Fifty Shades Of Andrew Biersack

We sat in the kitchen, enjoying some lazy Chinese take away and sharing a bottle of wine.
Andy looked admiring at me as I slurped the noodles into my mouth. His chuckled laugh startled me.
- “What?”
- “You are one of a kind.” He caresses my head like I was his little girl. “I’m glad you’re here with me.” He said seriously and he seemed so different from any side of Andrew I’ve seen before.
- “I’m very glad I’m here too.” I glared at him with a satisfied smile and leaned in for a kiss. To my surprise he turned away and I felt stupid for a second.
- “No,. I think I want some answer before we do anything more…” He whispered with a cautious smile.
More. There’s that word. The word I want more than anything with this man. But now He’s the one wanting answers? What do I have to hide from him? Nothing.
- “What do you want to know?” I put away my food and turned my attention to him, very carefully.
- “Well, uhm… how do you feel about our to-be arrangement, for starters?”
I stared insecure at him. So it’s all cards on the table tonight?
- “Uh, I don’t think I’m suited for that specific kind of needs that you have.” I mumbled sad. This was basically the truth and we both knew it, we just haven’t spoken the words before.
- “I don’t think so either. You’re not a great submissive.” He breathes with a teasing smile.
- “Are you mocking me?”
-“Yes, but in a good way.”
- “Maybe the master is getting soft.” I bite back.
- “Maybe,. Perhaps I need to be stricter with you.” He cocks his head to the right and gave me one of his fabulous rockstar-smiles.
I swallowed hard, no thanks. But at the same time my muscles clenched in attention deep inside. He studied me as I flexed my muscles.
- “Was it that bad when I spanked you?” He mumbled with a worried frown.
I blinked shocked at him. Was it really? I hurt, but I enjoyed it at the same time. It couldn’t have hurt that bad if I did.
- “No, not really.” I whispered ashamed.
- “It’s more the idea of why I’m doing it?”
- “I suppose…”
- “Huh, I see. But you’ve been doing fine so far.” He said convincing.
I never took the time to give him a smart come back. I just felt how this man was making a fair point to why I should leave. But at the same time, none of us wants to. Andrew just wants me to sign the contract. I just want to spend my everyday with this man, that doesn’t get into a relationship.

I arrived back to my small apartment to change some clothes and be with myself for a moment. Andy had been called into an emergency meeting and would be stacked with work for the upcoming days. I just hoped Mrs. Williams wouldn’t be there. I opened the window in the living room and sat down on the windowsill, looking over Los Angeles busy traffic. I jumped a little when my phone rang.
- “Hello my little sunshine!”
- “Hey mom!”
- “Is everything okay? Are things better honey?”
- “I don’t know mom. Right now I feel lonely.”
- “Why don’t you come over this weekend? Stay a couple of nights, me and Bob miss you.” Bob, mom’s new boyfriend. I can’t deny that I do miss some family time.
- “Yeah, I could do that… I have some money saved.” I sniffled in happiness that I soon would be in my beloved mother’s arms. Living under her room again, hearing her wisdom of words that could solve anything. I wonder if she will be able to make up my mind about this as well.

I texted Andrew after we hung up to tell him about the trip.

To: Andrew B
From: Nicole C
I just wanted to let you know I’m flying to Seattle to see my mom this weekend. xoxo

To: Nicole C
From: Andrew B
That makes me sad to hear. I was looking forward to having you over again this weekend. Please know that I’m going to miss you. XxXx

To: Andrew B
From: Nicole C
I need some time away from you. Don’t get me wrong, because I have enjoyed this weekend with you, but I’ve found out stuff that I can’t deal with around you. I am sorry. Xoxo

I put my phone down and sighed as I watched the sun set over a busy downtown Los Angeles. I felt ashamed to ask for a weekend off when I just started, but it just had to work out.

- “Oh, My plans for you would be to go with Paul to Warped tour that’s in San Francisco to interview a couple of bands but,.. It’s okay. I’ll have you signed up on something else when you get back. Just finish the articles.”
- “Thank you Miss Vaught. I can still work while I’m away, that’s no problem.”
- “Alright, but you owe me one, Cox!”

Three days later I had packed my bags and was standing alone in the crowd on the LAX. I kinda wished for Andy to come running, telling me everything was going to be fine. Saying that he should rip the contract and tell me he love me. But somehow I knew that would never happen. A girl can dream, right?

Before I boarded the plane I checked my emails and I found a long one from Andy.

Subject: This is who I am.
From: Andrew Biersack
To: Nicole Cox
Date: 20 July 2014, 06:35

Dear Nicole,
The facts that you have been receiving last weekend is overwhelming, I’m sure. I want you to know that whatever stands in that contract is for your own safety. I would never physically hurt you in any way. You’re alive, it’s nothing but a sore butt.
Regarding my still working relationship with Lola, I’m not going to cut it off since we are business partners. She owns the company that shoots our music videos and we’ve written a contract with them. It’s not as easy as you think to just cut people off in this business. I could lose my whole career over such a small thing, and I’m sorry. I’m not willing to do that, not even for you.
It will be hard, staying away from you for this amount of time, but work and you going away for the weekend is inevitable. I wish for you to have a great time with your mother and family.

Your rockstar,
Andrew Biersack, lead singer of Black Veil Brides.

Ps. I will miss you so much.

I sighed helplessly and leaned back into my seat. My heart ached and I intended to sleep the whole flight.

- “My baby girl!” My mother sighed as we collided in a warm hug at the airport.
- “Mom.” I whined.
Everything was almost the same at home. Except that bob had seemed to make my bedroom into a gym. I was fine with that though. Bob hugged me and seemed happy to see me.
- “So how’s Los Angeles?” He smiled.
Mom had cooked us the best dinner as always and it felt good to be around sane people for a change.
- “It’s great. It’s huge and I just got a new job actually.”
- “Oh really?! “ My mom chimed in.
- “Yeah, it’s uh,… I got a job at a music magazine.”
- “So, you like it better there than at the LA daily?” bob muttered with a fork full of peas.
- “oh, I wouldn’t know yet,. I’ve only been there for a couple of days actually so…”
- “I’m sure you will fit right in.” positive mothers never change.

I rested my heavy head on the pillow. I checked my phone and to my surprise I had no emails or texts from Andrew. Maybe it was for the better. I needed this weekend to be Andy-free.
On the other side of the wall I could hear mom and bob laugh. Discussing todays events and laughing together. Why couldn’t Andy and I have that? My whole body ached for Andy and I just had to fight it. I closed my eyes hard and smiled to myself. I was so happy that my mother had found someone like Bob.
My phone vibrated hysterically on the bedside table. Instead of answering I closed my eyes and turned off the lights.

Notes

So, did anyone of you seen the movie?
What was your thoughts?
Did you or did you not read the book before you saw the movie?

Want my opinions?
It sucked.