that you barely help Ash, both around the house and with Legacy? How you go out partying more often than he does instead of being a responsible father? Or how about the fact that you’ve been neglecting the man you claim to love?” His friend raised a brow at him in curiosity.

“I can’t help it that Legacy prefers Ash over me. I do as much as I can around here, especially when he won’t let me help with little things, like laundry and cleaning up, because he says he likes to do those when he’s upset over something. And I don’t go out and party nearly as much as you seem to think I do,” the young frontman snapped.

“Legacy prefers him over you because you don’t spend nearly as much time with her. If you’d pay him some more attention, whether it’s when she’s in bed for the night or by getting me, Sammi, Jake, or Ella to babysit, maybe he wouldn’t be quite so upset. As for helping around the house…he wouldn’t feel the need to save cleaning up for when he’s upset if you’d do those things I just mentioned because he wouldn’t be upset,” Jinxx snapped back.

“Jinxx, there’s only so many hours in a day, and only so much I can do while I’m trying to keep the band afloat, too,” he told him.

“Excuses, excuses, Andrew.” The multi-instrumentalist finally rose from where he sat, but didn’t uncross his arms. “I told you the day Legacy was born that, to get back in my good graces, you had to make an effort. So far, other than admitting to him that you loved him, I see you making no effort. Honestly, I’m beginning to wonder if you truly love him, and if I am, you can damn sure bet he is.”

He stood there slack-jawed as his friend threw nearly every fault he possessed in his face.

“I won’t speak for him, but I do know that it’s only a matter of time before Ash breaks things off with you, kicks you out of his house, and refuses to let you have a part in his or your daughter’s lives.” He frowned at him once again. “How the future, in that respect, plays out is up to you, and only you. I can only act as a guiding light if you let me, but think twice before you keep neglecting your family if you want to keep them.”

Without another word, Jinxx uncrossed his arms and headed for the front door. The gentle click! of the door catching in the doorjamb resonated in his eardrums far louder than if he’d have slammed it hard enough to shake the house, driving his points home. Tears welled in his eyes as he collapsed on the couch, his head in his hands, as he wondered if this would truly be the end of their relationship, and if he’d ever get to see his precious daughter again.

Andy realized now that he could’ve been doing more than he had been, that his sweetheart must be even more stressed than he was, and than he let on to be. Raising a baby was hard work, even with help from the other parent or from friends, and that piled on top of housework and being creative for the band…it was no wonder why they were fighting all the time. He felt terrible at realizing that he was basically pushing the love of his life away, just like he’d done by giving his ex-girlfriend, Juliet, a second chance after he was hospitalized in Denmark the previous summer for a migraine so bad it made him bleed out of his ear.

The tears that’d welled up in his icy-blue eyes spilled over the rims and began to cascade down his cheeks, pulling his eyeliner with them, as he reached for the picture of his family on the end table at his side. It’d been taken a month ago when his mother insisted they get a family portrait made to send to her, and belied what was going on behind the scenes. On this glossy piece of paper, their faces all wore smiles that bespoke constant happiness and true love when, in reality, the only one truly happy was their baby. Looking at this picture, he could see the stress likely killing him from the inside out in Ash’s chocolate-brown eyes, how he was masking his pain and loneliness with a smile that everyone thought was genuine.

Knowing that sitting around crying wasn’t going to help matters, he sniffled and wiped his eyes before setting the framed picture of them back on the end table. Deciding that, even if nothing sexual came of it, he was going to show his sweetheart a night of love, he rose from his place on the couch. He had no idea when Sammi would bring him back, so he had to get started on the idea taking shape in his mind now before it was too late.


The moment he opened the front door of his house, the aroma of Ash’s favorite meal, which was Sammi’s meat lover’s lasagna, wafted to him and hit his nose. He’d noticed his lover’s car back in the driveway, but figured he’d have decided to hit the hay already. Smelling his favorite meal meant that he was up to something, but what, he didn’t know.

Somewhat glad that Jake and Ella had refused to let him have his baby again till tomorrow, he carried all his bags in and straight to their bedroom, not really wanting to see Andy for a bit longer. He was still beyond angered that Sammi’d had to come over and check on him, then subsequently take him out for a day without either of them, so he could unwind like he’d been needing for months now. He snorted softly at the thought that his lover was going to try wooing him in a traditional sense, then most likely think everything between them was going to be okay. Yeah, right; monkeys would fly out of his ass before that happened.

As he was putting away his things and setting the bags full of things for Legacy off to the side, a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his waist. He knew it was Andy, so rather than gasping like he’d probably expected him to do, he merely pretended he didn’t feel the arms around him and didn’t know he was there. This apparently aggravated his lover, as he subsequently pulled him upright and spun him around so they were facing each other, their lips mere inches apart.

“That’s the kinda greeting I get from the man I love?” he asked, a brow raised in curiosity.

“It is when you ignore the man you love,” Ash answered testily, crossing his arms despite their close proximity.

“Maybe I’m trying to change my ways and make up for that,” Andy told him, uncrossing his arms for him and wrapping them around his neck.

“Ha! It’s gonna take more than my favorite meal for that!” the bassist scoffed.

“Did I ever say I didn’t have more than that planned for you?” he asked. “Honestly, you have no idea what all’s going on in my mind.”

“Most of the time I feel like I don’t know what’s going on at all,” he told him.

“Well, that’s gonna change, starting tonight,” the frontman swore. “C’mon to the dining room, and I’ll prove it.”

“Uh huh. We’ll see about that,” Ash said, but still allowed him to lead him to the dining room.

Once in there, he saw a bouquet of his favorite flowers, blood-red roses and tiger lilies, sitting in a vase in the center of the table. On either side of it, a safe distance away so they didn’t set fire to the black-and-red ribbon tied around it, were two candles so deep a purple they’d have appeared black if they weren’t lit. Then there were two place settings laid out side-by-side, each plate filled with a heaping amount of the lasagna, which he knew Andy wasn’t nearly as fond of.

Although he was pleasantly surprised that he’d taken the time to cook, given that he knew Sammi hadn’t since she was with him, he didn’t let the simple gestures get to him as much as most people would’ve. He was still pissed that it’d taken him months to see what he was doing to him and even remotely begin to fix what he’d, in a way, broken.

His lover pulled out one of the chairs sitting in front of a place setting, gesturing for him to take a seat before pushing it back in for him. Before he could even pick up his fork, Andy told him to hang on for a second and disappeared into the kitchen. Sighing as he wondered what he was doing, he crossed his arms and tapped his bare foot under the table, the aroma of the lasagna making his stomach growl. Moments later, his lover returned with a bucket of ice, which had a bottle of his favorite wine, Amarone Bertani, shoved down in it in one hand, two wine glasses in the other. The fact that he’d gone out and gotten the ingredients for his favorite meal, as well as forked over quite a bit of money for the one bottle of wine, spoke volumes.

With a gasp, he covered his mouth with one hand as he set the items he carried on the table by the vase, then picked up a small remote. Moments later, Alan Jackson’s Living on Love could be heard in the background at a volume low enough to hear the lyrics and melody, but still soft enough for them to hold a conversation without yelling. These simple things that he should’ve been doing all along were even more touching since he hadn’t been, and Ash felt his heart swell with love all over again. He still wasn’t completely back in his good graces, and had quite a bit more to do to manage that, but it was a start.

“Ashley, my Outlaw and deviant, I know I haven’t been treating you right, or doing as much with Legacy and around the house as I should,” his lover began, handing him one of the wine glasses. “With everything that’s been stressing me out, I didn’t see how it was affecting you, and for that, I’m sorry. Tonight is all about you and what you want, nothing more.”

Touched and awed to the point of tears, the bassist said nothing as he accepted the toast he proposed.

“I know that I’m by no means completely within your good graces again, but all I can do is try,” Andy told him, taking a seat beside him. “From this night forth, I’m giving my all to you and our precious daughter, and to Hell with the rest of the world for a while.”

“Andy, my Batman and prophet, you’ve hurt me more times than I can count since we met,” he said softly, looking down at his as-of-yet untouched plate. “Especially since I fell in love with you. It’s gonna take quite a bit and time for me to forgive you.”

“You say that like I don’t already know it,” the frontman chuckled. “I never expected you to completely forgive me and my youthful stupidity all in one night.”

“I’m just glad you realize that,” Ash returned, chuckling as he took the first bite of his food.

“Are you kidding me?” Andy laughed, nearly spraying his wine out his nose. “I’m a realist, sweetheart. I’d have to be a special kind of stupid to think anything else.”

“Well, you’ve proven to be pretty blind here lately,” the bassist pointed out. “Stupid, a special kind or no, could’ve very well been another thing.”

Scoffing at him playfully, he returned to his food and soon enough, both their plates were clean. Before he could make a move to get up, his lover was on his feet and taking their plates to the kitchen, but he left their forks behind. Obviously he had something else planned, or he’d have taken them with him as well, so Ash just sat back and waited patiently.

When he returned, Andy was carrying two more plates, each with a piece of what he knew was the Better than Sex Cake on them. He knew that was his favorite kind of cake, although any normal chocolate cake would do since he loved the stuff, and that extra special effort warmed his heart further. Not only had the younger man gone and gotten his favorite wine and taken the time to cook his favorite entreé, but he’d made his favorite dessert, too. Unless they crawled into bed together for something other than a deep, restful slumber, he wasn’t sure this night could get much better than it already was.

After finishing their dessert, his lover took the remainder of their dirty dishes to the kitchen, where he could hear him loading them into the dishwasher. Too full to want to move for a bit, Ash stayed put as he let his food settle while he finished what he was doing, which included starting the dishwasher so it could run overnight. He sat there listening to the music that’d been playing in the background, nearly every country love song he’d ever heard and liked, as he waited for him to return.

He wasn’t expecting Andy to gently lift him into his arms, thinking he was already asleep from a long day, and a soft yelp of surprise escaped his lips as his arms wound themselves around his lover’s neck. Chuckling while apologizing for startling him since he’d thought he was asleep, the younger man made no move to put him down, but instead carried him to the master bedroom. Once in there, he laid him down on their bed as if he were a china doll he feared he’d break, then turned to head for the closet. Ash looked around the room and noticed all the candles strategically placed, knowing that a night of romance was up to him at this point. Considering that they hadn’t been very romantic as of late, he really wanted that to happen tonight. Having decided what he wanted, he pulled his shirt off, wadded it into a ball, and aimed for the hamper across the room.

Upon his return, Andy chuckled softly at seeing his sweetheart lying on their bed in just his jeans, his shirt and sports bra hanging haphazardly off the laundry hamper. He didn’t know if he was commando under his jeans or not, but from the looks of things, he suspected he’d find out shortly. Ash grinned at him as he read the slightly questioning expression on his face, then returned it with a “come hither” look as he beckoned him over with his finger. He pulled him as close as he possibly could once he crawled on the bed with him, letting a soft purr roll off his tongue as he pressed their lips together.

“Mmm, I see someone’s excited,” his lover chuckled, now lying between his spread, denim-clad thighs.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” the bassist chuckled. “It’s been a while, and I’m young.”

“I’m assuming that if I stop, my ability to piss without a catheter will be in jeopardy?” Andy asked, a grin on his kisser.

“Ya got that right, Batman,” he answered, nodding vigorously. “So will your ability to produce testosterone on your own.”

“Oooh, ouch,” he said, feigning a wince. “I can’t allow that to happen, now can I?”

“Not if you wanna continue truly being a man,” Ash chuckled.

“Well, then…hmm, what shall I do to you first?” he asked, more to himself than his sweetheart. He knew he had a penchant for being restrained as much as restraining him, and decided to incorporate bondage to a degree tonight.

“Ugh, the suspense is deadly,” he whined softly, then gasped as he latched onto his neck.

“Mmm,” the frontman hummed, gently licking and nipping the sensitive skin. “I can’t get enough of how you constantly taste like chocolate and bubble mint.”

“You always taste like cinnamon and vanilla,” he retorted, gasping when he changed sides.

“You like that, don’t you?” Andy asked, chuckling as he strung kisses up to his ear before latching onto its lobe.

“Oh, Godsmack! Yes!” his sweetheart cried, turning his head to give him better access.

“Mmm,” he moaned softly, beginning to gently grind on him as he reached over to the nightstand.

“Wh-wha—” Ash started to ask, but was cut off with a gentle kiss.

“Shhh, sweetheart. You know I’m not gonna do anything to hurt you, or that you don’t want,” he reminded him, holding up a bandana, ball gag, and cuffs.

“Oooh,” the bassist breathed, knowing exactly where this was going.

With a devious, yet sultry smirk plastered on his kisser, Andy gently locked one end of two of the pairs of cuffs they’d bought specifically for this purpose around his wrists. Moving as gently as he could, he locked the other ends around the steel bars of their headboard, which were painted to look like wood but far stronger for when he pulled against the cuffs.

Now that his wrists were locked into place, the younger man crawled down the bed to his feet and repeated the procedure so that his ankles were bound as well. When he turned back to look at his sweetheart, he noticed that his pupils were dilated from the molten lust coursing through his veins, and grinned at him as he crawled back up the bed. Ash quickly lifted his head and allowed him to blindfold him with the bandana in his hand, which me made sure was tight enough so that it wouldn’t slip off, but wouldn’t allow him to see anything, either. After he made sure he couldn’t see, he gently slipped the ball gag into his mouth, its strap around his head.

Andy sat back on his haunches to admire his handiwork, which he knew was torture to the aroused man cuffed to their bed. Since he couldn’t see and didn’t know what he was planning, the bassist tossed his head restlessly as he moaned, already fighting against his restraints a bit as he begged through body language. Deciding that he’d had enough torture, his lover began to tease every hot spot he knew about as he worked his way down to his now bare crotch.

The moment he wrapped his hand around his throbbing member, Ash drew a sharp breath in through his nose, which sufficed for a gasp since he was gagged. The frontman chuckled softly as he stroked him from base to tip a couple times, using his thumb to spread the pre-cum leaking from his slit around the swollen, purple head of his cock. He drew in another sharp breath when he wrapped his lips around him, gently suckling as he continued to stroke him, before taking more of his length. Soon enough, he was deep-throating him, and just to be a teasing ass, he swallowed a couple times, causing his throat to tighten around him. The bassist moaned like a whore behind the gag, arching his back in an attempt not to buck against him.

“You like that, sweetheart?” Andy asked after pulling his length from his mouth, still stroking him.

“Mmm hmm,” he murmured behind the gag, nodding vigorously.

“Mmm. And what about when I do this?” He deep-throated him once again, swallowing as he gently nudged a finger against his rosebud.

“Mmm, mmm!” Ash moaned, bucking against him.

“Ah, so you do,” the frontman chuckled. He let go of his throbbing member long enough to coat three of his fingers in lube, then wrapped his hand around it once again. “You’ll really like this.”

Unable to speak due to the gag, the bassist continued moaning as he deep-throated him and swallowed again while gently pushing a single finger into him.

“Mmm,” his lover hummed, the vibrations driving him insane.

“Mmm, mmm, mmm,” he moaned, his orgasm suddenly roaring up his cock and down his throat.

“Mmm, you taste so good, sweetheart,” Andy chuckled, removing his finger and crawling up the bed.

Ash continued to pant through the aftermath of his pleasure as the gag and blindfold were removed, then the cuffs unlocked so he could move.

“You wanna continue? Or are you too tired?” his lover asked, genuine concern in his icy-blue eyes.

“You stop now, and I’ll unman you,” he threatened.

“Ouch. Kitty has claws,” the frontman chuckled. “Well, roll over while I relube my fingers.”

“Mmm, purrrr,” he said, purposely rolling and drawing out the “R”.

Once his fingers were lubed up again, Andy started out with just the one as he’d done while blowing him, knowing he needed to be stretched out again since it’d been a while. His sweetheart gasped and moaned as he began to move said finger, arching his back so that his ass rose higher in the air. After a minute or so, he gently added a second finger, using them both to thrust a couple times before scissoring him. His moans grew in volume and pitch as he did so, then once again as he added a third finger.

After a couple minutes of thrusting the three fingers into him, he gently removed them so he could coat his own cock in a liberal coating of lube. Since they’d been keeping track of the bassist’s cycles, even though they hadn’t actually done anything in months, he was pretty sure they’d be fine going bareback tonight, and once he was ready, gently thrust into him.

His sweetheart moaned even louder as he entered him, laying there with his face in the pillow, panting as he gave him a moment to adjust. Moments later, he turned his head enough for him to see his face in profile and nodded, letting him know that he could move whenever he wanted. He gently pulled himself back out so that only his head was lodged in him, then thrust back in just as slowly and gently. Ash let out a soft moan, but he knew from experience that those moans wouldn’t stay soft for long. As time passed, those moans would turn raging and grow louder as his thrusts gained speed and strength, and he knew it.

“Oh, oh, oh,” the bassist moaned, his moan coming out louder and higher than the one before it.

“You like…that?” Andy panted, leaning over him a bit more.

“Uh…huh! Oh, my…Godsmack!” he cried, scrunching his eyes shut. “I-I’m g-gonna cum!”

“Then cum for me, sweetheart,” his lover growled in his ear. “Lemme hear you scream my name.”

“A-Andy! For the love of all that’s unholy!” Ash screamed, having to turn his face back into the pillow.

“Awww, yeah, sweetheart,” the frontman groaned, thrusting in as deep as he could. The clenching of his sweetheart’s muscles triggered his own orgasm.

“Th-that was…Heavenly,” the bassist moaned, panting as he collapsed into the bed.

“Mmm, I…agree,” Andy whispered, rolling off him. “Couldn’t have…asked for…a better…night.”

“Me…either.” He sighed as he snuggled up to his lover’s body, one leg thrown over his crotch and one arm laying across his belly as the hand attached to it splayed over his chest.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, sweetheart,” he said softly. “Let’s get some sleep, shall we?”

“Sounds awesome,” Ash answered, yawning. “Gnight, Batman.”

“G’night, my Outlaw. Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams to you, too.”

Releasing a soft sigh of his own, Andy wrapped his arms protectively and possessively around the man he loved as he gently nuzzled his chest. He bowed his head so he could kiss his temple, smiling serenely when he felt him smile against his shoulder as he fell asleep, the thundering of his beating heart his lullaby. With his sweetheart satisfied, if only for the moment, and sleeping soundly in his arms, their daughter well-cared for with Jake and Ella, he followed Ash into Dreamland without a fight or complaint.

Notes